10 reasons why hating people is bad for you and how to handle it

We all know what it means to hate somebody or something; what most people do not know is the harm it does to us and the people around us.

Hating a person or thing means an intense feeling of dislike for the person or thing.

No one is born to hate another. We learn it from people.

We learn it from family members some of whom openly express their hatred for other people and from bullies in school and later at the workplace. We can also learn it from our peers who have this negative emotion.

Hatred is often the consequence of anger, jealousy, resentment and hostility. It does nobody any good.

We know from experience that it’s not only bad people who are hated. Even if you are doing good things, people will still hate you.

If you are a failure in life, people will hate you. They will call you a lazy person.

If you are successful, your success will attract hatred and jealousy from people. They will tell you that your success is annoying them and that you are a nuisance to them.

As indicated earlier, hatred does nobody any good. Here I unpack nine cogent reasons to stop hating people.

1. Hating people gives them power over your life

When you are hating people, you are unwittingly giving them power over your life.

The profound effects of it include your inability to eat and sleep well, it clouds your judgment besides increasing your blood pressure amongst others.

Dale Carnegie, a motivational expert wrote: “When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies will dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us.

Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hurt is turning out days and nights into a hellish turmoil.”

It does not make sense for you to be mentally tortured whilst the one you hate is living happily ever. And that is because he does not even know he’s being hated by you.

2. Hating people is deleterious to your health

Closely allied to the first one, is that hating people can gravely impair your own health as you may suffer some psychosomatic health challenges.

Hatred is like poison that can affect the physiological functioning of some vital organs of the body.

Pythagoras remarked, “Hate and fear breed a poison in the blood, which if continued, affects eyes, ears, nose and the organs of digestion. Therefore, it is not wise to hear and remember the unkind things others might say about you.”

3. Hating people is self punishment

Hating people is self-punishment. You can spend precious time thinking about the hated person. It’s self-inflicted torture.

This can take days, weeks, months or years. Life’s too short to waste it hating others.

4. It can prevent you from perceiving the truth

Your hatred for people can mar and disrupt your relationship and interactions with the people you hate.

It will not only blind you from seeing the value in the people you hate, but will equally twist your mind from perceiving their truth.

5. Hate can lead to needless violence

Extreme hatred by one ethnic or religious group against another can result in ethnic cleansing. This is where one group tries to wipe out another in the name of their tribe, deity, or God. Tribal or religious wars are a consequence of hatred.

It’s the same when one country sends its soldiers to invade another country resulting in mass killings and destruction of property. You fight and kill people you do not know or who have no any connections or relationships with you.

The war in Gaza between Israel and Hamas liberation fighters is a case in point.

With regards to hate crime, Benjamin Spock wrote: “Humans can be the most affectionate and altruistic of creatures, yet they’re potentially more vicious than any other. They are the only ones who can be persuaded to hate millions of their own kind whom they have never seen and to kill as many as they can lay their hands on in the name of their tribe or their God.”

6. Hate can be self-destructive

If you hate somebody and you have no means of taking revenge on him/her, you will hate yourself. You may have feelings of unworthiness or worthlessness.

It can trigger suicidal feelings to end it all. Of course this will be the wrong road to take in life.

7. Hating people can blind you to your own potential

Always remind yourself that you’re a unique person different than any other person. You’re on this green earth to share your God-given gifts with the world.

You’re here to make meaningful contributions to the human family. You cannot live your life fully when you are spending your precious time hating people.

It will blind you to your own potential. It will stop you from translating your ideas and dreams into reality.

Steve Maraboli put it succinctly when he said: “Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.”

You will be living a life less than you’re capable of if precious time is spent hating others. It’s all a waste of time and energy.

8. Hating people can lead to the murder of values

Hating people will not only lead to the murder of dreams but also values that were dear to your heart.

When hatred for somebody lingers on in your mind, it can cause you to do the unthinkable.

You and the one you hate are one through creation. Your life is as precious as the life of the one you hate.

Keeping hatred in your heart for too long will turn it into poison. You will overlook your values and behave aggressively towards others.

Your hatred for others can explode into violence, with its attendant repercussions.

9. Hating people can blind us to their value

We should never mock what God has created. Bible tells us God was pleased with everything he had created.

Every human being has value. When we hate people, it can blind us from what they can offer this world.

No man is useless if he lightens the burden of another. Even the one you are hating can be your life saver one day. He can add value and impact the lives of people around. Don’t hate people whom you do not know enough.

10. Hatred can make you insanely jealous of others

Sometimes we hate some people because of their enviable achievements. We become insanely jealous because you can’t be the person you hate or have the things they possess.

Hate one successful person and you develop hatred and envy for every other successful person. Anytime you see a person in his garden of blessings, you begin to hate that person. This can make you a chronic hater.

We’ve seen how hatred can be harmful to us. To the handling of it, we now turn.

1. Treat hatred with a compassionate heart

Hatred for hatred will leave both with regrets. Hatred is the mother of all evil.

If there were an end to hatred, the world would be heaven. Treat the person you hate with compassion.

This will have a positive influence on you and the one you hate. Instead of drawing swords, you will shake hands and hug each other.

2. Use love to conquer hate

The great Nelson Mandela once said, “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

As a very wise man observed, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.”

We should not be happy seeing people holding guns. We should be feeling happy seeing them shaking hands. It’s only love that can do that.

Jesus Christ taught us to love our enemies.

Martin Luther King Jr. once noted: “Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, “Love your enemies.” It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love you see. It is redemptive, and this why Jesus says love. There is something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies.”

This is a timeless principle of life worth embracing. Love can neutralize hatred without any bad effects.

3. Keep your heart free from hate and attract happiness

Happiness is the goal of life. Hating people can consume you and with it your peace and happiness.

Hating others is a distraction and a misdirection of time and energy.

Norman Vincent Peale, a religious teacher advises: “The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine. Forget self, think of others. Do as you would be done by. Try this for a week and you will be surprised."

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Think about the people you love and who love you.

4. Associate with positive people

Don’t allow hate feelings overwhelm you. Get surrounded by positive people who know where they’re going in life.

These are successful people who can help bring out the best in you.

You can learn their success habits and use them to improve your life. This will prevent you from wasting your time hating people.

5. Practice to avoid hating people

You need guidance on how to avoid the deadly habit of hating others. Dwight D. Eisenhower gives us a strategy to practice that is effective to help you avoid hating people.

He wrote, “I make it a practice to avoid hating anyone. If someone’s been guilty of despicable actions, especially toward me, I try to forget him or her. I used to follow a practice… somewhat contrived, I admit- to write the person’s name on a piece of scrap paper, drop it into the lowest drawer of my desk, and say to myself: “That finishes the incident, and so far as I’m concerned, that person. The drawer became over the years a sort of private wastebasket for crumbled up spite and discarded personalities. Besides, it seemed to be effective, and helped me avoid harbouring useless black feelings.” His advice is good for all of us.

In conclusion, hating people is a negative emotion that does nobody any good. It does more harm to the hater rather than the hated.

There are guidelines to help in the overcoming of hatred which have all been explained above.

Hatred is the mother of all evils. Let us avoid it to make the earth a bit like heaven.