LifeStyle of 2026-09-23

Dear GhanaWeb: I had sex by a river with three men, now I’m childless

Dear GhanaWeb, I have been married for nine years, but my husband and I still do not have a child. We have visited different hospitals several times, but whenever we go for tests, we are told that there is nothing seriously wrong with either of us. I have been thinking about my past and something has been bothering me. Throughout my life, I have only been with three men. I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 16 and we were living in the village. We had a particular place where we always met. It was in the bush, under a big tree near a river. That was where I lost my virginity and where we had most of our sexual encounters. We enjoyed being together so much that even after he got a room, we still went back to that place almost every evening. I loved those moments and we stayed together for seven years before I left the village for university in Accra. We eventually broke up after he did not continue his education. At university, I started dating another man. Because of his roommates, we often looked for secluded places where we could be alone. I found myself wanting the same kind of experience I had with my first boyfriend, so I encouraged him to find places where we could sneak away and have sex. That relationship also ended after I graduated. Later, I met my husband. We dated for three years before getting married in 2017. Interestingly, even with him, we sometimes had sex outside. Where he lived, there was a river, or more like a dam, and that became one of the places we went before we got married. I actually enjoyed it because it reminded me of how my first relationship started. Even after we got married, I sometimes insisted that we go to secluded outdoor places to have sex. A few months into the marriage, however, I started becoming concerned because I was not getting pregnant. I eventually stopped having sex outside and began thinking about whether all those years of having sex near rivers and in open places could somehow be connected to my inability to conceive. I have heard people say that having sex around water bodies or in certain outdoor places can expose someone to spiritual attacks. I don’t know whether there is any truth in that, but when I look at my own history, I realise that all three men I have ever been with had sexual encounters with me outdoors. My husband knows nothing about my previous experiences except what we did together, so I have not told him the full story. I have been carrying this fear alone because I don’t want him to think I am blaming our infertility on something he does not believe in. Another thing that worries me is that I sometimes dream about having sex. It does not happen every night, but there are months when I have such dreams twice or even more. Because of everything I have been thinking about, those dreams have started making me even more afraid. We have already tried IVF once, but unfortunately, it failed. I no longer have the money to try again, and at 39, I feel like time is running out for me. I desperately want to have a child of my own, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering whether I ignored something that could have helped me. Could having sex near rivers and in secluded outdoor places really be the reason I have not conceived for nine years, or am I blaming my past for something that has another explanation? What do I do now? FG/EB This Is the Moment Black Sherif Realized He’s Made It as Fans Sing Every Word of His Songs