A letter to Afia: Your relationship is not for social media

Dear Afia,

My observation of relationships on social media has really necessitated the writing of this letter to you. As one takes his or her phone to catch a glimpse of the glamour on social media, one is likely to come across the beauteous and irresistible pictures of two people who seem to be in an everlasting love. Quite unfortunately, these glamorous relationships on social media lose their lustre in no time. This act has taken social media by storm over the past years. It has been on the increase with the incessant urge of individuals to feel validated by others.

A large number of people especially celebrities love posting intimate details about their love life on a public platform like social media because the number of likes they garner on each status and picture keeps on rising with time. This sign of acceptance from their fans on social media comes with an exhilarating joy and a high sense of self-fulfilment. This has now been carefully woven into our Ghanaian social fabric. This urge has seeped into other facets of our lives. As people publicly flaunt their love life on social media, it comes with grievous regrets and disappointments.

Afia, I do not want to be seen as a loudmouth opinionated bigot who considers himself as the only repository of knowledge on this matter. But as you keep on posting and flaunting your relationships on social media and make all the noise, it attracts a large number of people, partly people you have never met in your entire life. This unwanted audience, in the course of time, feels they have the permission to wholly participate in your relationship. An individual’s privacy is therefore at stake anytime there is a breakup in their relationships. They are therefore cross-examined by their social media fans on what led to the breakup.

Afia, quarrelling and little fights are inevitable in most relationships. The danger of publicly flaunting your love life on social media is that you will be deceived into washing your ‘dirty linen in public’ through social media anytime there is some sort of dispute in the relationship. Gradually, you feel answerable to your social media fans should something goes wrong in the relationship all because they’ve been part of the whole relationship right from day one.

By not flaunting your love for your partner is not a cynical ploy to endorse promiscuity. Intimate relationships should be built between two individuals and not a whole social media community.

Afia, keep issues in your relationship private without keeping your partner a secret. There is always a difference between privacy and secrecy. The more people concentrate on their online persona; it virtually takes away the qualities that make them unique. Your relationship should be surrounded with an aura of mystery and a sense of privacy.

Afia, many social media users are pregnant with so many opinions which are sometimes good and bad. These social media users are usually quick to pass judgement on all issues that are not evenly related to them. Relationships that were built strongly in to the heavens came crashing down on earth through unsavoury comments and opinions by most people on social media. It is your relationship and not an annual party for an entire community: always keep it to yourself and save it from social media likes and views.

Yours truly,

Elvis.

AFIA IS A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATIONS AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE CONSIDERED AS SUCH.