LifeStyle of 2026-11-05

Dear GhanaWeb: My 40-year-old half brother has been sleeping with me since I was 16

Dear GhanaWeb, I am a 20-year-old university student, and there is something I have been keeping to myself for years. I honestly do not know who to turn to or what to do anymore. I have been living with my half-brother since 2021. We have the same father but different mothers. Unfortunately, my mother is late, so I moved in with him to continue my education. He has been responsible for my upkeep and education since then. I completed senior high school and have now gained admission to the university. However, there is something terrible that has been happening between us, and I have never had the courage to tell anyone. Since 2022, my brother has been sleeping with me. He took me for family planning when I was just 16 and practically turned me into his secret wife. He made it clear that he loved me and did not care that we were siblings. He even told me he wanted to marry me and have children with me someday. He also warned me never to tell anyone about what was happening between us. My brother made me an indoor person. I was hardly allowed to go anywhere apart from school and home. He said he did not want me socialising with people because they would influence me negatively and spoil me. At the time, I was young, naive and completely dependent on him. I did not know how to handle the situation, especially because he was the person taking care of me and paying my school expenses. The truth is that I never enjoyed what he was doing to me. I was never comfortable with it, but whenever I refused to sleep with him, he beat me. Sometimes, I was in so much pain, but I had no choice because I was afraid of what he would do if I resisted. I kept enduring everything because he sometimes treated me nicely, and I felt indebted to him for taking care of me. What made matters worse was that he had a girlfriend who occasionally visited the house. Whenever she came around, he treated me like I meant nothing to him. But once she left, he would apologise, become affectionate again and resume sleeping with me. Things have changed since I entered the university. I have met people, learnt more about life and started understanding that what has been happening between my brother and me is not normal. I am now 20, and I want to take control of my life. I have told him that I want everything between us to end. I have made it clear that I no longer want him touching me because he is my brother, and I want to live my life normally. Unfortunately, he is refusing to let me go. When I confronted him, he blamed me for the fact that he is still unmarried at 40. He said I should not behave as though I am the only person affected by our relationship because he has also sacrificed his chance of getting married. He has now given me an ultimatum. According to him, we must continue sleeping together until he gets married, or he will make sure I go mad. He constantly threatens me with spiritual consequences, claiming that he has a friend who is a mallam and can deal with me spiritually. I am genuinely scared, but I also know I cannot continue living like this. I want to be free from him and start making decisions about my own life. I am confused and frightened. How do I get him to understand that I am no longer interested? How do I become financially independent when the person abusing me is also the person paying for my education? What should I do now? FG/EB Emotional Moment as Piesie Esther Grabs the Mic at Mabel Intuah’s Funeral