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Being overly kind to others can be disastrous to you – Personal experience (Part Two)

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Mon, 15 Feb 2021 Source: Rockson Adofo

Regrettably, the gene of “overly kindness”, if any does exist, is devastatingly reigning in both my nuclear and extended families. As noted, being overly kind inhibits one’s progress in life, especially, within the larger Ghanaian community where one’s overly kindness is taken for their stupidity but not only weakness.

Throughout my life, I have always been around to assist those that approach me for help. I have also reached out to those deemed to need assistance of diverse nature. While a few of those helped did, or do, appreciate the help so offered, the majority of them turn out not only as ungrateful but go out to soil your reputation.

I can hardly understand this absurd attitude by the Ghanaian, especially the Akans. If you can’t appreciate the help offered to you by way of saying thank you to the helper, why should you go out to defame him or her? Does it make any sense?

I had not only helped some fellow Ghanaians come abroad but assisted them to acquire their legal residence abroad. I used my precious time, energy and at times little money but at zero cost to those needing help, to help some Ghanaians obtain their urgent heart desires.

Feeding somebody is not a problem at all hence nothing worthy to mention, although it comes at a cost to you over here in the Whiteman’s land. I shall leave out the feeding.

Is it not painful that you enter into agreement with someone, part with money to the person at zero interest, on the term that the person pays you back your money when all is well with him or her?

You go further to accommodate and feed the person for say five years minimum, without a contribution of one Euro, penny or pesewa from the person. In the end, the person refuses to pay you back the money so lent to him or her and moves out of your house and in a matter of months, starts acquiring their own properties without ever acknowledging the good you did to them?

It is not all those that I have helped who had been shockingly ungrateful. A few of them had, or have, appreciated my kindness to them. To those people, I say, I am very delighted.

I will not detail the assistance offered to the following people in whom I am well pleased. They greatly appreciated any help, little or big as it was, that I offered to them. Mahammudu (Maama) Bello (deceased), Anas aka Baba, Frank aka Chef, Acheampong aka I.K, Antwi aka Tailor and Sister Amankwaa. May God richly bless them.

The above-mentioned persons had not only appreciated the help so offered to them but had in a way reciprocated or tried to repay the kindness shown to them.

Why are the northerners often unlike the Akans when you do them good? They always remember the good you’ve done to them and may never go out to tarnish your reputation, looking down upon you, even if they later become more successful in life than you?

There is one mixed-race (black and white) female colleague. In my absence and prior to becoming known to her, other colleagues had painted me black to her and her other previously unknown colleagues. Because of my then strictness as a disciplinarian, they had portrayed me as a monster to her in my absence. However, when she got to know me, not only did she tell me all the negatives that had been said about me to her but took me as her father.

She has since been in contact with me, treating and respecting me as her father even though she is no longer at where I came into contact with her. She has left the place for the past six years. I am being a bit evasive her by not disclosing the person’s name and where we met all for specific confidential reasons as pertained in the Whiteman’s land. She is known to my wife and did attend my daughter’s wedding.

Again, there is another purely Whiteman who has taken me as his father and respects me as such. He has appreciated my advice, guidance and writing of letters or filling of forms for him as the need arises, so much so that he goes the extra mile to offer me help even to my resistance and surprise. He presents me with gifts that I least expect. When I try to turn the offers down, he becomes dejected. He does other things for me. For some peculiar reasons, I cannot mention his name here.

Now, the question is, why are Ghanaians, especially the Akans, or to be more precise, the Ashantis, often ungrateful to the point of undermining the very people that help them? Do we not have an adage that goes, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”? Why are we then that ungrateful, malicious and ill-wishers towards those that do us good?

It is said that too much of everything is bad. Therefore, being overly generous to be taken for a fool is bad. It is never too late to change. If I curtail my offer of assistance to people from today forward, it is because I am changing, or I have changed.

A word to the wise is sufficient.

To be continued.

Columnist: Rockson Adofo