LifeStyle of 2026-11-02
Dear GhanaWeb: My husband has millions, but he is very stingy
Dear GhanaWeb,
I don't even know where to start because sometimes I sit and wonder how I ended up in this kind of marriage. My husband is 38, and I'm 32. We don't have children yet, but he keeps saying he's planning for the future and saving towards having a family.
The problem is that I don't even know what kind of future he's saving for because he doesn't want to spend money on anything, not even things that would make him happy.
My husband is extremely stingy and when I say stingy, I don't mean the normal kind of person who knows how to manage money. This is something else entirely. He literally shakes whenever he has to take money out of his pocket to buy something or give someone money.
Before we got married, our relationship was long-distance. I was financially independent and hardly asked him for anything. He also made it clear that he would only start taking care of me financially after marriage because he had once spent money on someone who disappointed him. I understood his explanation and never thought much about it.
But now that we're married, I've realised that things are not what I expected. If my husband gives me money to buy something, I must account for every penny. He wants receipts, explanations and the exact balance left. Sometimes, he would rather buy things himself because he doesn't trust me to spend the money wisely.
And the funny thing is that he mostly buys the cheapest, lowest-quality things. Everything must be cheap, even if it means buying something that won't last.
If we buy chicken to prepare stew, this man counts the pieces. He measures cooking ingredients for me and sometimes tells me not to cook or touch anything in the kitchen until he returns because he wants to measure everything himself. Imagine having to explain how much food you've eaten in your own matrimonial home.
The situation is even worse when it comes to utilities. We have a television in our bedroom, but we hardly watch it because of prepaid electricity. The fan is usually off unless we're sweating badly. Even the lights are switched off immediately when they're no longer needed. If I want to enjoy the fan or watch television comfortably, I have to buy my own prepaid.
He can attend someone's programme, receive a free bottle of malt or mineral and bring it home. That drink can stay in the fridge for months because he won't touch it. But if I dare drink it, there will be serious trouble. Yet, if I buy drinks or food with my own money, he has no problem enjoying them. He will eat and drink as much as he wants because, apparently, it's no longer a problem when he hasn't paid for it.
My husband has about six shirts and three trousers. He doesn't buy snacks, yoghurt, or anything that would make life enjoyable. He even prefers drinking tap water to buying sachet water because he considers it an unnecessary expense.
What makes me even more confused is that this man isn't broke. The last time I saw his bank and MoMo balances, I was shocked. There were millions sitting in his accounts, yet he behaves as though spending even a little money would send him into bankruptcy.
At this point, I'm emotionally exhausted. I regret marrying him because I never imagined that marriage could feel this restrictive. I feel deprived, frustrated and sometimes embarrassed by the kind of life we're living.
Am I supposed to keep enduring this kind of marriage, or is it time to accept that I married someone whose relationship with money might destroy my happiness? And how do I even deal with a husband who has millions but makes his wife feel like she's begging for necessities? I need your help!
FG/EB
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