I want to be a successful businessman, I want to be a journalist, I want to be a psychologist, I want to become a very rich man or woman. These are all dreams. These dreams keep us going and they do or at least, should encourage us not to give up in life until we have achieved them. I am not here to advice you on how to start your business, as I am sure you probably have heard a lot of things on that already. I want to rather share with you, some ten wisdom nuggets that I expect you to get familiar with if you ever intend to live your dream one day and for a long time, so that you are not taken by surprise.
• Not everybody is like you
first of all, you need to understand that the world consists of varying people from various backgrounds and upbringing. Therefore if you want to be that successful businessman you dream of, you have to learn to be open minded and to accept views that differ from yours, sometimes when it is even clear that the persons thoughts are clearly different from yours. I mean, the fact that you covered up for your colleague at the office when he or she was out at the wrong tie, should not deceive you into thinking that they would necessarily reciprocate the gesture in the future. And when this happens, be sure not to develop hard feelings toward the person, as that would not salvage the problem but rather go against you in the end. The famous Mahatma Gandhi is quoted to have said that ‘anger is like drinking poison and expecting another person to die’. If you understand and apply this principle carefully, you might not be too far off from being successful in life.
• To some people, you will never be good enough. And that’s okay
As you move on in life, you are going to meet a lot of people along the way. Soe of these people are going to love and cherish you even when you not at your best, some will stand by you till through thick and thin, others will show up once a while when they need help from you and others will never be positive about your capabilities irrespective of whatever feat you reach in life. The last category of people are those with which my interest lies, as they are the most powerful detractors you can ever meet in your life. To these particular people, you will simply never be good enough. But you have to be steadfast in your self-confidence and be sure that, you are doing exactly what it takes to bring your dreams to reality. It is easier to deal with these people if they happen to be acquaintances you make, as you can easily revoke whatever relationship you have with them. However, many a time, these people are people you cannot do away with (at least not overnight). This person may be your father, mother or perhaps older brother with whom you live in the same house. Since you cannot afford your own place yet, it means that you have to continue living with them. Or the person may be your boss who happens to be the best person in that field where you want to end up, hence, you cannot just quit this job or apprenticeship. What then do you do? Develop and maintain mental toughness. You can actually use these negative remarks as a propeller to launch you into greatness. Instead of brooding over all the negative things that these people say to you, let their words rather challenge you to succeed so that you can show them what you are made of. Push harder till you get to that point where even your enemies will clap for you. Yes. That’s the sort of spirit I am trying to preach to you
• It’s very normal to fail sometimes
Many people have achieved either very little or nothing at all in life, not because they were not good enough, but because they could not overcome the fear of failing. But I need you to understand today that, it is very much okay to fail at some point in life it is ok to be down. But staying down is the worst that can happen to you. Friends, some of the people we watch on TV and admire so much only tell us the part of their story, which they know you would love to hear. Some of them actually have failed at their endeavors time and over again. But what do they all have in common? Perseverance. I understand all the stigmatization and negative emotions that accompany failing. But if you ever forget any adage back in elementary school, it should not be that ‘experience is the best teacher’. Failing sometimes helps you to retrace your steps and to order them right so that the next time you make the attempt you will be inclined towards perfection. Failure also helps you to get rid of the tendency of pride setting in when you do great things. It reminds you that you are not as special as you probably think you are and therefore it teaches you to be sober and to learn more in your field of endeavor. Failing sometimes teaches you some critical lessons which you can never gain from pursuing any degree, even from the best of universities. Therefore, if you think that all failure does for you is to draw you back in life, then you must have a rethink about this position that you hold. You should therefore not spend precious time brooding about your failure, but rather, reflect on what you did not do right and correct these anomalies so that next try, you will achieve nothing short of perfection
• Master the art of self-discipline
Personally I think there are too many people who desire to make it big in life but are not in very good terms with the act of self-discipline. The term is defined as the ability you have to control and motivate yourself, stay on track and do what is right. Self-discipline is going to keep you in check and will make sure that you stay on the right path. Self-discipline means that you do not spend beyond your budget and not but things that are not within your financial capability. You have to know when your financial standing can afford a vacation trip to Dubai and when you should just settle for a local resort as well as when to put your vacation on hold altogether. Discipline also means that you should know when to do what. You cannot afford to be watching a movie at 10pm when you know you haven’t even started preparing the presentation you are scheduled to make at 8am the following morning. Being caught in such a situation means that you are not even disciplined enough. That you are disciplined means that you know when to play and when to get down to serious business.
• Don’t joke with your integrity
If you ever want to toy with anything in life, let it not be your integrity. Your integrity is where your level of honesty, values and moral standards are contained. You must know exactly what you represent as a person and never you compromise on thatyou must never throw people into a state that casts a dint of doubt on the trust they repose in you as well as the positive image they hold about you. Trust me, if people’s opinions about your life were not important, then school admissions, scholarships and major jobs would not require you to provide referees. Therefore, hold your integrity in high esteem so that you can have something to stand up for, lest you fall for anything
• Get ready to put away some of your favorite things in life
Many of us seem to have a funny outlook to life. We want new things to happen to us and yet we still would like to hold on to the old stuff which have outlived their purpose. Like I said previously, a real dream is one that should scare the dreamer. Therefore in order to attain this dream, you must be prepared to give up some things and some people on your way. Believe you me, some of those things are the very stumbling blocks that have been in your way. Even God who has all power had to give up his Son in order to gain salvation for mankind. The point here is that, a lot of sacrifices are going to be made along the way; friends would be lost, opportunities would be missed. But you have to stay put and see these things you lose as bait to get what it is you seek.
• You are not better than anybody
You probably may already be guilty of the tendency to think that you are better than people around you. I need you to put away this assumption and put on another one that says you are not better than anybody. Even if this is evident in some regards, put away the thought. Act as though you knew nothing and appreciate the value of every person around you. This way you will put yourself in a position where you will learn a lot from these people. But if you hold the notion that you are better than they are, it would impede your ability to learn from and share ideas with them. Mind you, the more you learn, the broader the scope of your knowledge.
• Some people are necessary evils
This is hard to accept. But the real truth is that there are some people who make u feel like throwing up, but you definitely cannot avoid them. These are the necessary evils of your life. This people may turn out to be your boss, your mother, your god father or some other person who for some reason, you cannot cut out from your life. You need to accept your fate and find a way to deal with such circumstances. Find your way around these people and refuse to get angry even when they piss you off. Rather, let their negative comments and sentiments provoke you to put in more effort. You definitely do not have any excuse to give your children if you fail. Therefore develop strategies to deal with these people. Most importantly, use the tool of smile to combat these people. When they say things to you that hurt most, just put on a smile (even if it’s fake). Smiles have been proven scientifically to improve mood instantly. Use it and let it keep you strong.
• Identify and accept your weaknesses before your detractors do so on your behalf
If you are the sort of person whose spirit is easily dampened by negative comments, then I suggest you take an inventory of all your shortcomings, accept them and begin to work on those you can before your detractors do so on your behalf. The point here is that, if I know already that I do not really have good looks, then I wouldn’t be so offended if someone tells me I am not beautiful. Such a comment would come to you as somebody repeating to you, what you know already. I watched a rap battle which featured American rapper Eminem once.
• Your dream should scare you, else it’s not worth it
So I ask you….how big is your dream? Normally, dreams have the power to wake you from a deep sleep, especially when it’s scary. Therefore, for your dream to qualify as a valid dream, the thought of it alone should send tremors and shivers down your spine. Mind you, I am not asking you to set unrealistic dreams, but rather, dreams that are worth your struggle. You are going to meet a lot of hurdles on your way to success, especially if you are starting from the scratch. You will be persecuted, accused and rejected at a point. You therefore, cannot go through all these trying stuff just for a small reward in the end. Let your dream be big enough, that attaining it would benefit your generations unend. Back it with effort and learn to pray. Trust me, you are on your path to success.
There are a lot of people who set out to achieve the same dreams you have set but unfortunately could not. This was not because they were not good enough, but they failed to understand petty life facts like those I have espoused above. Therefore I entreat you to learn these principles, get them into your DNA, and trust me when your face obstacles on your way, all you will do is smile and say, ‘I’m not moved’. #iMaginedTeam
By:
Nathan Qarboo Tetteh
(Motivational Speaker)
gracyboonathan@gmail.com
Phone: +233244903748
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