'I no fit save both my twins': How Sudan war make one mother make impossible choice

Warning: Dis tori get some tins wey fit affect some pipo.

Touma neva chop for days. She just sidon quiet, her eyes dey empty as she dey look one side for inside hospital ward.

For her hand, her three-year-old pikin, Masajed, dey lie down no movement, im bodi don weak sake of hunger.

Touma no even react to di cry of oda small pikin wey dey around.

"I wish say she go cry," di 25-year-old mama tell us as she look her pikin. "She never cry for days now."

Bashaer Hospital na one of di few hospitals wey still dey work for Sudan capital, Khartoum - place wey war don scatter since April 2023. Plenty pipo don waka long distance to reach hia for better treatment.

Di malnutrition ward full wit small pikin wey no get strength again to fight sickness, and dia mama just dey beside dem, dem no fit do anytin.

Di cry wey dey di place no get cure - eviri single one dey pain deep for heart.

Touma and her family no get choice dan to run wen fight between Sudan army and di paramilitary group wey dem dey call Rapid Support Forces (RSF) reach dia area - about 200km (125 miles) southwest of Khartoum.

She say: "Di [RSF] carry everytin we get - our money, our animals - dem collect am from our hand."

"We just escape wit our life."

Since dem no get food or money, Touma children begin suffer.

As she dey tok about dia old life, her face show surprise - like she still no believe.

"Bifor, our house full wit good tins. We get animals, milk, and dates. But now, we no get anytin again."

Sudan dey face one of di worst humanitarian wahala for di whole world right now.

According to di UN, three million pikin wey never reach five years don suffer from serious malnutrition. Di few hospitals wey remain don full pass dia power.

Bashaer Hospital dey try give pipo care and small-small treatment free of charge.

But di lifesaving medicine wey di children for di malnutrition ward need, na di families need to buy am wit dia own money.

Masajed na twin, dem carry she and her sister, Manahil, come hospital togeda. But di family only fit buy antibiotics for one pikin.

Touma get to make di choice wey break heart, she choose Manahil.

"I wish say di two of dem fit recover and grow," her voice break as she tok wit tears, "and say I go fit see dem dey waka and dey play togeda like before."

"I just want make di two of dem get beta," Touma tok as she hold her dying pikin.

"I dey alone. I no get anytin. Na only God I get."

Chance to survive for hia small well-well. For di families wey dey dis ward, di war don take everytin wey dem get. Dem no get anytin again, and dem no even fit buy di medicine wey go save dia pikin life.

As we dey comot, di doctor tok say none of di children for dis ward go survive.

All around Khartoum, di civil war don change di story of many children life foreva.

Wetin start as fight between soldiers wey dey loyal to two generals army chief Gen Abdel Fattah al-Burhan and RSF leader Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo, wey pipo sabi as Hemedti quickly turn to big wahala wey swallow di whole city.

For two years until last March wen di army take back control, war hold di city tight as rival fighters dey clash up and down.

Khartoum, wey bifor be place of culture and business for River Nile side, turn to battlefield. Tanks roll enter neighbourhoods, fighter jets dey fly pass wit loud noise, and civilians find say dem hook between gunfire, bomb blast and drone attack.

Na inside dis scatter-scatter place, among di silence of destruction, wey one small pikin voice dey rise from di ruins.

Twelve-year-old Zaher dey push imself wit wheelchair through di wreckage, e pass burnt cars, tanks, broken houses and empty bullets wey don scatter eviriwia.

"I dey go house," e sing small to imself as di wheelchair roll for top broken glass and metal pieces. "I no dey see my house again. Where my house dey?"

Im voice, weak but e dey strong-minded, e carry both pain for wetin dem don lose and small hope say one day, e go fit finally go back home.

For one building wey dem don turn to shelter, Zaher mama, Habibah, tell me how life be wen RSF dey control di area.

"E no easy at all," she tok. "We no fit on light for night e be like say we be thief. We no fit cook wit fire. We no dey even move for night at all."

She sidon beside her pikin for one room wey get single beds eviriwia.

"At any time, weda you dey sleep, baff or just dey stand, you go see dem [RSF] right behind you."

Many pipo run comot from di capital, but Zaher and im mama no get any means to escape. To survive, dem start to dey sell lentils for street.

One morning as dem dey work togeda, na so drone come strike.

"I look am, blood full everywia," Habibah tok. "I dey faint small small but I tell mysef make I no sleep, bicos if I faint, I go lose am forever."

Zaher leg wound bad. Afta hours of pain, dem finally reach hospital.

"I dey beg God, 'Abeg make you take my life instead of im legs,'" she cry.

But di doctors no fit save am. Dem cut both of im legs just under di knee.

"Each time e wake up, e go ask, 'Why you allow dem cut my legs?'" She bend her head, guilt full her face. "I no fit answer am."

Both Habibah and her pikin dey cry, dia mind still dey pain dem for wetin hapun. Wetin make am worse be say prosthetic legs fit help Zaher live like bifor, but Habibah no fit buy am.

For Zaher, di memory too heavy to tok about.

E only get one small dream "I just wish say I fit get artificial legs make I fit play football wit my friends like bifor. Na all be dat."

Children for Khartoum no only lose dia childhood, dem also lose safe place to play and be happy.

Schools, football fields, and playgrounds don scatter na only broken tins remain to remind pipo of di life wey war don steal.

"Before, dis place fine well well," na so 16-year-old Ahmed tok as e look around di destroyed playground and funfair.

For im grey, torn T-shirt, dem print one big smiling face under am dem write "smile." But wetin Ahmed dey face no get anytin to do wit smiling.

"Me and my brodas dey come here bifor. We go play from morning till night, dey laugh anyhow. But wen I come back afta di war, I no believe say na di same place."

Ahmed now dey live and work for dis same place, dey clear all di scatter-scatter tins wey war leave behind. Dem dey pay am $50 (₦37) for 30 days of nonstop work.

Di small money wey e make, e dey use am take support im mama, im grandma, and one of im brodas.

Bifor, e get six oda brothers, but like many pipo for Sudan, e don lose contact wit dem. As e dey tok, e look ground e no even know weda any of dem still dey alive.

Di war don scatter plenty families like im own.

Eviri day, Ahmed work dey remind am of dat fact. "I don find like 15 dead bodies so far" e tok quietly.

Many of di remains wey dem find, dem don already bury, but still, bones dey everywia for di area.

Ahmed waka cross di park, bend down and pick one human jaw. "E dey fear me, e dey make my bodi shake" e tok.

E show us anoda bone, hold am near im leg and tok softly, "Na leg bone be dis like my own."

Ahmed say e no dey even tink about tomorrow again.

"Since di war start, I just know say maybe na so my life go end. So I stop to dey dream about my future."

Di war don destroy plenty schools for Sudan, and e don make children future more dangerous. Millions of dem no dey go school again.

But Zaher na one of di lucky ones. E and im friends dey learn for one small classroom wey volunteers build inside one abandoned house.

For di small class, you go hear dem dey shout answers, dey write for board, dey sing songs even small small stubborn ones dey play for back.

To hear children voice again learning, laughing for kontri wey no get safe place for children to play, e sweet like honey.

Wen we ask dem wetin childhood suppose be, Zaher classmates answer wit innocent voice: "We suppose dey play, dey read, dey learn."

But war memory no dey ever far. Zaher cut in, "We no suppose dey fear bombs and bullets. We suppose get courage."

Dia teacher, Miss Amal, don teach for 45 years. But she tok say she never see children wey war affect reach like dis bifor.

"Di war don really touch dem," she tok. "E don affect dia mind, di way dem tok. Dem dey speak like militia pipo now dey use curse words, dey fight, dey carry stick or whip. Dem dey anxious every time."

And e no stop dia. Bicos many families no get work again, hunger don enter dia homes.

"Some students dey come school from house wey no get bread, flour, milk, oil or notin at all," Miss Amal tok.

Still, inside all di pain and wahala, Sudan children dey still hold small moments of joy.

For one rough football field, Zaher dey drag imself for ground wit im knees, just bicos e wan play di game wey e love pass. Im friends dey shout and dey hail am as e kick di ball.

"My favourite tin na football," e tok, smiling for di first time.

Wen dem ask am which team e dey support, e answer sharp sharp "Real Madrid." Im favourite player? "Vinícius."

To play ball wit knees dey very painful, and e fit cause more infection but Zaher no send.

Football and im friends don save am. Dem don give am small happiness and help am forget im pain small.

Still, Zaher dey dream say one day, e go get artificial legs.

"I just wish say dem go fix me, so I fit waka go house and go school," Zaher tok.



Reminders of the conflict lie strewn across Khartoum



Ahmed has found human remains at a playground where he is paid to tidy up



Zaher still loves to play football