Dear GhanaWeb: My late husband’s mother doesn’t support my plans to remarry

Dear GhanaWeb, I got married in 2017, but unfortunately, my marriage lasted only two years because death took my husband away in 2019 after a short illness. He was a good man, and I will never pretend otherwise. We met in 2014, fell in love, and eventually got married. Sadly, death separated us when we least expected it. We have a son together who looks so much like his father. Losing my husband was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Everything changed, and for years, I struggled to come to terms with the fact that I would have to raise our child without him. I was only 25 when he died. I spent years mourning him and trying to rebuild my life. It was not until 2024 that I finally allowed myself to date again. I am now 31, almost 32, and I believe I am still young enough to find love and enjoy marriage again. Fortunately, I met a wonderful man in 2024. He is also a widower with a child and is three years older than me. From the beginning, he accepted me and my son without making us feel like a burden. He has been good to us, and we have built a beautiful relationship over the years. He has now expressed his desire to marry me, and I am also ready to settle down with him. I honestly do not think there is anything wrong with wanting to be happy again after losing a husband. However, there is one person whose reaction has turned what should be a happy moment into a difficult situation for me. It is my late husband's mother. My mother is no longer alive, so my mother-in-law has been like a mother to me since her son's death. She was very close to her son, who was her only male child, and she absolutely adores our son. I believe my son has also played a major role in strengthening the bond between us over the years. I have always respected her, and despite losing her son, I have never abandoned her. We have maintained a good relationship, and I have always considered her part of my family. But she has never supported my decision to date again. When I started seeing my current partner in 2024, she was unhappy about it. She constantly found reasons why I should end the relationship and encouraged me not to get involved with another man. At first, I tried to understand her because I knew how much she loved her son. But I also knew that I could not spend the rest of my life alone simply because my husband had died. I had suffered enough, and I wanted to give myself another chance at love. Now that my partner and I are getting closer to marriage, my mother-in-law's attitude has changed drastically. She has become emotional whenever she sees me. She constantly brings up her late son, cries and reminds me of the love we shared. She keeps making me feel as though moving on means I have forgotten her son and everything we shared. It is becoming increasingly difficult because I genuinely love and respect this woman. I understand that she lost a son, but I also lost a husband, and I cannot remain stuck in grief forever. What makes this situation even more difficult is that I do not want to lose the relationship I have built with my mother-in-law. But must I sacrifice my happiness to keep her happy? Am I being insensitive by choosing to remarry, or should I consider her feelings and postpone my plans? How do I convince my late husband's mother that moving on does not mean I have forgotten her son, and should I go ahead with the marriage despite her tears and pleas? What do I do now? FG/EB ‘Someone Built a House With My Music, But I Earned Nothing’ - Rex Omar Recounts Source: www.ghanaweb.com
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