Dear GhanaWeb: My husband won’t let me see my family or make friends after marriage

Dear GhanaWeb, My husband has refused to allow me to attend any family gathering. He does not want any of my relatives visiting us, and he has also refused to let me see them. My children are growing up, with the youngest being three and the oldest seven, but they hardly know anyone from my side of the family apart from my mother. Even speaking to my siblings on the phone has become a problem. Sometimes, I have to hide before I can talk to my parents or siblings because my husband does not like seeing me communicate with anyone I know. Whenever my phone rings and I answer a call, he starts talking loudly in the background, asking me to end the call or remind the person that I am married. Sometimes, I wonder whether he thinks I do not understand what marriage means. Since we got married, I have not even spent a single day at my parents' house. I missed my younger sister's wedding because my husband claimed the venue was too far for me to travel to. I was heartbroken because I wanted to be there for my sister, but I had no choice. What makes the situation even more painful is that my husband has no problem maintaining relationships with his own family. His mother visits us regularly; he attends family meetings and constantly communicates with his relatives. He enjoys all these privileges, but I am not allowed to enjoy the same freedom. Whenever I complain, he tells me I am a woman and should not be too concerned about my family because I have brothers who can take care of them. My siblings are also unhappy with me because they feel I have abandoned them. They complain whenever there is a family meeting I fail to attend, while my mother keeps telling me that my husband is taking away my happiness. It is not just my family he wants me to stay away from. My husband does not want me to make friends either. He does not want me getting close to anyone, whether they are relatives or people I meet outside. My entire life revolves around him and the children. I wake up, attend to the house, take care of the children and wait for him. I have no social life, no friends and practically no one to talk to whenever I feel overwhelmed. He constantly checks my phone, and sometimes he even takes it along to work, leaving me at home without access to it. I have never given him any reason to suspect me of cheating or doing anything inappropriate. This behaviour started from the very beginning of our marriage, and despite the years that have passed, he has refused to change. I miss being around my family. I miss having people I can freely talk to. How do I get my husband to understand that being married does not mean I should abandon my family and everyone else in my life, or am I supposed to keep enduring this loneliness just to protect my marriage? FG/EB ‘Someone Built a House With My Music, But I Earned Nothing’ - Rex Omar Recounts Source: www.ghanaweb.com
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