GhanaWeb TV



'I fetched water'

Mawuli Zogbenu 1212.jpeg Mawuli Zogbenu is the author

Sat, 15 Oct 2022 Source: Mawuli Zogbenu

‘Some things are better not said; you only realise this truth soon after saying them’. It is the reason I don’t like saying things like ‘Life is short’. Even if you have to live a thousand years, so may it be until God changes the ‘constitution’.

Why keep reminding God that life is short on your whatsapp statuses every now and then? Who doesn’t know? Please let’s not be reminding God; He knows already.

A friend of mine has such a thing on his status and died suddenly just last week. I’m not suggesting that the cause of her death was what she had posted o but all I want to suggest is to remind us that the power of life and death is in the tongue and by extension what we post on our social media handles, sometimes.

Berekisu, how are you? This girl sells credit or what we call mobile phone units. I like seeing what she has in front of her that I can buy airtime credit up to GHC100 in a day. Because I liked seeing more of her, I’d go and buy credit even if I didn’t need it, recharge and then go back.

I used to buy water from this same house of Berikisu. I filled every container in my house including those of my landlady! One day, I was going to buy credit again and it was a man – Berikisu’s father who responded to the knock on the gate. I lied to him I wanted to buy ‘akonfem’ knowing they don’t sell that.

Her father gave me a long direction as to where I could get akonfem oblivious of the fact that, what I wanted was Berikisu and not credit or akonfem. ‘Berikisu left last night for abroad’, was what I heard her father telling somebody on phone.

My dreams of ‘bad mind’ were dashed at this point! Sin, when not manifest, appears to be a regret but in the long run, you would notice that ‘sin really fascinates and assasinates’! Be guided! It is weekend again and I am feeling ‘high’ as usual as I have learned to enjoy every single moment of my existence even if I had to run in athletic competitions and chop last.

I used to run very fast in athletic competitions. “Zogbenu oo, Zogbenu…” became a common chorus as the crowd from Anunmle chanted knowing the latest kid on the block was going to win the 100-meter race at Kotobaabi aka Agbavana 1-55. This school is an all-inclusive cluster of schools popularly referred to as the headquarters of all cytos in Ghana.

“Don’t go because somebody would use ‘tsakatsu’ or ‘tukpe’ to kill you if you won a race”, my old lady would always advise.

Cyto sweet pass Montessori oo. When our friends in Montessori, (in fact they couldn’t make friends with we poor souls in cyto) are singing ‘black black…black sheep, have you any wool…’ in a very organized fashion, we in Cyto at Lagos Town and Akoto Lante will go like ‘Laaapita lor pita lor pita lorr…‘Laaapita lor pita lor pita lorr … Pita Zamraman na Zamramana.. Mamprobi alorrr!’ Alorrr….’ amidst drumming and dancing in no particular order with a lot of chaos, drama and confusion! Ei! It is only in cyto that that bully boy would punch you in the stomach and expect that you should be the one to say ‘sorry’ or else. Hahahahaha! Poverty is wicked and can kill!

All the schools in the Ayawaso district converged at Agbavana 1-55 annually to partake in the schools competition. The dry graveled park was the most preferred even though Anunmle, Alogboshie (that hidden town behind Guiinees Ghana, Achimota) and Akweteyman schools had green parks but we’ve got to respect the Headquarters – Agbavana!

I had just returned from the British School of Lome. Everybody thought the guys who sojourned in Togo for a while played better football or had some of the ‘wildest’ football skills that could make Lionel Messi a division 3 player! But I told them, I was always first in the 100 meter race at my British School of Lome after spending only two terms there.

My only fight with the tutors at the time was that I kept asking them what a British School was doing in Lome. Me and the problems I brought home to everybody including myself... hmmm. I was sacked from that school but I never told my peers at Anunmle my ‘predicaments’ oo; I told them I was on transfer as the transfer window was opened. Period!

Anunmle PE Tutors, Mr Ben Tetteh and our Ga Teacher Awula Neequaye (not too sure if she is still on this earth) gave me a chance with the level of confidence they had in me, and for that matter never even tried me in some ‘mock race’ prior to the Super Zonals to see if I was up to the task. They just sent me straight to Kotobaabi to go and run. Ei, deep in my heart, I knew I was going to disappoint these people.

Oh yes, indeed it was. ‘Anumaaa… gesidi…ready…pi’. Hei, I was in my second gear in the first lane. The ‘Zogbenu’ cheers and choruses were deafening. The drums were under pressure from the drummers and jama singers.

Anyway, at this point, I would be surprised if you think I had won anything of value. If so, then you have a problem. I managed to finish the race though but never returned to ‘the dressing room’. Kai! Me? Run again? Anunmle must be joking!

Thoughts of death scare me oo especially as I am growing old without any visionable vision. I have only 14 years or so to retire and guess what? I just realized that even if I am paid on the average of GHC20,000 on the average per month for the next 240 months, I would still not be a billionaire oo. I better start thinking of doing my own business and employ Anane as my board chairman oo. I want to be a billionaire too and I can’t keep working for my employer forever.

Next two years, I would go and buy dried fish from Akosombo and come and be supplying restaurants in Accra and Koforidua. I will get money oo. Even when I am dead and gone, my children will continue but for my employer, as soon as I approach 59 they would send me pension notification letter. In fact not even for life, it ends at age 60. Dasoorrrr!

I suwear, anybody who steals this my business idea will meet me at Dzorwulu Jss park and I will beat him or her biaa. Hahaaa!

Wait when I start you can copy. Is that not what some of us do in GH? Let somebody do the thinking and everybody would join and ‘spoil’ the business. Do your own thinking er! Ahhhh! What’s that? Copy copy everywhere! No wonder some copycats fail because it is not their idea. Idea thieves are in town! Someone started his or her small meat pie business in traffic and now everybody wants to do some…ohhhhhhhh! Shame!

Respect to you, koko king boss! Very soon I would do some but this time, it would be ‘waakye king’. We shall see!

Merry Christmas to you all or? Because it is not Christmas yet, you refused to say ‘The same to you er’? we shall see! Hahahahaha!

Columnist: Mawuli Zogbenu