LifeStyle of 2026-09-14

Dear GhanaWeb: My father took my innocence at 12, now I can’t have a child

Dear GhanaWeb, I have been married for seven years, but I have never been able to get pregnant. The painful part is that everyone seems to think I am the problem. They keep wondering why I cannot give my husband and myself a child, but they do not know the secret I have carried for most of my life. A secret that began with the one person who was supposed to protect me: my father. He took my innocence when I was just 12 years old. I was too young and scared to understand what was happening to me, and I never told anyone. The first time he forced himself on me, I bled badly. It happened in the afternoon when no one else was at home. He tried to take care of me, but the bleeding continued for almost two weeks. When my mother eventually noticed, she thought I had started my period. Thankfully for him, the bleeding stopped a few days later, and no one asked any further questions. My father continued abusing me for years. I became pregnant several times, and each time, he made sure the pregnancies were terminated. I suffered in silence because I was terrified and felt like I had nowhere to turn. The last straw came when I was 21. After one particular abortion, I bled so heavily that I collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. I was admitted for days, and when I finally regained consciousness, something inside me had changed. I knew I could not continue living in that house. I left home and never truly returned. Since that abortion, my body has never been the same. I experience regular bleeding that is not my menstrual period. Sometimes, blood comes once or twice a week. This has been happening for the past 16 years. I have gone to different hospitals, hoping someone would finally tell me what is wrong with me. But each time, I am told there is nothing serious. Yet, deep down, I know something is not right. Now, after seven years of marriage, I cannot get pregnant. I am seeing doctors and trying to find answers, but nothing seems to make sense. My father, the man I blame for everything that has happened to me, is no longer alive. Sometimes, I sit alone and wonder whether the abuse I suffered as a child and the abortions I was forced to go through have destroyed my chance of becoming a mother. How will I get a child I’ve been praying for all these years? I need help! FG/EB “We Can Do Something Amazing” – Shirley Frimpong Reveals Big Plans for Ghana’s 70th Anniversary Film