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Respect ‘born one’ women and stop the stigma against unwed mothers

Mother Baby0 File photo

Thu, 20 Apr 2023 Source: Dumenu Charles Selorm

Motherhood is a unique experience they say. Many who live it may spare certain details, however, it is not difficult to observe its intricateness and how energy-sapping it may be. This is a phase that has its peculiar challenges but you may want to empathize for a moment the depth of its complexity when it comes with a stigma.

Unwed mothers and motherhood outside wedlock is attended with a lot of stigmas which is very glaring in many developing countries. These countries are mostly very religious and Ghana is not an exception in any way or form. Aside from women being relegated in the social structure, the stigma of unwed mothers and its stereotypes have slowly deflated our women of their self-esteem.

Although our women have been consistent in their role as the pivots of various families and society generally, our patriarchal society does not only downplay, and underrate their role but continues to subject them to ridicule.

The stigma of unwed Mothers has pushed many women to the edge. Many have slipped into depression and some have admittedly contemplated committing suicide or at the brink.

Our society looks down on women with children outside wedlock. They are blackguarded with names like "Born One", "Born Two" and more.

These mothers may tend to raise their children with bitterness and their depleted self-esteem. To this effect, some are unable to love themselves and their children well enough.

If we are indeed products of our environment as opined by some psychologists, then a lot of these children could be traumatized as much as their single parents. Some of these mothers are victims of circumstances. From toxic relationships, poverty, men who have abandoned their children leaving these unwed mothers to bear the brunt and stigma of their status.

As Ghana has evolved into a Christian nation, let's not forget that Mary, the mother of Christ gave birth to Christ in the Bible as a teenager at about 13 or 14 years. At a point, she was also a "born one" just as we have all read, and Joseph isn't the father of Jesus.

The baby born out of wedlock brought salvation to the world as written in the Bible, irrespective of the stigma the mother Mary faced. And there are many great people who have been born and raised by unwed mothers in Ghana and globally.

Let's stop disrespecting our sisters, daughters, and mothers that have children out of wedlock. Let us stop giving up on them. This experience doesn't make them less human. They still have great prospects just as their children do. We have judged them enough. It is time to empathize and support them.

Let us fade away the stigma of unwed motherhood, by supporting women who choose to be mothers. Interventions such as pre-and post-natal care, vocational training, educational scholarships, daycare services, parenting education and access to basic necessities like food, clothing and educational support for their children. Our religious institution must be more considerate, supportive and accommodative of them.

I want to take the moment to congratulate all mothers in this position but haven't neglected or abandoned their children. Keep believing in yourself and know that the world can still be beautiful. You are beautiful and you can still find love, joy and happiness. Just continue loving yourself and your child.

Long live Mother Ghana.

Columnist: Dumenu Charles Selorm