I often hear other men talking about the women they are dating aside from their wives. They call these women “the peace away from the storm.” They say, “When madam gives you trouble, you run to the girlfriend for your own peace of mind.” It’s just about having someone else by your side who will listen to you, not fight with you, and instead, give you everything you ask for. Things started taking a turn for me when my wife got pregnant. Even before the pregnancy, she fought me whenever it got to the match. There was no day in our lives that she didn’t find a reason to avoid it. But things got worse when she became pregnant.
So I found a girlfriend, Humu. A young beautiful Muslim girl who looked like someone who wouldn’t kill a fly. She never said a word without saying please. Actually, it was Her sense of humor that drew me to her. She tells crazy jokes and wasn’t shy about calling things the way they are. I met her at the hospital, in her nursing uniform. After talking for a while, we exchanged numbers and two weeks later, I proposed. Things were good. I ran to her after work and took what madam won’t give me. She knew when to call me and when not to call me. She knew she shouldn’t text after 6pm and when she did, she didn’t have to expect a response until the following day.
These rules were scripted and each of us was supposed to obey.
Three months into the relationship, she started making demands I found hard to comply with. once she said, “You come here and you’re always in a hurry to leave. Why then do you come here?” I said, “You know I have to be home before my madam comes.” She said, “Then don’t come here at all. Just when I’m about to get into the groove, you decide to run. You’re always in a hurry, why?” We had a talk about it and she gave me the impression that she had understood what I said. One evening after work, I went to her and an hour later, I told her I was leaving. She said, “Ok…” I didn’t like her response but I got up to go anyway. When I got to the door, the door was locked.”
“Humu, the door is locked.”
“Really? Then you are stuck.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean if the door is locked then you can’t get out.”
“Oh stop that. Come and open and let me go.”
I walked into the bedroom and she was lying on the bed unconcerned. She said, “Why are you still here? Every day you come and you leave as if someone is chasing you out of the house. Today, you’re going to stay until I’m ok. I’m also a woman.” At 8pm my wife called. “Ain’t you coming home?” I said, “I’m on my way.” At 9pm she called again, “Are you coming from Mars that you’re not home at this time?” I said, “it’s Friday. Accra traffic.” It was 10pm when this girl finally let me out. When I was leaving I told her, “If this is what you’re going to do, I swear I won’t come here again.” She said, “If you don’t come here, I will come to your house and look for you.”
The next day she called to apologize. She said she was only apologizing because I was angry but whatever she did was out of love; “I’ve come to love you too much and I can’t stand you treating me like my feelings don’t matter. Spend time with me too. You’re the man. Find something to tell her when you get home late. Did she beat you last night when you went late? Did you die?” Love wasn’t part of the deal when we started. She had come to fall in love with me and I’d come to love her too.
One night I saw her call. My wife was seated next to me so I couldn’t pick. Next two minutes she sent a message; “If you don’t pick, I’m coming to your house the next hour.” I checked the time, it was 9:10pm. She called again. I couldn’t pick. She texted, “I’m coming.” I sent her a text, “Coming where? Don’t be stupid. I told you not to call at this time?” She said, “The last time you were with me and she called, you picked so why can’t you pick mine?” I knew if I joke with her, she would be knocking on my door in the next minute. So I went out and called her.
“Where are you?”
“I’m in a taxi coming.”
“To your house.”
“Are you alright?”
“I’ll answer that when I get there.”
I had to mellow my voice and plead; ”Dear, don’t do that to me. I’ll spend all day with you tomorrow. I promise.” The following Saturday, I was with her all day. When we were together, she was happy—to the extent that she would do everything I ask. She starts causing me trouble only when I was away. One day she asked, “When was the last time you slept with your wife?” I said, “She doesn’t allow me.” She said, “You’re lying. You look like someone who did it last night.” I said, “No I didn’t.” The truth is, I did but I wasn’t going to confirm her suspicion. She said, “If you don’t take care, You’ll not sleep with your wife again. I will ensure that.” I asked, “What can you do? She said, “You forget where I come from?”
Now I’m scared of her. She cooks and I find it hard to eat. I’m scared she’s up to something. The way she’s deep in love and trying everything to keep me around, if I don’t take care, things would end up the wrong way. As I write this, I’m finding a way to leave. I threatened to leave if she doesn’t stop being over possessive. She said calmly; “You and I are stuck. We don’t have anywhere to go. You won’t leave me and I won’t leave you. Keep that in mind” She gets me scared and the next minute she brings happiness. I’m exploring all avenues to walk away and concentrate on my marriage but nothing works. She won’t do any wrong for me to use it as an opportunity to leave her. Anytime she senses that I’m trying to distance myself, she comes at me ensuring I snap out of whatever I’m planning against her. The day my wife finds out I have a side chick, I’m dead.
I can’t risk anything so I’m here waiting for the day things would be right for us to go our separate ways.