LifeStyle of 2026-09-30
Dear GhanaWeb: My fiancé’s mother is maltreating me despite efforts to please her
Dear GhanaWeb,
I am a 28-year-old woman and I have been dating my fiancé for two years. Three weeks ago, he proposed to me and I was so happy because I genuinely love him and have always looked forward to building a future with him.
After the proposal, he told me that he wanted us to visit his mother so we could ask for her blessings before we started making serious wedding plans. I was excited because I believed meeting his family properly would bring us closer and help us prepare for the marriage.
When we got there, however, I immediately noticed that his mother did not seem happy to see me. She was not warm towards me, but I tried not to take it personally. I told myself that perhaps she just needed time to get to know me.
Then she told her son that she wanted me to stay with her for two weeks. According to her, she wanted to use the two weeks to study me and train me on how to take care of her son properly.
Because I love my fiancé and I really want to marry him, I agreed. I thought it would be a good opportunity to win her over and show her that I genuinely love her son.
But five days into the two weeks, I am already regretting my decision.
Since I arrived, I have practically become the only person doing all the chores in the house. I cook, clean and do almost everything that needs to be done. What hurts me the most is that she hardly appreciates anything I do. Whenever I cook, she complains that the food is not nice or that I did something wrong.
I have tried my best not to respond because I don't want to be disrespectful to my future mother-in-law. I keep telling myself that I should endure it because I want her blessings and I don't want anything to come between her son and me.
She has even told her son not to come and visit me until the two weeks are over. So, for now, I am here with her while my fiancé stays away because she believes he shouldn't come around.
At first, I thought I could handle everything. I told myself that I shouldn't let her win because her son loves me and has chosen me as the woman he wants to marry. I believed that if I endured the two weeks, she might eventually accept me and give us her blessing.
But now I am beginning to wonder whether I am making a mistake. What if I continue trying to please her and she never accepts me? What if this is only the beginning of what I will have to deal with after marriage?
I have already spent five days here and I feel emotionally exhausted. I don't want to disrespect her or create problems between my fiancé and his mother, but I also don't want to lose myself just because I want her approval.
Should I endure the remaining days and hope things change, or should I tell my fiancé what I am going through and leave? What do I do now?
FG/EB
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