LifeStyle of 2026-09-09
Dear GhanaWeb: I can’t take care of the three secret children I have outside marriage
Dear GhanaWeb,
I have been married for almost nine years, and my wife and I have three children together. My wife is a very hardworking woman, and to be honest, she contributes more financially to our home because she earns more money than I do.
She takes care of the children, pays the bills, and makes sure the house runs smoothly. Sometimes, I even wonder how I would survive without her.
I love my wife, and I do not want to hurt her or destroy our marriage. But unfortunately, I have created a problem that could bring everything crashing down, and I am desperately trying to find a way out before it is too late.
The truth is that I have three other children outside my marriage. Nobody knows about them except the two women I had the children with, myself, and my elderly sister. My sister has always opposed what I was doing and warned me several times, but I didn't listen.
The three children are from two different women. One woman has two children with me, while the other has one.
The painful part is that I do not even earn enough to comfortably take care of myself. If not for my wife and the support she gives at home, I am not sure there are times I would even have enough to eat.
For a long time, I tried to manage the situation and provide for the two women and the children. But the demands became too much for me. They were constantly asking for money, and I simply could not keep up.
Things became worse two months ago when the woman I have one child with abandoned the child because, according to her, I was not providing enough money. I had no option but to take the child to my big sister temporarily.
Just three weeks ago, the other woman also abandoned the two children she has with me, saying I was not giving her enough money. Once again, I had no choice but to take those two children to my sister.
So now, all three children are staying with my sister. The problem is that my sister does not have enough space. Her husband is also complaining, and I completely understand him. These are my children, and they should not become a burden on someone else's marriage and home.
I cannot bring the children into my home because I am almost certain my wife will ask questions. And when she finds out that I have been hiding three children from her throughout our marriage, I am afraid she will leave me.
And if she leaves me, I honestly do not know what will become of me. I am broke, scared, and desperate.
I have even found myself thinking about whether someone can adopt them or take care of them. It hurts me to say it, but I feel like I have reached a point where I cannot handle the responsibility.
I made terrible decisions, cheated on my wife, and brought three innocent children into the world without having the financial ability or courage to take responsibility for them properly.
Is there any other way to take responsibility for my three innocent children without destroying the only home I have left? What do I do now?
FG/EB
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