TO THE LATE
Ethel Afua Dede Amamatie Muange
Time is too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love, time is eternity.
Writing this tribute to you has been an incredibly painful journey. You were a truly amazing woman in so many ways and your departure has left waves of sorrow rippling through me. At the same time I am flooded with memories of your hope, your faith and your determination. and this will keep me strong until we meet again.
I have chosen to use the letters in the word "gratitude" to describe your many special qualities and the things about you, which I will miss:
G is for Generosity. As they say, "Friday?s child (Efua) is loving and giving" and you were the epitome of a giver. Of course I was a major beneficiary of your generosity. I can?t count the number of Ghanaian outfits you had made for me or the number of times I told you I needed something and it would arrive in the post a few days later, always in quantities much more than I needed. On what turned out to be your final trip here you brought me that beautiful Kente you had specially woven for my birthday. Sadly, you were not able to share my birthday with me but that Kente has a special meaning for me and I will treasure it forever.
R is for Religion which played a pivotal role in your life. You were truly a child of God - constantly praying and encouraging us all to do the same. Painful as it is for us, I believe that God rewarded you for your faithfulness by taking you from us to be with Him. In the vision that I saw of you crossing the river Jordan you looked joyful and as you turned and waved to me I knew you were telling me that you were glad to be with God- and I was reassured.
A is for achievement. You have left us a phenomenal legacy and our challenge now is to maintain and even enhance this legacy so that your name will live on.
T is for tradition. Maintaining tradition was of utmost importance to you. For me this was most in evidence each time you came to look after me and your grandchildren after I had given birth. In those months when it was just you and I, you gave me the strength, wisdom and confidence to deal with motherhood. I learnt so much about taking care of babies "Ghana-style" - from bathing them on the lap to moulding their heads. I remember how upset you were that you had missed Zachary?s circumcision as you had so much wanted to supervise tradition for the next generation.
I is for inspiration. You have been a beacon of encouragement and strength for numerous people and we all look to your life as inspiration of what one person can do. Thank you.
T is for all the tasty Ghanaian food that you made over the years. My favourite was of course Banku and okra soup, which you found out during my first visit to Koforidua. I recall very clearly that Sunday afternoon when I abandoned all attempts to impress you, pulled up my sleeve up and chopped two rounds. A very close second was your kaaklo and aboboi and it?s touching that this was the last dish you prepared with the intention that we would gather on that fateful Sunday to share it. Unfortunately God had other plans and took you away from us.
U is for unpretentiousness. Your humility was a very special quality, which shone through in everything you did. Along with this humility was your fierce independence and your desire not to be a burden on anyone. Even in dying you demonstrated this, by slipping away quietly and peacefully with no fuss. But Ma, how we wish we had had the opportunity to fuss over you one last time so that you could see how much we cared. But now it is too late.
D is for devotion. There are mothers and there are mothers, and then there is you. Your love and devotion to your children and grandchildren was totally incomprehensible. Your whole life revolved around them. So many people were simply spectators to this devotion but I was privileged to have been included within this inner circle of love. As I was writing this tribute, Valerie (my sister) called me and through tears told me how much she grieved for us and what we have lost - for she understood how much you loved us.
E is for enterprise. Trading was in your blood and everywhere you went you looked for opportunities to do deals. I recall you going shopping in New York and appearing after hours with enormous bags filled with goods to sell in Ghana ? the amazing thing was that you carried those heavy bags all the way home to save on the taxi-fare as this would have eaten into your profit! Amanua and Victor also tell the story of how you hid diamonds in the soles of their shoes and stuff banknotes in their long socks to avoid border controls, making them swelter in the African heat! This was you all over ? the intrepid, travelling trader ? building a future for your children.
Ma, I thank you for everything. In particular, I thank you for my dear husband, Victor and the person that he is, because of you. I miss you so much now and I will miss you forever. I will honour the promises I made to you with the hope that by so doing I will in some small way repay your kindness and love.
Ma, o ye wala don
Wo ojogban
TRIBUTE FROM CHILDREN TO THE LATE Ethel Afua Dede Amamatie Muange
Mama laughs our laughter, shed our tears, returns our love, and fear our fears.
She lives our joys, cares our cares and all our hopes and dreams she shares.
We reflect on, and pay tribute to our mother whose selfless devotion, love and friendship we will miss dearly.
Ethel, Sisi, Teacher, Mama Muange, Mama were all names and affections bestowed on our mother. Fortunately for us we could call her Mama our own, because she was loving, caring and inspiring, she created for us a garden, full with love, discipline and expectation that drove our hopes and aspirations.
Victor and I lived in a Garden of Love nurtured through sacrifice and devotion. In her garden she provided us with nourishment for physical strength and spiritual development. Mama we called her, ?Mama, can I have some provisions for schools?? ?Mama can I have a new outfit for church?? ?Mama can you send us some food by post? Like the Northern Star, her selfless love, devotion and sacrifice provided the foundation and stability for our aspiration. Victor recalls his confirmation at St Peter?s Secondary School, a few hours drive from Koforidua in the Kwahu Mountains. My mother had promised to come for the service although no other parent of the 50 students confirming was to attend. Of course he had announced to all his friends that his mother was coming with homemade food. As the day began without her Victor became the butt of all jokes. The service began with Victor and the others facing the altar, but unknown to him Mama had crept in quietly to sit in the front pew. As the communicants turned to face the congregation, there she sat, Mama like the Northern Star, ever present and reassuring.
My earliest recollection of her selfless devotion was when she came to visit me at Aburi Training College. She visited nearly every week on her way to Accra with homemade food, fruits and drinks and anything you could possible need in a boarding school. No wonder I was everyone?s favourite girl at school. I did not go un-noticed at home either, so when Victor was applying to sixth form he opted for a college in Koforidua so he could have the same privileges, I doubt if he ever ate at school. My mother would always sew the latest styles in Ghana and send them to Velda and I either by post or when she?s coming. I always had to model these outfits for her to crack a few jokes ? this time we did not have the chance to have a laugh.
In her Garden she taught us the meaning of love. The understanding and sharing of love by loving us earnestly so that today we would have stable and meaningful relationships with our partners, children and friends. Inevitably when we disobeyed or misbehaved, we felt the boundaries of the garden, her firm discipline. Like plants in the garden she would prune the leaves, keep them in check so they don?t grow out of shape and over extend their boundaries. She shaped our emotions and directed us with spiritual discipline. If she was to us the Northern Star then she taught us to look beyond and into the heavens, to God through the Bible as a manual to life. So we mourn you Mama, but you left us in good hands, that of the Lord Amighty.
Mama was always ready to come and look after her grandchildren. She took pride in supervising and maintaining traditions that should ensured our well being through the generations. On this last visit she came with Ghanaian food that could easily fill a store, she mailed some boxes, sent others by unaccompanied cargo and carried a few in her luggage ? so we can eat proper kontomere, not spinach, eat plantain, not ripe banana, eat fresh snails not escargot. We longed for her to come and stay, settle and to age gracefully among her children, but unfortunately ?death? with it?s cruel icy hands has ravaged our souls, taken her away from us. But as Christians we know that death has been defeated and she is resting peacefully with her maker.
Our mother it seemed also had so much love to give, to her sisters, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, the Church and the community as a whole. The affection "Sisi" must derive from this aspect of her persona. Sisi because every one in the family and the community was looking to her for direction, fairness and discipline. Sisi because she provided a sense of continuity, a pillar of strength and a beacon of leadership. So while we mourn Mama the community also mourns Sisi. Sisi for your grace and service to your family and our community.
After so much of a life with activity and excitement ageing was difficult phase to get through, and death might have been easier to contemplate. As a friend observed, Sisi has gained twice as many years from her 66years. She has worked her body to the fullest and the thought of her sitting idly was inconceivable she would rather die than to age sitting in a room, so like the road warrior, she travelled one more time to say goodbye to her beloved. The number of nights we stayed up as children worried and waiting for her car to arrive from Lome, Lagos, Monrovia, London or wherever the trade winds had taken her we cannot count. We dearly love you and we will take you back home, because you always came back.
We thank God for all you meant to us and all you gave us, we also thank Him that you have passed into the fullness of life, which He promised, by the Resurrection of Christ from the dead.
Eulogy For The Late Ethel Afua Dede Amamatie Muange ("Teacher" "Sisi")
"Her work on earth is finished, The Lord needs her more than we do,A great Ghanaian who made a sacrifice through her life for her family
A well travelled, hardworking, peace loving, family oriented business woman,
She will be solely missed dearly
Damirifa Due, Due ne amanehunu"
- Mr. CNN
Eulogy
Ethel Afua Dede Amamatie MUANGE was born on 22nd September 1939 in Koforidua, Ghana. She was the second child of the late Emmanuel Obadiah Muange and Mrs. Evelyn Lomokai Muange (Nee Lomotey). Ethel lived and worked in Koforidua all her life until her sudden death in London, on 21st November 2005 whilst visiting her beloved children and grandchildren. She was married to Gene James Sosah and they were blessed with two children, Christiana and Victor, and four grandchildren Chloe, Zachary, Aaron and Christabelle-Grace.
Throughout her 66 years, Ethel?s life was shaped around three main principles: progress through education, love through sacrifice, and reverence for the Almighty Father who makes everything possible and in whose arms she peacefully rests. We celebrate the life and work of Ethel for enriching the lives of many around her, in particular her children, her close family and all the children she tutored in primary school.
The early years for Ethel were typical for many post-world war and colonial era children in Ghana. She attended Koforidua Presbyterian Primary School, where her father was a Headteacher, and Akropong Girls Middle School. She then followed her father?s footsteps and attended Tamale Teacher Training College, where she qualified as a teacher in 1961. The seeds of progress through education were sown. Her first teaching post was at Aprapong Primary School, Suhum, she was later transferred to Koforidua where she pursued a further education at the Koforidua SDA Training College and was assigned to teach at Sarkodee Primary School, Koforidua Ada and several other schools. Before her retirement in 2000, "Teacher", as she was known in Koforidua, was teaching at the Children?s Ward of Koforidua Central Hospital. She remained in the Ghana Education Service for nearly 40 years, and retired as an Assistant Director. Teaching was the bread and butter of her livelihood, she encouraged all around her to study and to aim high in education.
?Teacher? or ?Sisi? to those close to her, had foresight and fortitude. She realised that teaching alone was not going to provide for the future she wanted her children and grand children, she therefore started trading to supplement her income. She travelled to the neighbouring countries to import products for sale in Koforidua. Ethel was a teacher in the morning and a businesswoman in the afternoon and on weekends. She imported sugar, flour, wax prints and generally anything that was in shortage in Ghana at the time. She was indeed a road warrior and soon extended her reach to Europe and the US. She involved her children in her business and exposed them to some of the challenges such as negotiating with market women or with customs officers to get goods across borders. Ethel had fortitude and a seemingly unyielding determination, and as someone observed, everyone that lived with Sisi demonstrates the same determination and courage to succeed.
Like a good Christian, Ethel demonstrated her love for her children through sacrifice and selfless devotion. Even in her last days she proved that love by bearing the seeds of death across the oceans to see her beloved children and grand children. Ethel?s sacrifice for her children through her hardwork can only be described as exceptional. She ensured the stability and foundation of her children?s future by any means necessary. For their welfare and success Ethel would have sacrificed her own life which she did on many occasions travelling to Lome or Lagos in cars and on roads that spelled significant danger. Nonetheless, her love and sacrifice went beyond her own children to several of her sisters, nieces and nephews. Through her sacrifice and selfless devotion Sisi was a leading light for her extended family, a towering pillar of strength that provided inspiration for the next generation and beyond. Sisi?s influence within the family was such that when her passing away was announced her mother also passed away a week after receiving the news. Sisi?s service to the family and community at large will be sorely missed.
Ethel had a very strong Christian upbringing that formed the basis for her spiritual growth. Her Christian values translated into every aspect of her life accomplishments; especially in her later years, the church, and her patronage of organisations within the Presbyterian Church of Koforidua, where she has worshipped for nearly sixty years. In her last years, the church became the main focus of her life and she took great comfort in the hymns and was a cheerleader at many a Harvest Celebration. One would observe that nearly every picture you saw of Sisi had a church in the background. She was evangelical about her faith.
Sisi?s passing away has caused a lot of grief and sorrow because we were all looking forward to sharing some good moments together. She has installed good values not only in her own children but also all the pupils she tutored in primary school. She demonstrated great courage and selfless devotion. In her last days when she realised the inevitable reach of mortality, she had the courage to discuss her wishes for her burial and to look beyond tomorrow for her grandchildren. She was only beginning to benefit from the fruits of her enterprise, but now the Good Lord says her time is up. It is time to meet her maker.
You came to say goodbye to your children and grand children, the Lord granted you that final wish, to see your beloved. It is our turn to say Good-Bye.
Good-bye!! Sisi, Good-bye Teacher, Goodbye Mama
Kusie ha mo
Mo ya wusi ke heghom
