Dear GhanaWeb: My husband has another family outside our marriage

Dear GhanaWeb, I have been married for 15 years, and for a long time, I genuinely believed it was perfect. My husband is a very hardworking man. He takes responsibility for the family, provides for us and has always made sure the children and I have what we need. The only problem was that he was hardly ever home. During the first five years of our marriage, things were different. He spent more time with us and was very present in the children’s lives. But after the fifth year, everything changed. He started travelling more frequently. Sometimes he would be away for days. Even when he was in town, he would come home late. I complained several times and begged him to create more time for his family, but his answer was always the same. He was working hard because he wanted to give us a better life. So, I accepted it. The children also got used to Daddy not being around. I never seriously suspected that there was anything else going on because I had access to his main phone. Whenever I checked it, I saw nothing suspicious. I decided to clean his car. It was something I hadn’t done in years, but that particular day, I decided to do it. While cleaning, I heard a phone vibrating somewhere inside the car. I searched and found a smartphone hidden inside. Just as I picked it up, someone called and without thinking much, I answered. The first thing the woman said was, “So you can call them when you are here but you don’t mind us when you are there, why?” I asked who she was, but she immediately ended the call. I looked at the phone and saw my husband’s picture with a woman and two children as the wallpaper. My heart sank. I tried the password, and shockingly, it was the same password he uses for the phone he brings home. She was his wife. My husband had another family. They had been married for eight years and had two children together. I found their engagement pictures. I saw pictures of their wedding and their family moments. I have four children with this man. He has never been the type to help much around the house. But on that phone, I saw videos of him cooking with Vivian. I saw pictures of them travelling together, including one of them on a plane. He was giving another woman the time and companionship I had been begging him for. I couldn’t stop crying. When I confronted him with the phone, instead of apologising or explaining himself, he looked at me and asked: “What were you looking for in my car?” He grabbed the phone and left the house. He didn’t come back for three days. When he eventually returned, he behaved as though nothing had happened. According to him, as long as he was providing for the children and me, I had no reason to complain or cry. My siblings have advised me to leave the house. But how can I leave my children? They need me, and I don’t want to make a decision that will negatively affect them. How do I stop hurting over a husband who doesn’t seem sorry for breaking my heart? Am I foolish to stay simply because I don’t want my children to lose their home? What do I do now? FG/EB Osebo the Zaraman opens up on life, fashion and controversies Source: www.ghanaweb.com
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