A Satirical Poem: Vampire Politicians Eat State Tractors

By Akadu Ntiriwa Mensema, Ph. D.; Post-Grad. Dipl.

ACT 1: PROLOGUE TO THIEVERY





People of Ghana our tractors were put on sale


On the auction block in the Slave Castle


Where Uncle Atta Mills is snorting tea in his


“Special Remote Control” office





But the public no dey hear about the national sale of tractors


Public no dey know about this sale


Police people no dey know


Soldier people no dey know


Teacher people no dey know


Nurse people no dey know


Fisherman people no dey know


Artisan people no dey know


Na farmer people no dey know


Market women people no dey know


Unbiz people no dey know


Kayayo people no dey know





So na who go buy the government tractors on the auction block?


Tax-payers’ tractors for sale


Donkome Donkome


Donkome Donkome


The tractors go sell like yoke-gari at Royal Ridge Palace

The tractors go sell like Nsawam bread


The tractors go sell like Mankesim-Junction Fante dokono


The tractors go sell like Bukom banku


The tractors go sell like Keta “school boys”


The Tractors go sell like face-the-wall in Mamobi


So na who go buy the government tractors on the auction block?


Tax-payers’ tractors for sale


While auctioneering houseflies of corruption dance on the auction block





ACT 2: AYARIGA THE POOR MAN WITH FIVE TRACTORS





Mills stopped at Ayariga’s palace


And mummified in perpetual confusion


Mills happily declared Ayariga’s palace as his THIRD HOME


Then Mills oiled the machine of corruption


And patented a batakari for Ayariga


Emblazoned with “Government Tractors for Sale


And only the Ayarigas must buy them”


Ayariga put on the batakari shirt


And rushed to count his money


Well, poor poor Ayariga


He is not like Alhaji Muntaka, our 2009 sports hero who plays for


NDC DIAPER STARS,


Who knows how to make girlfriends do the rounds while


Holding the Balls of the Ministry of Sports


Ayariga laments that the Mills regime has made him a TRUE CAPITALIST

After all Ayariga buys his own diapers


He buys his own cooking oil


He buys his own baby oil


He buys his own salt and pepper


Tax payers do not pay for his girlfriends to carry his balls around





ACT 3: AYARIGA MEETS ALL-WEATHER BAGBIN





Ayariga flies like a housefly chasing NPP scent no oh!


Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor


Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor


Ayariga arrives at Bagbin’s allotted colony of anything-goes


Bagbin misreads the sign on Ayariga’s batakari: FREE TRACTORS FOR SALE


And Bagbin dances to the music of the houseflies


Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor


Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor


Remember that Bagbin supports any policy issued by NPP, NDC and even DDT


That benefits his pockets, pants, or party


Na constitution na no constitution Bagbin misinterprets


Na tradition or no tradition, Bagbin go use am


Na Bagbin no de shake his head


Na Bagbin no dey wag his fingers


Na Bagbin only dey shake his full pocket





ACT 4: DEM ALL BE VAMPIRE POLITICIANS


Dem all be VAMPIRE politicians

Dem be ostensible SOCIALISTS and DEAD MARXISTS when poor


Dem be SOCIAL DEMOCRATS when yoke-gari-poverty is their friend


All vampire politicians steal in order to become CAPITALISTS


See dem dey fight over CARS


Because they have loans on a loan


They have free petrol


They have free drivers


They have per diem based on mileage travelled on


pot-holed roads


They have free POT-HOLED roads all to themselves


Vampire Politicians


We dey drain blood from Ghanaians


We dey drain oil from tax-payers’ tractors


Vampire politicians na toli oh toli NDC toli NPP toli


Mills says Muntaka didn’t buy diapers


That Muntaka only bought childish cotton encased in diaparized rubber


Surely Ayariga can buy five tractors


Yes, five government-owned tractors


One man one tractor


One Ayariga five tractors


And that is the magic of Ghanaian politicians


Dem broke or no broke them dey enjoy oh


Free tractors plus 50,000 dollars to buy a car


Well, country broke or not the vampires don’t care





ACT 5: EPILOGUE – ROYAL RIDGE PALACE LOSES ITS BOOMS

Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor


Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor, Zig zag zig zag hooooo tractor


The tractors’ cacophonic beats have drowned boom boom boom


Boom boom at the Royal Ridge Palace


Where the King occupies three bungalows with nine toilets


But where the King preaches the philosophy of one person,


two buttocks, and one toilet


And where His Royal Silence has howled that


Whistleblowers Ampom and Odoom vomit money they didn’t chop


The NDC should sell Muntaka-in-Political Diapers T-Shirts


Kyinkyinga T-Shirts


Voodoo T-Shirts


Girl-friend holding balls T-Shirt


And Muntaka should keep his diapers to


drain Mills’ soiling image





Akadu N. Mensema is a Denkyira beauty. She is a trained oral historian and


sociologist, and is a Professor in the USA. She writes what critics have





called “populist hyperbolic, satirical” poetry. She can be reached at


akadumensema@yahoo.com