Be a parent with a difference

A parent according to the Wordweb dictionary is a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child. A profession is an occupation requiring special education (especially in the liberal arts or sciences).

Parenting is the noblest profession in the world. Giving birth does not automatically make one a parent. Some end up being impregnators and baby carriers not parents. There is more to parenting than delivering a baby.

A child is the most precious gift that comes from procreation. Young adults who are not mature can give birth too. Mentally deranged people can and give birth too. Abled-bodied couples may have a challenge conceiving talk less giving birth.

An appropriate environment must be created for the child to thrive. Sowing seeds in fertile soils, fertilising, pruning and watering makes plants grow better and bear healthy fruits.

The same applies in animal rearing, where with more knowledgeable and pragmatic action animals grow healthier and more profitable.

In times past when the extended family system was functioning properly, a senior and very experienced member of the takes full responsibility shaping in all facets of their lives.

This went a long way to cover the inadequacies the young couples had as far raising responsible children is concerned. Apart from the senior most member there are also others who helped.

Indeed it could well be the reason they say,’ it takes a village to raise a child’.

Lately, we have largely departed from this noble characteristic. Due to urbanisation and to some extent westernisation, as a people we have become more individualistic and given more weight to the nuclear family.

To have privacy and so on, just as this come with it positives, there are disadvantages such as losing out on the support of the experience and wisdom in child upbringing which they the seniors have gathered over the years. You can’t eat your cake and have it.

The way to make up this lost opportunity is to LEARN HOW TO A PARENT with vigour, both father and mother. Teachers have to train to be professionals, doctors have train to be professionals, journalists, sport coaches you name the profession and there is the need to train to be the cutting edge.

Most often in professional bodies one is to study and earn a certain qualification to be granted practicing licence. The requirements put some compulsion in the mix if and only if one wants to practice.

There are instances where even after training and gaining licence, to renew the licence after a stipulated period, one must show evidence of a certain amount of refresher courses before renewal is granted.

Ironically, there is no such for the noblest profession on earth, which is child upbringing or rearing. Sad! Isn’t it? So any parent worth his/her sort must make it a point to read voraciously books on child psychology, physiology, child development, how to books on child upbringing.

Apart from that they must have program for listening to and consulting experts every aspect of child development, joining paid courses, and attending conferences. Seeking the advice of those who are more experienced and referring to the stories in the scriptures of successful families and also contemporary times.

All of the above put together will help you to know clearly the extent of work – vis-a-vis the sacrifices in terms of time, money etc, there is to be made. There is no gain in saying that, ’If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.’

Yes, you may not require a licence to be a parent. However, you will be questioned as to how you took care of the gems and precious gifts that our Maker favoured you with.

So take things seriously and do it with all the professionalism that it deserves. Your reward will be manifold in this world and the next.

Rayhann Shaban

Parent–Child Relationship Coach

Co-founder of Advocate Development Networks [ ADN ]

rayhannshaban@hotmail.com

0243414669/0200225235