Opinions Wed, 14 Feb 2018

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Edwinology's Lab: The people who love weeds because they hate food

....Rest in peace Ebony...Rest in peace.

Let's just say that death has resurrected the Lab.

The tragedy of Ebony has revealed a special kind of tragedy walking among us.

E-lab has spotted that there are people who just love to hear fake pastors so they can condemn Christianity.

They are like people who love to watch weeds so that they can condemn food. They take up weed-watching as a hobby so they can denounce food-eating as a habit. All over social media, you hear them scream food is fake.

Put them in a sprawling sweet-scented garden and suddenly the most obvious thing they will see are tiny parasites, not a large paradise.

E-Lab weary of writing won't be wearied by these incredibly immature displays in the media. He feels their fleeting fame too profane that their mere mention defames God.

Suffice it to say it is easy to spot these weeds not even by their prophecies but more obviously by their fashion taste and flamboyant seat in their church.

For fashion and flamboyance are sufficient emblems of pride for a group to which humility is first nature.

Christians hold a worldview that the world is fully material and fully mystery. Some seeing-is-believing group says the only thing that matters is matter.

At best, this is not a rejection of God's existence. It is the rejection of the existence of romance.

Romance implies a lingering surprise, a lingering mystery, a gentle whisper into a lover's ears. A sudden stop by the office to drop flowers and a wallet. All blossoming relationships are a blossoming romance and we are bombarded with a 1000 ways people need to keep their romance alive because women love to surprise and be surprised.

She will place red petals delicately on the floor leading to the bedroom but alas our boring husband returns from work to see them and concludes strong winds blew the flowers into his house.

In his sharp intelligence, he signals the maid to sweep away the dead leaves of his own dead desire for mystery and romance.

They see a candlelight dinner on valentine's day and their calculatingly great fountain of reason urges them to ask 'where is romance'. They see a star-studded universe on Sunday and ask 'where is God'.

You can't be a romantic and a roaming atheist. This entire subject of God is really a simple discussion about boring husbands.

A person of faith accepts matter and mystery and so they live in a big world. They accept the claim that a bumpy road led to the Thursday tragedy as much as a grumpy mysteries.

This expert Christian driver could skilfully swerve a curve and still say thank you God as if he is a rookie on the road. But our there-is-no-God friends are not even allowed to enjoy their own valentine day's lest they fall in love and have to be romantic.

Take pre-destination and free will for example. The irreligious feel inspired to say, man is free and that fate is fiction. But we are convinced, man is as free as he is not free. These are not two extreme contradictions, these are two extreme compliments that kiss each other.

And in this matter, painters are the preachers. The artist is free to express himself in a painting because he is happy to be trapped by a picture frame. No man can appreciate the beauty of a picture without paying tribute to the borders.

Without picture frames, there can be no picture.

A word about why people love prophesies. E-Lab cannot reject prophecies but this craze for them is surely a sign that good salt has made the food go bad because there is too much salt.

The reason people love prophecy is the same reason why people love technology. We are always reading about the prediction of the latest technological breakthrough.

People in an endless snake queue to buy the latest high-tech Apple gadget. We are always been asked by Zuckerberg to update facebook app and Whatsapp because we are always keen to find the latest development.

We are flying to Mars to explore a future planet kind enough to welcome new visitors. Man is in an endless plunge on a super fast highway to the future.

This desire to see the future with technology is the same desire some people have to see the future with prophecies.

But this same high-sophisticated future freak tech guy is livid when simple people exhibit this same sophisticated desire to dabble in the prophetic.

If Apple recalls a latest high-tech device because it is defective they will never scream apple is fake. But let a man claim to prophesy and his prophecy fail and these will find fresh evidence that God is fake. The first man who put an apple in his mouth will be shocked by this fake Apple we stick in our ears.

An edible apple costs a man his soul, an indelible one is costing a man his reason.

This world has such a desire to look into the future when all the answers are in the past.

The future of disease and death are all in the past. The future of marriage and materials are in the past. The future of sex, sin and even sex positions are all in the past.

Even the old book that reveals the future of this world is written in the past tense. A Christian is a great historian and a minor prophet.

We know enough of the past we can live without the future. And so while the world wants to leap into the future with data we are so convinced in digging the past for diamonds.

We don't want to move on with the new gay gene, we think the sin gene explains the gay gene.

E-Lab really giggles when he hears some people trying to solve the riddle of the existence of aliens maybe on Mars.

Because all around him, he sees aliens right here on earth- They are called Christians for they love to sing 'this world is not my home'.

RIP Ebony.

Columnist: Edwin Appiah

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