Entertainment of 2014-06-23

Joselyn Dumas talks Love, Sex and Friendship

Bubbly Ghanaian actress and television personality, Joselyn Dumas' friendship is not open to all; certainly not for people whose attitude she considers ugly.

In a rare radio interview, the actress, noted for her admirable figure, said she doesn't befriend people who have a different thinking frame because she does not have a bad attitude.

According to the award winning actress, because she is not ugly in character, she attracts beautiful people, and so befriends only pretty people.

Joselyn made the revelation while answering a question on the topic: "Can a man and a woman be just friends?" on the Super Morning Show on Joy FM with Kojo Yankson last Friday.

"I don't befriend ugly people naturally because I don't think I am ugly, so I attract very beautiful people - men and women. I've never made an ugly friend, all my friends are beautiful," the talk show host stated.

Expanding her views on the topic, the actress noted that there is nothing wrong with a male and a female agreeing to be platonic friends.

"You can be friends [with] the opposite sex and be platonic friends but at the end of the day, it's what you both want, it takes two to tango so if you are my friend and we just want friendship that's what it's going to be if we both want to take it a step further it's always easier because we've already been friends and we know what we like and we don't like," Joselyn Dumas noted.

She added that, "if you have a friend and you are just friends and you both agree that you just want to be friends, there is nothing wrong with that."

The actress further stressed that, friends who are not in tuned with what she wants, respect her decision "otherwise we can't be friends anymore."

'Friends with benefit'

Joselyn Dumas had held the view that the popular phrase, 'Friends with benefit' did not necessarily connote sexual relationship, but friendship in which both parties are there for each other.

She said, "we've all had a friend with benefit. It could be different benefits, but we've all had a friend with benefit....when you need something, they are the people [you go to] as well."

After renowned playwright Ebo Whyte, also a guest on the show, explained that the popular term is associated with friends who engage in sexual activity without commitment, she disclosed that she has had a friend with benefit.

"Oh yeah absolutely," she said and added that "sometimes too I think where there is a tag with a relationship, it becomes a problem, then the expectations are quite high, but we have a friend with benefit, we see how it goes. If it goes well and we eventually decide that look we [are] going to take this a step further kudos but once this is my boyfriend, this is my girlfriend or I am married, there is that pressure... I personally don't want that at that particular moment so I would have a friend with benefit."

Joselyn noted that she holds that view because "there is that pressure of wanting to please all the time but when it is a friend with benefit, we both have that mutual understanding that at the end of the day, I don't owe you so much."

Ebo Whyte commenting on "Can a man and a woman be just friends?" said "I will say yes and no.... What do you want in a friend?" and that friendship without sex can be a fantastic one.

"I do know that a lot men have never given themselves the opportunity of looking at a woman as more than a sexual object and they don't know how much they are cheating themselves because the women you haven't gone to bed with is such a fantastic woman in relating when she knows that this is not on the card," he said.

The playwright noted that, "once sex comes in, the whole dynamics of a relationship changes. It is possible, it is difficult, but that is no reason why we should not give it a try and it's all in the mind and your orientation."

Ebo Whyte, who is also a counselor, advised that, "friendship should be allowed to grow" because women generally "don't see themselves as sex objects. They wish you would admire and respect me for who I am as a person, for my mind not my body."

Communications Specialist and Consultant, Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, agreed with Ebo Whyte and stressed that "it's entirely possible for men and women to be platonic friends. I also think it's entirely possible for men and women who have previously been in a sexual relationship to become platonic friends. What's important is what you have in common."

Sedem Ofori, Senior Producer and Head of Thought Leadership Unit at Joy FM, held the view that there is nothing wrong with adults choosing to have sex and remaining friends.

"It depends on what you call friendship and what friendship means to those two people. They could be friends and sleeping and doesn't make it any less a friendship," he noted.

According to him, it is sometimes an idealistic expectation when friends approach a relationship with the presumption that they will not be having sex because "what it means is that you will be spending a lot time together. You will be sharing very intimate sides of your personality and experiences together that naturally puts you in a position where you feel attraction for each other."

Source: myjoyonline
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