Christmas Jokes

Twas the Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn

'Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin', Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.

When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound, I sprung to da
window, To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my Wanderin' eyes should appear, But da Don of
all elfs, And eight friggin' reindeer!

Wit' slicked back black hair, And a silk red suit, don
Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts, And a yank on dare manes, He
cursed and he shouted, And he called dem by name.

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie, Yo Vinny, Yo Vito, Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

As I drew out my gun And hid by da bed, He flew troo da
winda And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da hell you doin' Pullin' a gun on da Don? Now all
you're gettin' is coal, You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga Right unda my nose, He twisted his
pinky ring, And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, Obscenities screamin', Away dey all
flew, Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out, What I did least expect, "Merry
Friggin' Christmas to all, And yous better show some
respect!"