By Akadu Ntiriwa Mensema, Ph. D.; Post-Grad. Dipl.
ACT 1: PROLOGUE TO THIEVERY
People of Ghana our tractors were put on sale
On the auction block in the Slave Castle
Where Uncle Atta Mills is snorting tea in his
“Special Remote Control” office
But the public no dey hear about the national sale of tractors
Public no dey know about this sale
Police people no dey know
Soldier people no dey know
Teacher people no dey know
Nurse people no dey know
Fisherman people no dey know
Artisan people no dey know
Na farmer people no dey know
Market women people no dey know
Unbiz people no dey know
Kayayo people no dey know
So na who go buy the government tractors on the auction block?
Tax-payers’ tractors for sale
Donkome Donkome
Donkome Donkome
The tractors go sell like yoke-gari at Royal Ridge Palace
The tractors go sell like Nsawam bread
The tractors go sell like Mankesim-Junction Fante dokono
The tractors go sell like Bukom banku
The tractors go sell like Keta “school boys”
The Tractors go sell like face-the-wall in Mamobi
So na who go buy the government tractors on the auction block?
Tax-payers’ tractors for sale
While auctioneering houseflies of corruption dance on the auction block
ACT 2: AYARIGA THE POOR MAN WITH FIVE TRACTORS
Mills stopped at Ayariga’s palace
And mummified in perpetual confusion
Mills happily declared Ayariga’s palace as his THIRD HOME
Then Mills oiled the machine of corruption
And patented a batakari for Ayariga
Emblazoned with “Government Tractors for Sale
And only the Ayarigas must buy them”
Ayariga put on the batakari shirt
And rushed to count his money
Well, poor poor Ayariga
He is not like Alhaji Muntaka, our 2009 sports hero who plays for
NDC DIAPER STARS,
Who knows how to make girlfriends do the rounds while
Holding the Balls of the Ministry of Sports
Ayariga laments that the Mills regime has made him a TRUE CAPITALIST
After all Ayariga buys his own diapers
He buys his own cooking oil
He buys his own baby oil
He buys his own salt and pepper
Tax payers do not pay for his girlfriends to carry his balls around
ACT 3: AYARIGA MEETS ALL-WEATHER BAGBIN
Ayariga flies like a housefly chasing NPP scent no oh!
Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor
Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor
Ayariga arrives at Bagbin’s allotted colony of anything-goes
Bagbin misreads the sign on Ayariga’s batakari: FREE TRACTORS FOR SALE
And Bagbin dances to the music of the houseflies
Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor
Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor
Remember that Bagbin supports any policy issued by NPP, NDC and even DDT
That benefits his pockets, pants, or party
Na constitution na no constitution Bagbin misinterprets
Na tradition or no tradition, Bagbin go use am
Na Bagbin no de shake his head
Na Bagbin no dey wag his fingers
Na Bagbin only dey shake his full pocket
ACT 4: DEM ALL BE VAMPIRE POLITICIANS
Dem all be VAMPIRE politicians
Dem be ostensible SOCIALISTS and DEAD MARXISTS when poor
Dem be SOCIAL DEMOCRATS when yoke-gari-poverty is their friend
All vampire politicians steal in order to become CAPITALISTS
See dem dey fight over CARS
Because they have loans on a loan
They have free petrol
They have free drivers
They have per diem based on mileage travelled on
pot-holed roads
They have free POT-HOLED roads all to themselves
Vampire Politicians
We dey drain blood from Ghanaians
We dey drain oil from tax-payers’ tractors
Vampire politicians na toli oh toli NDC toli NPP toli
Mills says Muntaka didn’t buy diapers
That Muntaka only bought childish cotton encased in diaparized rubber
Surely Ayariga can buy five tractors
Yes, five government-owned tractors
One man one tractor
One Ayariga five tractors
And that is the magic of Ghanaian politicians
Dem broke or no broke them dey enjoy oh
Free tractors plus 50,000 dollars to buy a car
Well, country broke or not the vampires don’t care
ACT 5: EPILOGUE – ROYAL RIDGE PALACE LOSES ITS BOOMS
Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor
Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor, Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor
The tractors’ cacophonic beats have drowned boom boom boom
Boom boom at the Royal Ridge Palace
Where the King occupies three bungalows with nine toilets
But where the King preaches the philosophy of one person,
two buttocks, and one toilet
And where His Royal Silence has howled that
Whistleblowers Ampom and Odoom vomit money they didn’t chop
The NDC should sell Muntaka-in-Political Diapers T-Shirts
Kyinkyinga T-Shirts
Voodoo T-Shirts
Girl-friend holding balls T-Shirt
And Muntaka should keep his diapers to
drain Mills’ soiling image
Akadu N. Mensema is a Denkyira beauty. She is a trained oral historian and
sociologist, and is a Professor in the USA. She writes what critics have
called “populist hyperbolic, satirical” poetry. She can be reached at
akadumensema@yahoo.com
