Meet Melanie and Chayse: Di disabled woman and her sex worker

Wen Melanie bin dey social isolation for her house for sak of Covid-19, she make promise to hersef. Once she fit comot again, she go hire sex worker, lose her virginity and stop all di worry worry wey she develop around love and intimacy as disable pesin.

Na Melanie support worker first suggest di idea. As dem two dey isolate togeda, Tracey give Melanie massage.

Nobody don touch Melanie before if not for medical treatment and, at 43 years, she realise say she want more.

Tracey, no be her real name, reveal to Melanie say she bin do sex work before and tink say she fit try personal service option.

“E just open my eyes to di fact say maybe I fit experience dis,” Melanie tell BBC Access All.

She find escort online, wia di profile of one man wey dem dey call Chayse enta her eye.

Excited, she book am, come travel go im apartment for di first session.

“Wen I comot from my wheelchair and my supporter waka go, just two of us remain. I bin no get no idea wetin I enta.”

Melanie don dey use wheelchair since she dey three years afta doctors say she get inflammation of di spinal cord – condition wey dem dey call transverse myelitis. E give her paralysis for her legs and limit di movement of her arm. As adult she dey use support workers to help her wit daily task.

She bin dey live and work for Japan and now she be video editor, but romance bin no dey her agenda. “I ust tink am say if e happun, e happun.”

Dating and opening yourself to oda pipo fit feel intimidating and di world no to see pipo wey dey disabled as sexual beings.

According to UK Disability Survey, wey di goment publish for 2021, just 56% of di general public feel comfortable to dey for intimate relationship wit disable pesin.

Melanie, hersef, bin no sure how to begin am, so she leave and to chance.

Afta she sent email to Chayse, im arrange videocalls so dem go fit sabi each oda and discuss potential challenges.

"I ask one million questions," Melanie say: "You don ever use hoist before? Your apartment dey wheelchair accessible? How many times dey lift for your place dey break down?"

"About once every six months," Chayse reply.

For Melanie, Chayse answer bin dey good enough to book one session for apartment. And far from nervous, she carry di appointment come front, too excited to wait as im bin dey so warm and reassuring.

Legally, di arrangement between Melanie and Chayse dey genuine.

For Western Australia, under di Prostitution Act 2000, while e dey illegal to do sex work for street or to run brothel, prostitution no dey against di law and escort agencies dey legal. Dis dey different for different states for Australia wit Victoria, New South Wales and di Northern Territory decriminalising sex work.

E dey similar wit UK. While di exchange of sexual services for money legal for UK, apart from Northern Ireland, related activities like soliciting or running brothel no legal.

Wen Malenie reach Chayse house, di seriousness of di situation begin sink in.

"I know say di sexual knowledge pass me and e make me feel completely overwhelmed wit di expert wey dey standing in front of me."

But as di appointment dey go, Melanie get one revelation.

"I be expert wit disability and Chayse no get any idea. We end up laughing at each oda ignorance and naivety. Two hours later we become di best of buddies."

Chayse, wey don work for di industry for six years, say "sexpectations" na di biggest problem wen e come to new clients – pipo dey put too much pressure on guaranteeing "di big O".

"You have to find out wetin go work," just like any intimate relationship, im tok.

Before hiring Chayse, Melanie bin no get any idea how her body fit respond for intimate setting, weda she go fit dey in favourable position or weda tiredness go scata any enjoyment.

"Dat na di whole realse why I book Chayse," she tok. "I bin no wan go home wit one guy for bar and findout about dis tins com dey feel one kain, vulnerable and unsafe."

As e happun, she find say she fit achieve plenty enjoyment wit Chayse and bin no need to limit hersef.

Anoda wey she discover be say her legs fit dey unpredictable and dey "fling comot from bed" and she dey usually need to do physio session afterwards to refresh her limbs.

"I don work out say dem need to tie my leaf to di bed before we begin and den I no go need to worry," she tok.

Dis raise questions about power and control.

As a disabled woman wey dey inside house wey she no dey familiar, Melanie dey more vulnerable dan most.

"Na di first time I don ever dey naked in front of man, outside of a hospital," she say.

Chayse, wey don first work wit pipo wey don experience trauma, say, "creating safe welcoming space wia she dey in control," na im top priority.

But e no be just for di physical power imbalance wey di vulnerability dey. Disability fit sometimes turn pipo to small pikin and make dem feel unworthy of certain experience wey oda pipo dey see as just normal - some disabled people call dis internalised ableism.

Dis recent encounterdon give Melanie greater pwer for every aspect of her life.

"I know say by booking Chayse, and paying for di service, say I dey in control. I know say if Chayse treated me differently or do sometin wey I no like, im go stop."

She say if e bin happun, she know say she no go book am again.

But na money kill am.

"E cost thousands," Chayse say dryly of im 48-hour price. Im hourly rate na about 400 Australian dollars (£211).

Justifying di cost im say: "Wetin a lot of pipo no dey understand be say wen you dey see somebody for 48 hours, as rewarding as fit be, you no dey do anytin else wey you wan do wit your life."

But im add say im dey get plenty satisfaction from im work.

“Who no wan to help pipo try different tins? Why I no go fit dey dia for oda pipo wey need am and want and deserve to feel beautiful?"

"E hard not to fall in love wit Chayse," Melanie confess. "But I have to remind mysef say na professional relationship."

Melanie and Chayse don dey see each oda since January, but e just be about quick fix and sex.

In addition to providing im skills as sex worker, Chayse dey also tok to one dating coach to see how im go fit support Melanie navigate di "tango of dating" and help her build future romantic partnerships wit oda pipo.

"I dey find Chayse replacement. Somebody wey go love me and love wetin I like and dey do everytin for free," she say.

"I bin never tin say I go go on dating apps and tok to men online and now I dey do almost daily. My only regret be say I no do am since."

For Melanie, di experience dey more dan just sexual liberation and she don get so much out of dis experience and she believe say goment suppose pay and support disabled pipo to access sexual services.

"My confidence don grow wella, I dey happier dan I don ever dey and you no fit put price to dat life-changing experience."

And she bin dey excited to share her new experiences wit friends and family.

"I bin dey a bit embarrassed to say anything at first, but e make very serious difference for my life. I just no fit stop telling pipo and dem dey happy for me. I no fit wipe di smile comot from my face."