LifeStyle of 2026-10-22

Dear GhanaWeb: I lost a breast to cancer; I’m afraid my boyfriend will leave me

Dear GhanaWeb, I am a 35-year-old woman, single, with no child, and I have been through more pain than most people know. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and after everything I went through, I had to lose one of my breasts to save my life. Surviving cancer was not easy. I went through fear, pain, emotional struggles, and moments when I wondered what my future would look like. But somehow, I survived, and I thought the hardest part of my journey was over. Little did I know that another kind of pain was waiting for me. After losing my breast, my confidence dropped. I struggled to accept my body, and even though I was grateful to be alive, I could not stop worrying about how people, especially men, would see me. I have always wanted to get married and have a family of my own. At 35, I still dream of having a loving husband and children who will call me their mother. But my experiences with men have made me feel as though those dreams may never come true. Every man I have met since losing my breast has eventually left me. The most painful experience was with my ex-fiancé. He knew about my battle with breast cancer and everything I had gone through before I eventually lost my breast. I thought he was the one person who would understand me and stand by me no matter what happened. His decision broke something inside me. I began to wonder whether any man could genuinely love me again. I started feeling that perhaps losing my breast meant losing the chance to be loved, desired and accepted by a man. I tried to move on with my life, but the fear never left me. Whenever I met someone new, I would ask myself how long it would take before he discovered the truth about my body and walked away like the others. Then, one day, I went out to eat, and while I was there, I met a wealthy man who showed interest in me. We started talking, and before long, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I agreed because I liked him, and I was happy that someone was showing me genuine affection again. He has been so loving and caring towards me. He checks on me, makes me feel special and gives me the kind of attention I have always wanted from a partner. For the first time in a long while, I started feeling hopeful about love again. But there is one problem: he does not know that I have only one breast. From the beginning of our relationship, I made a decision to hide my body from him. I was so afraid that if he discovered my scar and realised what I had gone through, he would leave me just like the other men. Because of this fear, I have been avoiding anything that might expose my body. Whenever he wants us to be intimate, I find a way to stop it. Sometimes, he suggests that we take our bath together, but I always refuse. I come up with excuses because I cannot bring myself to stand naked in front of him. It is not because I do not love him or find him attractive. In fact, I love him so much that the thought of losing him terrifies me. I want to be close to him. I want to enjoy our relationship without constantly worrying about hiding a part of myself. I want to be able to sleep beside him, take my bath with him and be intimate with him without feeling ashamed of my body. Recently, I noticed that my boyfriend has started questioning my feelings for him. He sometimes acts as though I am not attracted to him or that I am deliberately keeping my distance because I do not love him enough. It hurts because the truth is the complete opposite. I am only hiding because I am afraid of losing him. I know I cannot continue like this forever. We are in a relationship, and sooner or later, there will come a time when I cannot hide my body from him anymore. I also know that the longer I keep this secret, the more he may begin to question my honesty and commitment to him. Sometimes, I sit alone and wonder whether I should tell him everything. But what if I tell him and he leaves? What if I finally open my heart to him, only for him to look at my body differently and decide that he cannot be with me? I do not know if I could survive another heartbreak like that. Should I gather the courage to tell my boyfriend that I lost one of my breasts to cancer and risk losing him? I need your suggestions, please. FG/EB Gender Minister Receives Petition on Women’s Rights & Social Protection