Can we just be men and women again?

Men would never be complete without the irreplaceable contribution of women to the thriving of the human race and maybe that is one major reason we should forever hold our women in high esteem and let them feel a deep sense of importance to us, while we continue to play our significant roles in making life cozy and fulfilling for them. Men and women should therefore be living in peaceful co-existence, completing each other in many beautiful ways as the only two species that make up the human race. However, 21st century humans are busying ourselves in an attempt to in all means possible, prove a certain perceived sense of superiority and dominance, which in my opinion, is a very pathetic situation. Our generation is one that has been bedeviled by too much availability of knowledge which has consequentially become a recipe for degenerating actual knowledge into an ‘illusion of knowledge’, because we appear to be unable to sieve chaff from real knowledge. I mean, what are we trying to prove? That women are more important than men? Or that men are the head of the family and therefore should exert absolute control? Or perhaps, the most dangerous of it all, a man has no right over a woman because “we all are the same” or perhaps that the woman has the final say because women earn more money these days. In fact, this publication is no attempt to malign any sex against the other, but rather to drive home a major point, that extremist advocacy for women empowerment or male dominance has led to a rapid increase in divorces, break ups and unhappy marriages globally, because sexes are beginning to interchange responsibilities, thereby creating a certain feeling of competition between men and women which has ended up doing more harm to our family systems than good.

Women by their nature, are meant to be unique in their own capacity, bringing to bare their naturally endowed managerial and intelligence prowess, while playing a complimentary role for the male race as well. But we have ended up molding modern day women into some defensive robots who would cease every little opportunity to prove that men and women are the same or vice versa. The effect is that we are beginning to produce a lot of women who fit into false socially perceived ideas of ideal womanhood, while we forget the real purpose and uniqueness that women were designed to offer. The thing about Africans is that, we copy everything hook, line and sinker, and since critical thinking is not something that we find very pleasant in our society, we hardly take time off to carefully evaluate the consequences of decisions that we make and things that we copy from the western world. We watch movies and we cultivate a desire to act and talk in a certain way. We watch fictional telenovelas and we begin to make nonsensical demands from our partners, throwing away relationships that took years to build down the drain as though it were nothing at all. In fact, the major problem that most women of African descent face is one of inferiority complex, rather than real evidence-based advocacy for equal rights. I understand that you are highly educated and you can quote the constitution back to back, but it’s not every petty situation that needs a reaction in order to prove that you are an ‘independent woman’. Sometimes silence is golden. I have been to places and heard people ask ‘do you know who I am?’ and I have often wondered what is wrong with us. men are always quick to remind their wives that they are the heads of the family and I ask myself, for what? To remind her that you are supposed to have full authority? These things are killing us. Does tolerance even mean anything to us at all? Nobody is showing respect and regard anymore. Lets look at something striking about women; they have a unique ability to keep the home, business and other responsibilities together even where men have clearly failed. I have always been of the view that for instance, institutions that are managed by women often perform better than those whose, high offices are occupied by men. Women are so meticulous and diligent in the discharge of their duties, that though they take more time because they want to be more careful, their works often yield great results. For these, we would always celebrate our women. Nonetheless, these skills and expertise which women naturally possess is not to prove a point for men to know that yes, women have arrived. But rather, to harness those abilities towards building a better society for us all to live in. This is no competition as to who is the better sex, among men and women. Our society today appears to be sick and perhaps that is the main reason, everything is beginning to lose its value. While cooking is a wifely duty to the household, the new age woman sees cooking for the home as an act of submission into slavery and would therefore draw up a chart indicating days when she would cook and other days when the man should also do the cooking, in order to prove feminists theories that men and women are the same or women are superior to men. We do not need all these. Real men already appreciate the value of a woman and you do not need theories to prove a point.

This paper is in no way trying to suggest that men are superior to women or the other way round, but rather trying to bring to our general awareness that in as much as both genders are equal, we differ in our responsibilities. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man cooking for the family to eat if he has a more flexible work schedule than his wife, which allows him to get home earlier. But the point here is that, a woman cooking for the family is in no way an act of slavery. My greatest fear is that if we continue to encourage this kind of culture which is creeping into our society, we would get to appoint where our women would get lost and would totally deviate from their core responsibilities in the family setup because instead of investing precious time into becoming better versions of ourselves, we would rather keep busying ourselves in our quest to become like men (which is not the calling of our women). We need to understand that, women were not made to do everything a man can do, but rather to do everything a man CANNOT do. Personally, I believe that women should strive to achieve greater heights in life, be it in the corporate world, school, church or whichever location or level they find themselves. Women should pursue advanced education and become better versions of themselves. However, it would do society more good if our women could rather invest their vast pool of knowledge acquired into generation of innovative ideas that can be employed while running their homes and affairs, rather than becoming some forms of militants as though women and men were engaged in a war to prove who is superior to the other. Marriages can barely last three months these days and my phone battery probably lasts longer than our new school relationships. People who are supposed to be supporting and motivating each other to reach for greatness in life, rather see the whole situation as some jungle in which we play by the survival of the fittest rule, and therefore we must always strive to prove our intellect to outwit the other in a quest to show that we are really on top.

I would like to remind men reading this, that loving your partner is not stupidity and for women to also bear in mind that reasonable submission is not slavery at all. Nothing motivates a man to like a woman, more than the respect she accords him, while women on their part, also adore genuine love and care, beyond all things. My dear men and women, are these two basic responsibilities too much below us that we find it so difficult to perform? I do not think so. Let us begin to rethink our ways and retrace our steps. Take a critical look and you will find that life is indeed a simple process and it is the unnecessary sophistications we have attached to it, that have accounted for the woes that have befallen us today. Let men be loving husbands and let women be submissive wives. This is the key to a healthy and happy family system. Mind you, happy families produce happy people. Before anything else, we are first men and women. #imaginedteam

By:

Nathan Qarboo Tetteh (Motivational Speaker/ Life Coach) +233244903748 gracyboonathan@gmail.com