Ghanaians cannot eat and drink Mahama’s dog’s humility

Human beings are very funny indeed. Not quite long ago,the Parliamentary Majority Leader, Mr. Alban Bagbin went down on all two knees and managed to induce Mr. Osei Kyei Mensah-Bonsu, the Parliamentary Minority Leader, and the latter’s deputy, Mr. Dominic Nitiwul, to follow him to his Nadowli Constituency, in the Upper-West Region, to vigorously campaign for the man popularly known as the Parliamentary Methuselah.

I am still racking up my mind and trying to figure out precisely what motivated Messrs. Mensah-Bonsu and Nitiwul to hit the campaign trail for their political adversary across the aisle, knowing full well that their own main opposition New Patriotic Party (NPP) had fielded a candidate who was determined to unseat the putatively jaded Mr. Bagbin in order to infuse our increasingly lethargic national assembly with fresh and creative minds.

What I also vividly remember, to my utter horror was to hear these two NPP parliamentary top-dogs plead earnestly for Mr. Bagbin to be retained in the august House, because the jaded political hack had some experience that would significantly detract from the quality of the day-to-day proceedings of the House were he to be afforded the boot.

I am still trying to figure out what quality of parliamentary proceedings or culture these two gentlemen were talking about. It clearly appears that shared class interests and cronyism, in the playbooks of Messrs. Mensah-Bonsu and Nitiwul, supersede those of their party and the people who sent them to our national assembly to represent their interests and aspirations.

Well, as fate would have it, Messrs. Mensah-Bonsu and Nitiwul managed to successfully help Mr. Bagbin dodge the bullet discharged by his NDC parliamentary primary opponent.

Now, as with all such cases, the Majority Leader has become so smug with his own self-importance that he has decided to bat for the man who, not very long ago, Mr. Bagbin publicly described as narcissistic, inaccessible, haughty and too single-minded for him to continue to support at the helm of our national affairs. I am here, of course, referring to President John Dramani Mahama.

Now, his internal arch-nemesis of yesteryear would have Ghanaians believe that Dramani is so humble in demeanor and deportment as to make the late Asomdwoehene (King-of-Peace) seem like the congenitally and pathologically unruly Chairman Jerry John Rawlings.

Well, the Nadowli Methuselah did not mention any names, but the allusion was all-too-glaring and unmistakable for the target to have been inscrutably shrouded in clouds of speculation. The problem that Mr. Bagbin has in carrying this bad joke, though, is that it simply does not gibe with what Ghanaians already know about the Chief Resident of the Flagstaff House.

Which is why Mr. Bagbin’s prediction of a one-touch victory for Little Dramani on November 7 can only be taken with wistful humor. This is the prediction of the utterly desperate hoping for a pat on the back from the politically bumbling Bole-Bamboi petty chieftain. This joke does not gibe with reality because not quite a while ago, the Dumsorhene (King-of-Darkness or erratic power supply) warned Ghanaian citizens to steer clear of any urge or temptation to criticize him for his dismal administrative performance.

He would go on to say that about the only Ghanaians qualified to criticize his job performance were former President John Agyekum-Kufuor and Chairman Jerry John Rawlings. And this is the man that Mr. Bagbin would have Ghanaians heartily laud, or even celebrate, for being exceptionally humble. Needless to say, if President Mahama does not epitomize the very height of arrogance, I don’t know who else does. For Mr. Bagbin, though, it is crystal clear that the definition of 'humility' is from the perspective of a narcissist.

In other words, it well appears that the Nadowli Methuselah has fallen madly in love with Mr. Mahama because the latter has made him begin to have confidence in himself once again. “The President listens to my criticism with great humility,” Mr. Bagbin was widely quoted by the media the other day. And this is all well and good.

Still, what is even more significant to ask here is this: At the end of the day, how many jobs would such canine humility have created for the average unemployed degree holders in Ghanaian? Which is why I often prefer to go back to my friend Sergeant Abongo Frafra for my ready choice of ripostes. “Na humility Ghanaians for chop for supper, Mr. Bagbin?”