LifeStyle of 2026-09-11

Dear GhanaWeb: My boyfriend has poor personal hygiene

Dear GhanaWeb, My boyfriend is in his mid-30s, and there is something about him that has been bothering me for a long time. His personal hygiene is extremely poor. The confusing part is that he bathes regularly. I cannot lie about that. He can take several baths, and immediately after bathing, he smells fresh and nice. But the moment he uses his towel to dry himself, the smell changes. His towel is so dirty because he hardly washes it. Sometimes, he can wear one pair of boxers for almost a week. This is a teacher we are talking about. He also does not brush his teeth regularly, and the state of his home is something else entirely. He can finish eating and leave the bowls unwashed for weeks. I am not exaggerating. He can leave them there for over a month until the kitchen starts smelling. His room is always littered with rubbish. Sachet rubbers, food wrappers and all kinds of dirt can be found everywhere. He hardly sweeps his room, and he does not seem bothered by the mess. The strange thing is that outside, nobody would suspect any of this. He always looks neat and organised. He holds leadership positions and presents himself well in public. But if you enter his room, you will be shocked. I have tried talking to him about it several times. The first time I raised the issue, he became angry and told me he had heard what I was saying. Since then, nothing has changed. What makes the situation worse is that whenever I visit him, he expects me to clean up after him. I find myself washing his clothes, sweeping his room, washing his bowls and picking up rubbish he has left everywhere. If I visit and decide not to clean, he becomes angry, as if cleaning his room is my responsibility. The painful part is that this is not a man who supports me financially. I take care of myself and handle my own responsibilities. Yet, whenever I visit him, I end up doing household chores for a grown man who does not even help to clean up the mess he creates. I have reached a point where I do not even eat when I visit him because of how he handles his things. Even when I wash his bowls myself, I still feel uncomfortable eating from them. His excuse is that he does not have time to clean because he works as a teacher and also does home tuition after school. But I feel like this has gone beyond being busy. I have met other men who are extremely busy but still manage to brush their teeth, wash their underwear, clean their rooms and wash their bowls after eating. So, why is he different? My biggest fear is our future. I cannot imagine ending up with someone like this and having to clean up after him for the rest of my life. What happens when we have children? What exactly will he teach them about cleanliness and personal hygiene? Should I keep trying to help him change, or am I slowly turning myself into his unpaid cleaner while hoping that one day he will become the man I want him to be? What do I do now? FG/BAI “We Can Do Something Amazing” – Shirley Frimpong Reveals Big Plans for Ghana’s 70th Anniversary Film