Christmas Jokes

Top 10 Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid

10. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream
on, Chester!"

9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.

8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping
and handling.

7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are
styrofoam peanuts.

6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in
his bed.

5. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the dork
list.

4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival Cruises with Kathie
Lee.

3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard
and I'll put the hurt on you."

2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from
Craptown."

1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"