Misc Jokes

Words Websters Left Out

1. Aquadextrous (akwa deks' trus) adj. Possessing
the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your
toes.

2. Carperpetuation (kar 'pur pet u a shun) n. The
act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of
lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
one
more chance.

3. Disconfect (diskonfect') v. To sterilize the
piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it,
assuming that somehow it will 'remove' all the germs.

4. Elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two
people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that
refuses to be swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a
person across the room until he finally decides to give up
and sweep it under the
rug.

6. Lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)
n. Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk container so
badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. Peppier (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy
restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around
asking diners if they want ground pepper.

8. Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of
dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling
just as they answer.

9. Pupkus (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on
a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice
before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.