3 Strategies of Becoming a True Friend to Someone

Man was created for both fellowship and companionship and anything that falls short of these is a recipe for unhappy life. One fulfills his/her fellowship mandate when s/he connects with his/her creator on a continuing basis. When this happens, his spiritual-self is nourished and revitalized to face-up the challenges of life. True happiness is not attained through material things but rather spiritual things. If it were so, the men and women who’re materially satisfied would not be craving for spiritual things to satisfy their thirst and hunger for things of spiritual dimension.

We achieve the role of companionship when we learn to consistently give off our best and self to the service of humanity. We were created for God and one another. And not the other way round. Many suicide notes talk of the want of love and companionship as the major reason for victims committing that ugly act. They needed someone to be there for them. Someone to stand up and talk for them. They needed true friends. We were all made in truth. And by extension, we all have what it takes to be a true friend to someone. However, we have allowed the pressures of the world to swallow our true and authentic-self for a false one just to satisfy our ego. And when one is finally transformed by the world, s/he gets labeled as a “false friend”, “bad friend”, and “irresponsible friend”. That’s not who you are. You’re better than these labels.

Your true-friendly nature would resurface if you would follow these 3 sieved strategies for becoming one to someone else. Remember: it’s in giving that one receives. That goes to say that, when you give that true-friendly nature to others, you will receive same in your life. The law on Sowing and Reaping is immutable and unnegotiable. One reaps the equal and more measure of whatever he sows. These strategies border around giving. Giving attention, love and money to others puts one in a position of expectation of similar and improved one from others.

1#: Listen:

It’s sad we don’t afford our ears the same attention we grant our mouths. The average man talks more than s/he listens. The least information we chance on, we become hysterical and talk so much instead of calming down to receive all the necessary information. If you want to be a true friend to others, learn to listen. Commit to them your ears. Let them know someone would listen to them when everyone else turns away from them. Some of the problems man faces in this world could be cured by listening. It doesn’t take plethora of solutions to remedy them. The ear. The connection the ear of a listener and the mouth of a complainant/aggrieved person creates is magical and healing. Listen to your spouse complain about the happenings of the day and only volunteer occasional “Oh really?”, “that’s ok”, and “sorry” to remind them of your attention. In times like this, it’s easy for others to stop the aggrieved mid-way and recite their autobiographies--how they faced similar situation blah-blah-blah-blah. They end up out-talking the aggrieved person. They don’t need histories of what you’ve gone through. If you feel your autobiography is ready, consider writing a book. Period! Don’t bother them. Listen and console with them.

2#: Care:

Others are convinced of our care for them when they’re convinced through our actions of our unconditional love for them. There are several ways one could show care to others especially those who’re in need of them. Showing concern about their welfare is paramount. It doesn’t take much to show others of your concern for them. It would only take the four magical words, “how are things going” to get the healing completely done. Let us get involved in their work and life. Once a while let us share our worries with them. This shouldn’t be often. Occasional visits and phone calls help to get people convinced of our love and care for them.

3#: Spend:

You cannot achieve 100% in caring for others when you are that man or woman who finds it difficult to devote your money. While money doesn’t bring about care and love, however, the right use of it leaves them behind wherever you go. Somethings have to be achieved through money. I am not suggesting you give money to your friends. No. However, an occasional gift and outing would help put you on a good footing with your friends. I could almost hear you say, “My friends are ‘chisel’ and would not want to spend a dime on me. Why should I care either?” How sad I am for you. Know: it takes one bold decision yet little from a true-friend to make others true too. Perhaps, your friends are thrifts in their spending because you are too. You’re a direct reflection of your closest friends. A friend told me that, “we’re the image in the mirror”. On another level, the fact that your spouse is working doesn’t mean you cannot buy him/her an occasional parcel. Some people learn from others what they don’t know for themselves. And sometimes, it takes little acts of generosity for others to know what they don’t know. Be that person to bring about a change in others. You cannot estimate the changes that would occur in the lives of your friends if you’d change.

As we struggle every day to build our Curriculum vitae on paper, others are fast recording an oral one about us by reading the details of our actions and inactions. Oft-times oral curriculum vitae has proven useful and a savior of many people landing them in their preferred jobs. You can do same by following the 3 strategies detailed above. Be true to your authentic self. Be a true-friend to someone else.