Lust Or Love?

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 Source: Virgo

We grew up together my sister and I, we even shared one single bedroom despite the fact that she was a bit older than me. I would sometimes walk into our bedroom whilst she was busy clothing herself after having showered herself and she wont utter a word of rebuke or objection and so it became something quite normal and acceptable for me to witness her nakedness without feeling anything sexual, but then again why should I, after all I was her brother and she was my sister and brothers and sisters are not supposed to feel anything sexual for each other, right?

And so when I started cultivating this sexual attraction for my sister, I rebuked my self, but that didn't not stop me from making my advances towards her. I made several attempts on numerous occasions to sleep next to her on her bed, after the lights in our house had gone out and the sound of the day had given way to the silence, only to meet her rejection. She even threatened to tell our parents about what I was doing, but she never got so far into telling anyone about anything, but anyway it didn't take long before both of us were into it together in secret.

Feelings are strange, because what makes them right are also what makes them wrong, but who decides what should be labelled right or wrong, she was sister, but who says that I couldn't fall in love with my sister as her brother and who says that every other man accept me should have the right to that privilege?

Both of us knew that what we were doing was socially unacceptable, but could feelings of sexual attraction be judged morally wrong, just because it involves two siblings, I asked her, but she couldn't answer.

And what about love, I asked and she said what about it and I said well, if a brother and sister could love one another without the general public calling it incestuous love, then why the sudden protest from the same old public should there be rumours of sex between a brother and his own very sister, why can't they just accept it?

Incest is defined as sexual relations between persons who are so closely related, that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom and considered a statutory crime.

Now, I truly cared about my sister in my heart of hearts and I sincerely meant her no harm, I also believe that she also felt the same way about me, otherwise she could've told our parents about my strange behaviour from the very get go, however I felt that society was doing us great unjust by condemning our kind of love, since love in my opinion doesn't forbid anyone from loving anybody, either closely related or not to be considered a statutory crime.

The definition of a statutory crime according to the dictionary is a harmful comission of an immoral behaviour which is punishable under law.

But then I asked myself, is it the morals which make the man or is the man who makes the morals?

And if it's the man who makes the morals, then is it safe to say that there might be others who simply don't agree with the morals of right and wrong and therefore should be left alone to their own dictates?

My sister and I might have been wrong by loving each other that way, but then again when is loving somebody wrong?

Time has drifted my sister and I apart, she is now happily married to a man who doesn't know about her incestuous past and I'm equally married to a lovely lady as well.

However when I'm alone by myself, my thoughts start to wander back to that distant place, where the love I knew was not ethically right, wrong or morally justified, just love and all for the sake of it or was it lust, I just don't know, but who is to say?

Columnist: Virgo