Elephant Ostriches

“These are the days when men of all social disciplines and all political faiths seek the comfortable and the accepted; when the man of controversy is looked upon as a disturbing influence; when originality is taken to be a mark of instability; and when, in minor modification of the scriptural parable, the bland lead the bland.”

- John Kenneth Galbraith, Canadian-born American Economist.

Have you ever seen an elephant digging a hole in order to bury its head? Guess you have not. Okay, let’s try again. Can you imagine an elephant digging a hole to bury its head in? Can u imagine the size of that hole? Well, look no further. A mighty hole is being dug right close to you, right now, as you read this! My manager, being the typical Ghanaian wife that she is, has issued a fatwa that having lost my faith completely, it was enough to nurse my wounds at home and keep my thoughts to myself, especially on the state of Ogyakrom’s elephantiasis. The fatwa only allowed for public musings on her and the two musketeers. I could even define my daily struggles with old men who ought to know better but show nothing of that. But I was not to muse about the creeping pandemic. I am therefore pleading that on one tells her I have breached her fatwa. The ‘net is not her friend and she won’t know unless you become an okro-mouth!!! I am compelled to ventilate due to the impending Armageddon that’s about to engulf a certain domesticated elephant and to which none but the elephant is oblivious to. How can an elephant survive in the forest after being domesticated?

Compare the sizes of the heads of the ostrich and that of the Osono. The ostrich proverbially digs a hole and buries its head in times of wahala and chooses to show its bottom. Picture the elephant trying to dig a hole to bury its head in the sand. To my messed up mind, it will be near impossible. My prognosis is that the elephant by definition will have to stare issues in the face and basically face up to it. In Ogyakrom today, what’s happening?

‘Asonomma’ are so busy doing deeds that they don’t seem to know or care about the sentiments of the very same hot men who carried them on the back of ‘opipipiipi’ to the Castle. People are so busy trying to be Presidents that they don’t even see that gradually, the NPP is becoming like the NDC in its last days. Everyone, including the venerable Ben Ephson knows that the NPP won the elections because of the votes of the floaters. Foot soldiers of the Osono deferred their pay in order to bring the Osono from the bush. They worked for the NPP for the love of party and country, hooked on the intoxicating fumes of the promises of positive change, dished amidst the melodies of awurade kasa. Under the umbrella at the time, their people had also decided that “le hwua de kwasia, Ce nest pas tia so deux, cest tia so une” (forgive my French). To them, their big people had so enjoyed the booty and promptly forgotten them that they would demand all their back pay and take front pay, side pay and kickbacks. In long, their message was simple: “unless you cough up some of the money lodged in your throat, no footwork, period”! If you call them soldiers, you got to pay them! That’s what caused the umbrella the throne in 2000! The reverse is playing itself out in the NPP now now now!!!

Almighty Yeshua Amashua (respect to the Archbishop!) has a very sophisticated way of playing all of us, when we begin to think that we have arrived! “He makes all things beautiful in His Time”. Today, NPP foot soldiers are also demanding their pound of flesh. Unless you drop some dough, none is prepared to move. While you slept over the past Osono years, a quiet evolution has taken place in Ghanaian politics. The NPP has become the NDC!? And instead of that waking up the gamekeepers to the realities on the ground that people are getting increasingly disillusioned, Osono has ordered fresh excavation equipment and promptly begun digging one giant hole for the elephant to bury its head! Ebei, is this love that am feeling? And by the way, who chose the word “kukrudu” as a slogan? Do they know that it may come back to haunt them? Kukrudu means an earthquake or earth tremor. Over the past few months, with the tectonic plates sifting all over the place, we have heard and seen reports of kukrudu in disparate places such as Indonesia, Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, Solomon Islands, Japan etc. We sit in an earthquake zone and the gamekeepers’ slogan is “kukrudu”. No wonder the prayer warriors of the NDC have been imploring Yeshua Amashua to send us, not an earthquake, but a small tremor bii. Just to show the commentariat and the masses that “kukrudu, enye adepa!”. Where was I?

Yes, the NPP rode on the back of perceptions to the Castle. The Osono encouraged perceptions at the time in order to score political points. Having been assured that the Ghanaian has a 24-hour memory span and generally does not recollect anything beyond the previous 24 hours, the Osono proceeded to promise paradise in Ogyakrom. I have always maintained that we have a paradox on our hands. The Osono without the promises and declarations could make a fine argument as being one of the best governments in Ogyakrom. Sadly, that’s without the promises and if the manifesto is hidden. Matched against the manifesto and the promises and the long talk, ouch, that’s where the pains of positive change are felt, Frankly, a feature of life in Ogyakrom now, and I don’t know whether you have also noticed same, is that, when you step out, you cant help but notice that apart from people who may have their fingers in the pot, its becoming very rare to find people ready, willing and able to defend the Osono and its policies. I dare say that it is only the elephant ostriches that don’t see what’s happening. Out there in the field, where elections are won, the Osono is fast losing the battle for the hearts and minds. Osono’s claim to fame was its distinction from the Umbrella in all respects. Toady, Ogyakromanians increasingly find it difficult to make that distinction. When the distinction is fudged, the NDC will be the net gainer. Positive change means that the things we used to see or hear, we’d see and hear them no more. Listen to the news. Don’t you have a sense of déjà vu? Sometimes you feel like you have heard the news before. If you have ever felt that way, you aint wrong. You may have indeed heard it before , just that where there was a papa jay, there is a K4 and where there was a Konadu, there is a Theresa. Positive change means a 180 degree turn, not a 360 degree turn.

Yet, my people call this phenomenon a perception. I say they are all ELEPHANT OSTRICHES! The love of the people is fickle. Now the Osono seems to be supplying on a daily basis, ample reasons why they ought not to love you anymore. The earlier you stop digging in, the better for you. The energy crisis, the Ghana@ 50 hullaboutwho, nepotism and corruption in high places and that phrase that’s evaporated from presidential lexicons… “zero tolerance for corruption” etc are but a few of the “perceptions” that may send the Osono back to the bush. By the way, Mr. President should fire whoever put that phrase “zero tolerance for corruption” in his inaugural speech. I wonder why they keep doing that to him. Recently they slotted in the fact that the energy crisis would be tackled by defined actions within a fortnight. The damage control ops are still on-going on that score. The ugly beauty contest is another turnoff for the floaters but a cocoa season for the parasites. Why the President would allow people we have tasked with responsibilities to walk around with state assets on presidential campaigns beats my imagination. For a party that used to whine that the NDC was using state assets to campaign, what do we see today? Not a single person has lost his job as a result of the energy crisis. Out there, the “perception” is that its chop time. Have you seen that advert in the newspapers on drug trafficking? Well, still stealing our money? Good luck!

Perceptions as the Osono should know, hurt politically and the perception now is that the NPP is a promise and fail party. Every leader of a household who has fundamental financial problems in his house but goes out on a spending binge can’t say he’s an agya pa! Never forget that Uncle Fiifi is a formidable personality. The NDC also doesn’t seem to have internal problems to the degree of the NPP. To the NDC, their problem is external, that is the floating voters. If only they can get their act together and exorcise the ghosts, what a season Ogyakrom will witness. The NDC never thought losing was a possibility until it was sprung on them. The Osono is doing the self-same things. These days we hear language used by the dying NDC: “we can’t lose”. We are on the ground”. Ostrich talk, that!!! The typical Ghanaian is an “afraid man”. He will look left and right and weigh the implications of his actions before he does them. If he has to express his mind publicly and that will cost him or his family, he will smile a Pentecostal smile and tell you exactly what you want to hear. You have to create an enabling environment for the Ghanaian to really express what he feels. The ballot box creates that environment perfectly. In there, no one will destroy his business or mark him down for destruction. No one will walk to the Police and demand his arrest for daring to speak. Ghanaians have shown they aint no dumbos. They are the smartest politically minded Africans you would ever find. The NDC lived to tell the tale of the mulling they received at the hands of these seeming docile people. What about you?

The possibility that the NPP will lose the election is very real. And it grows by the day! Instead of letting that possibility focus minds, energies are rather being expended on pedicures and manicures for the beauty contest. How come the tummy always wins in Africa? The NPP has deep internal problems which will be exacerbated by the beauty contest. Then the party has to deal with the externals who are already disillusioned. Teachers… gone. Health workers… gone. The people… going? Most of even the discerning that I have come across are sending signals that they may stay at home during the 2008 elections. After, all the value is the same! I have labeled that psychological feeling that someone has shortchanged us as “positive blues”. We took a wrong junction on the road to positive change. The earlier the lost road map is found, the better. Otherwise JAK may have to see JJ for lessons in insomnia-management, ex-post Castle. If you think its impossible, think again. Uncle Fiifi may become the next President and then the pain becomes just unbearable for you because you cant sleep again. If you say am making noise, wait till you hear the latest release from A-plus. “Asem kese eba a, na franka si so!!!! But again, why do I bother myself so? People are so busy eating that they don’t hear anymore.

“Healey’s first law of politics: when you’re in a hole, stop digging”. - Denis Healey, British Labour politician

P/S: I never knew I had the spirit of prophecy until earlier this morning when I was checking my folder and saw this piece. I wrote and posted this article on April 3, 2007. Yewura, if only you had listened. I told you Uncle Fiifi is formidable. The man who was said to be on his death bed is now giving the mighty elephant sleepless nights? I am indeed grateful that God had given Ghana the best Christmas gift in years. A parliament where agreements will not be stampeded through passage in a manner where even the so-called parties to the agreement dispute their status. A parliament where the other side will be consulted and their views taken on board before decisions are made. An end to rubber stamping by parliament. An end to the opposition having their say and the government having its way. An end to certificate of urgency where there were no emergencies. An end to impunity on all fronts. A little breathing space for state institutions to function properly as they can be defended strongly by the other side. A chance for the law to assure equality. A chance for the Parliament to wake up and live!!!

So please go to church or the mosque next time round and say a prayer of thanks to God for His boundless mercies. And don’t be bothered by any talk that Uncle Fiifi’s ascension to the Presidency means scary times for you and me. Remember, if Nana wins, we will be okay. If Uncle Fiifi wins, I bet my bottom dollar that we will be okay too. Thank God for Ghana!

God Bless Our Homeland Ghana And make our Nation Great and Strong!!!

JOE ABOAGYE Debrah Esq. www.osimidiaries.blogspot.com