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Opinions Sun, 9 Mar 2014

Hope for the "Animiakrom" Citizens as ....

... His Majesty the King "Odisika Kalabuleman" Capitulates

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Krrrrr krrrrr; krrrrr, krrrrr. Hello, First Lady, how are you? Can I help you, says the wife of His Majesty the King – "Odisika Kalabuleman? Can I speak with His Majesty the King, says First Lady? What is it regarding, if I may ask?

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His Majesty the King whispers into the ears of his wife, "tell her I am sleeping" She is so annoying. He is deep asleep. Can I take any message for him, says the King’s wife. No, I shall call back later, says First Lady.

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Five hours later, the phone sounds. His Majesty the King answers it. Why do you keep disturbing me with incessant phone calls? Do you not realise that God has already scuppered our ill-intentioned plan to enthrone your sight-defective "obo3fa dadeEfa" as the paramount chief of your "Animiakrom?" Try to get over the pain of having not been able to impose him on the "Animiakromians". I am sick and tired of your resolute determination to have your way in everything, all of the time. His Majesty the King hangs up the phone on her.

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Fuming, First Lady rings again. When the King answers it, First Lady warns him never again to behave so disrespectfully towards her or he must be prepared to face sour consequences. You took bribe from me to carry out an agreed specific job to perfection. The task has not been executed according as agreed and you still do not want me to discuss it. Either you cough up the money you have fraudulently taken from me or I punch holes in your supposedly rhino skin that you have developed. If you play with me, I will show you that "khaki no be leather" as Nigerians say, said the furious First Lady.

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Please don’t mention it in public that you bribed me as you said about your kingmakers, the cause of our present dilemma and disgrace. I am sick and tired of your threats. You lured me into doing the unthinkable. God and the spirits are tormenting me in my sleep with nightmares. I wish you were suffering the same fate as I am to appreciate the seriousness of the crime we have committed against God, the true royal family, the spirits of the departed souls, the stools that we occupy and the lesser gods.

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His Majesty the King, "Odisika Kalabuleman" started weeping over the phone. I have no peace of mind. Not only the "Animiakromians" but also the people of "Kasepreko" and almost the entire citizens of "Ahufo3" are teasing and cursing me. Some of them even wish me dead.

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It is only God who can save me from total collapse but on condition that I refrain from my waywardness. I shall have to reciprocate the respect the "Animiakromians" and the true royals had given me until I started taxing their patience by playing on their intelligence. I shall tell the truth no matter how much pressure is brought to bear upon me by First Lady.

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His Majesty the King called all the chiefs under him to an urgent meeting. Chiefs, be ready to suffer disgrace for the part you played in the failed attempt to impose the not too famous and popular spectacle-wearing "half- stone half-metal" man on the inhabitants of "Animiakrom". We have been too greedy to be of any use to our subjects especially, to the inhabitants of "Animiakrom"

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I normally have no authority over the people of "Animiakrom", especially, their land. However, insatiable greediness blinded my reason. I fell for the bait when First Lady spoke sweet words into my ears, cuddled me, offered me bribe and made me fantastic promises. I then decided to portray myself as though I wield the power of death and life over their fate. Now, here I am today, sitting drenched with shame.

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I decree that we tell the truth when the case is called for hearing. Let First Lady proceed to burn the sea if she feels like, when nothing, but the truth is told in the coming days.

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Over to you, the people of "Animiakrom". God is with you. Seize the opportunity to rid yourselves of the tyrant First Lady and her conniving traditional heads. What are the rich sons and daughters of "Animiakrom" along with the learned ones doing to save the land of their birth from total ruin under the hands of rogues?

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I dedicate this fiction to one Madam Brago in Italy.

Columnist: Adofo, Rockson