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Coronavirus: A short-time in the church

Mawuli Zogbenu   Opinion.jpeg Mawuli Zogbenu

Sun, 7 Jun 2020 Source: Mawuli Zogbenu

At least if there is anything the face mask is doing to help me, then it is adding value to me, negatively. I swerved one of those girls who asked for momo and I refused to give her. She saw me and looked at me some kan way whiles I was wearing my mask. He then asked ‘please are you Mawuli? I said NO’ and drove away with swag and speed. Hahaaa!

Happy birthday to you o, Dr Frank Odoom, former CEO of Quality Insurance and former Director-General of SSNIT. He was born just yesterday, June 4th! I am still wondering why this day, Sir. Dr. Odoom, in my opinion, is one of the most respected ‘silent’ CEOs Ghana has ever had! If in doubt, go to SSNIT and ask about Dr Frank Odoom and his ‘guy-guy’ walking with excellent expertise and competence in delivery…any time. Back at QIC, he taught us some serious principles of life which are guiding some of us today to a very large extent – ‘RAIDS’:

1. Respect for all (R)

2. Accountability (A)

3. Integrity (I)

4. Dependence on God (D)

5. Skills Development, the right ones if you want to be on top of your game (S)

All these he abbreviated as RAIDS. He also indicated that you can have all the principles above but if you lack principle Number 3, forget it, you are finished! True or False?

Dr. Frank Odoom, please this is not a tribute to you o; it’s a lullaby to celebrate you and your birthday which fell on June 4th yesterday! What a day to be born whether it is before or after the eyi….! Hahahahaha! His favourite sports is tennis; not the one he can play o; the one he likes watching on TV. Roger Fedrer or so is his favourite or, Sar?

Me and him have so many virtues in common except that he is a Mathematician and an Actuary by training. In fact, he was once the President of the Actuarial Society of Ghana. He knows Maths roff! And me, the direct opposite. Last week, Makafui came to ask me: ‘Daddy, please what is ‘Pie R Square?’ and I’ve been avoiding her till now. Me? Mathematics? Kai!

Do you remember when I was doing an advanced degree some years back? I told you but many of you including me forget things easily. That is why some of you have stopped using the sanitizer thinking ‘oh nothing will happen’. You no see pepper before er. The dry and red one called akwele waabi! Yooo! Go ahead!

Maths was my headache and I was compulsorily forced to do Quantitative here. You sabi that Mathematics that has some letter ‘S’ with a very long tail inside plentey. Ehern! Sitting next to me in class was a lady working with a bank.

After the lecturer, Professor something something set the question on the board, the calm looking lady tapped me and said: “Mawuli, there is something wrong with the question”. Ei! Common me, how am I supposed to know? Let us assume that the question was even correct kraa, me and Tordia Asantey will still get the answer wrong p3333…still!

But because she was the shy type, she couldn’t say it so I offered to say it by raising my ‘useless’ hand up. You see me and my too-known things? ‘Sir, please there is something wrong with the question’. Then he asked: “what is wrong with the question please?’.

Without having a single clue, I just sat down kpoo immediately and pointed to the lady and said she was the one who said I should say it – my loud ‘useless’ mouth. Dr. Rafique Daudi of Metropolitan Life Ghana, I hope you remember that sharp-brain lady. Hehehe!

Then my course mates started laughing at me but I no mind them sef. Fortunately the lecturer saved the situation by asking the lady in a very calm tone after he had looked at the question again on the board for a few seconds.

He turned to her and asked her: ‘Young lady, please what did you study for your first degree?’ ‘Sir, please Civil Engineering at Tek’, she answered nervously. Then the lecturer nodded and responded: “You are right, there is indeed something wrong with the question”. Come and see applause. Charlie, people know book o. Initially I thought I was the one they were applauding but apuuuu!

Ei last 2 week’s article that went viral titled ‘Side Chics Stock Market Drops by 84%’ as a result of the COVID-19 attracted some ‘unnecessary’ comments many of which were analyses from members of the top echelon of Academia. The one that ‘killed’ me kraa was from a renowned Economics University Lecturer.

With some emotional analysis in them: ‘Nice piece Mawuli. For the side chic stock market to dip by 84%, hmm! Very serious oo. This will take more than 20 years to recover; for which by that time most of the current investors will lose the appetite for such an investment.

Let me assume that wives are also listed, the best investment for now. The risk is also very very down. Many cases zero risk.’

Columnist: Mawuli Zogbenu