Infoboxx GH Awards 2014

Compiled and Edited by Nana A Damoah, Author (I Speak of Ghana)

Contributors: George Sam Jnr, Obaapanyin Acquaah, Freda Nyarkoa Nyarko, Tendana Hambali Dauda, Winfred Ofori, Kwame Gyata, Akwasi Yiadom, Louis Adu-Amoah, Emmanuel Boakye, Lambert Coffie Atsivor, Manasseh Awuni Azure, Qwarm Erzuah, Linda Narh, Kwame Gyata, Abena Magis, AR Zakari, Fiifi Okyne, Clarence Amoateng, Yvonne Boateng, Eddie Ameh Snr

1. Sikamanian of the Year: Posthumous award to Komla Dumor. Even in death, you made us proud. You inspired us all. Rest in peace.

2. Most Popular Job: Social media footsoldier, also known as Internet Warrior. They are like the email spammers and 419-ners: they are perpetually present and changing their methods but their bad grammar always gives them away.

3. The most anti-climax moment of the Year: The announcement by Ayittey Powers that he wasn’t going to fight Bukom Banku again, after all the hype.

4. Setay Waa Moment of the Year: The rolling out of the 200 new senior secondary schools by end of Quarter 1, 2014.

5. Moving target of the Year: The start of operation at the Atuobo Gas Procesing Plant.

6. Elusive deadline of the Year: The end of dumsor. So elusive that it led to the split between Energy and Power, allowing the element of time to complete the equation. In physics, power is the rate of doing work. It is equivalent to an amount of energy consumed per unit time. This same elusive deadline led to the sacking of the Electricity Comes and Goes Managing Director, a feat even Headmaster Koku couldn’t accomplish.

7. Tragedies of the Year: The deaths of Komla Dumor and PV Obeng. Komla’s death left us all numb and PV’s death even affected the release of the Senchi Report. May they rest in perfect.

8. The most debated word: Crisis. Other close synonyms were challenge and difficulties. Kwaku Baako summarises it all when he says ‘a collection of challenges constitutes a crisis’! Case closed, anaa? ?

9. The most popular words: Tweaa and Occupy.

10. The most popular phrase: “Are you my co-equal?”, “Kwasia bi nti”, “Never mind” and “Yentie Obiaa” are the contenders. The winner is Yentie Obiaa.

11. Sound bite of the Year: It is all adidigya, as played on Citi FM.

12. Physical assault of the Year: Muntari greeting Mr. Parker's face with the full ferocious force of his Italian-polished konongo palms.

13. Health campaigner of the Year: Kobby Blay, with is #?Ebolawatch??

14. Chief Mischief Officer [CMO] of the Year (FB): Evron Hughes. We hail you sah!

15. Miracle of the Year: Gold (dust?) turning into Cocaine

16. Beard of the Year: No challenger. And no one should accuse me of nepotism. This goes to Uncle Dr ABS Oko Rick R Vanderpuije. Selikem Geni’s beard is just an Ehalakasaic imitation of Uncle ABS’ and Atseo Kofi didn’t sustain his to the end of the year.

17. Most Popular Politician: Tweea DCE, Gabriel Barima

18. Sacking of the Year: We have two joint winners. The first one is the dismissal of the Tweea DCE after, being he was first pardoned and, bouyed by the President’s usage of the word ‘tweea’ in Parliament, granting an interview to Joy FM in which he said he was proud of what he said since it had made him popular. He even said he had become a tourist commodity. This circus had a happy ending, and the Akans call it ‘san b? ware me’ (come back and marry me). The second one is not purely as sacking as it can also be classified as a Seetay Waa moment in a way, but this was the re-assignment of Joseph Yamin and Elvis Afriyie Ankrah. I like the new way of re-shuffling in Ghana. In June, we had one man shuffled between three jobs within a month. This month, we have had a sacked person un-sacked and re-sacked within two days. Ah, life is tasty. In Sikaman.

19. Publicist of the Year: We have a clear winner, the one and only Awareness-General Francis Kennedy Ocloo, for raising awareness on every topic under the sun. He also trended during the year under review with the hashtag #?PostLikeFoOcloo??

20. Emerging Economists of the Year: Anita De Sooso and Abraham Amaliba for using cutting-edge research to diagnose the causes of the depreciation of the Ghana cedi against the major currencies. The theorems have been captured in the award-winning article: “Of High-Rise Buildings and Low-Rise Dwarfs: Africanomics and the Falling Cedi”.

21. Most illusive/ hyped fight of the year: Ayittey Powers vrs Bukom Banku.

22. The most “popular” Bible verse: Acts 16:33, (APV) – For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

23. Discovery of the Year: Demons inside Ayittey Powers’ hair. Followed by discovery, after months of searching, of one commodity whose price is going down: our purchasing power.

24. Tweet of the Year: We have a tie here, both tweets by Ghana’s foreign minister in respect of the Occupy Flagstaff House demonstration on 1 July. She tweeted: “Occupy Flagstaff House Crowd. The numbers were...well never mind” and “Their social media campaign was much more effective than the actual turnout”. The counter-tweets were equally memorable. The two top responses were: “ur campaign was better than ur governance” and “if govt acted with same swiftness with which you tweeted about #?OccupyFlagStaffHouse?? turn out, Gh wud have been a beta place”. Ghana dey be!

25. Twitter Exchange of the Year: The twitspat between the @JDMahama and @USEmbassyGhana, as follows:

@JDMahama: As a people, we have had to make sacrifices. I wish to assure you that the results of the sacrifices would begin to show very soon.

@USEmbassyGhana: @JDMahama and what sacrifices are you making? Don’t tell me that pay cut.

End of story. Okay, there was an apology. And a further twitspat.

26. Quote of the Year: “I bring adama and shaving stick to ring. after I beat Ayitey, i use adama make him hair black, then I shave am. Nonsense hair cut. Just do sakora. because of he hair I want beat am waa. He head make me remember kokonte and groundnut soup. I don’t like kokonte.” ~ Bukom Banku

27. Hair Cut of the Year: Dr. JK Kwakye's island capo style!

28. Retreat of the Year: Senchi Economic Forum. It was so comprehensively attended that at least one participant invited herself.

29. New company of the Year: Street Naming Ghana Limited (SNGL), a subsidiary of the Jospong Group of Companies.

30. Electronic item of the Quarter: Tweeting devices. You want to know the reason? Well, never mind. At least you could afford to buy one.

31. Money transfer of the Quarter: $3.5 million dollars airlifted to Brazil to pay the Black Stars. ?

32. Indigenous app of the Quarter: Dumsor. Available for download via Google Play. Most effective against ECG. Oware3D is a close second.

33. Comforter of the Year: Teddy bear. Especially of the Ministerial type.

34. Grammatical Arrangement of the Year: Trees under schools, School of Trees, eeeerrr ceteraaaaa.

35. Alumnus of the Year: Hon Ameen Salifu of LSE (Attempted category).

36. Migrants of the Year: Black Stars supporters who sought asylum in Brazil. According to Brother Nimay, most of them were soldiers who used their feet.

37. Blog/Website of the Year: YesiYesi - www.yesiyesighana.com. Remember how their story on Yvonne Nelson and cocoa butter went viral? They have given us some amazing stories this year!

38. Most scarce product: Electricity. The closest contender is swivel chairs; we have to import honorable brands from China. It is very closely followed by money. Especially in Ghana cedi. Fuel gets an honorable mention.

39. Most Promising Prophet: The prophet who prophesied that Ghana will make it out of the group stage at the World cup. When the prophecy didn’t come through, he said the confusion in the camp of the Black Stars affected the fulfilment of the prophecy.

40. Alleged Transformation of the Year: Ama Boahemaa. Changing complexion, allegedly through drinking milk.

41. Song of the Quarter: Daddy Lumba’s Yentie Obiaa. ?

42. Most Refreshing drink of the Year: Coconut juice ala Brazil.

43. Most Difficult Item to Price: Corn balls in tweed jacket. Aka Kenkey de la Brazila.

44. Bluetooth Earpiece Model of the Year: Vaticana Lordy Hama.

45. Kissing Couple of the Year: John Boye and his $100,000 in Brazil.

46. Mathematical equation of the year: Quoefficent of 7.

47. Research Finding of the Year: Too much fufu, banku and kokonte can lead to cancer (Justice Joe Appiah, MP for Ablekuma North).

48. Prison Graduate of the Year: Bossman Osei–Hyiamang Jnr (District Chief Executive Officer of Twifo Atti-Morkwa) for spending 14 days at Ankaful Prison.

49. Boys Abr? Coach of the Year (Foreign Category): Arsene Wenger of Arsenal

50. Boys Abr? Coach of the Year (Local Category): David Moyes of Hearts of Oak. Ei, sorry, I meant Polo.

51. Ghost seer of the year: Koku Anyidoho for consulting with the late President Mills' ghost about his political ambitions.

52. Hashtag of the Year: #?BringBackOurGirls . #?OccupyGhana? gets an honourable mention.?

53. Poster of the Year: "Bright Future", displayed by an MP after the reading of the 2015 budget statement in Parliament. Poster was upside down. True state of the future.

54. NGO of the Year: Nana Konadu’s Party – NDP. It is on leave, right?

55. The most difficult item to maintain: The Tema motorway. Road, streetlights, bridges…the only aspect going well on the Tema motorway is the collection of tolls.

56. News Portal with Most Errors: Peacefmonline.com. Even the headlines have mistakes.

57. Blowman of the Year: Uncle Gbv-Lo. Aka Demolition Man. Uncle ABS ala Trotro driver on Sanitation Day is worthy of mention.

58. Chess Player of the Year: Prof Ernest Aryeetey, VC of University of Ghana.

59. Traffic Planner of the Year: Prof Ernest Aryeetey, VC of University of Ghana.

60. Campaign of the Year: The anti-bribery campaign launched by the IGP with the police supposed to wear armbands with the inscription “I do not receive bribes”. What about T&T? The campaign of against corruption led by #OoccupyGhana? is a close second.

61. Synonym of the Year: T&T, for Bribe.

62. The Most Ironical Synonyms: SADA and Sadder.

63. Headline of the Year: “MPs Collect Bribes”.

64. Navigator of the Year: Hon Alban S Bagbin. The number of times he changed his position on the MP bribe allegations in a day was enough to utilise all the routes around the Tetteh-Quarshie Interchange.

65. Educational Institution of the Year: Dayspring Christian University. Motto: Gye Doctorate Pa Hyew!

66. Promise of the Year: A serious tie between the promise by Deputy Education Minister Sam Okudzeto Ablakwa, that by end of March 2014, the government will roll out 100 new Senior Secondary schools, meaning work will start on 100 sites, and the emphatic promise by President Mahama at the beginning of the new year, reported on the frontpage of The Daily Graphic of Tuesday 1 January 2014 that there were “Better Times Ahead”. The promise by the new ECOWAS Chairman, President J D Mahama, to dismantle Boko Haram is worthy of mention.

67. Most Popular Corporate Entity of the Year: ECG. No size, De-Lighting Their Customers.

68. Most Popular Twitterer (person who tweets) of the Year: Hanna Tetteh

69. Flight of the Year: BS 2014 - made to carry the $3m (or more) to the Black Stars. Made global headlines and may well give our ministers and Stars cameo appearances in Hollywood. Oseeey Ghana!

70. Tourist of the Year: Kofi Dubai. He even found time to visit Ghana! He is closely followed by Kwasi Ahwoi and Elvis Afriyie Ankrah. They made eating banku and drinking coconut look quite sexy in Brasila.

71. Recognition of the Year: The global acclamation of Uncle ABS Rossey as the Mayor of Mayors. That's my man!

72. Political Loss of the Year: Jointly won by Alan Cashless (when he was alleged to have lots of cash, he didn't promise a lot; when he promised a lot, he was alleged to have no cash), Dr Apraku (I still kenet believe that it happened) and Jake Obetsebi-Lamptey (his loss in the NPP Chairmanship race to Paul Afoko. He garnered a paltry 66 votes. Mr Afoko polled 2,031 votes to beat Mr Stephen Ntim, his closest rival who polled 1,503. The fourth contestant, Mr Fred Oware polled 1,135 votes. Jake got 0.13% of total votes cast). ?

73. Address of the Year: No 67 Otanka Close

74. Most Silent Public Institution of the Year: CHRAJ. Kudos for winning this back to back. More vim!

75. Prefect of the Year: Oko Vanderpuije, for his Friday inspections. What happened to those inspections koraa?

76. Instant Judge of the Year: Sulley Muntari

77. Social intervention project of the Year: Free 'Pads' for all school girls. No, not iPADs.

78. Movie of the Year: Cry, My Beloved Ankree. It was produced by the same company that brought us Ghost Tears.

79. Most Dollarised Local Commodity: Kenkey, as used in Brazil.

80. Planned Future Non-Traditional Export of the Year: $30,000 local food allocation for Black Stars for Brazil 2014.

81. The most efficient sportsman: Kevin-Prince Boateng – he played less than 90 minutes in Ghana’s qualification to the Brazil World cup, he played less than 90 minutes in Brazil and still made his cool $100,000. He is hotly followed by John Boye, who scored an own goal for $100,000; he is said to have spent the night before kissing and counting said dough.

82. Agency of the Year: Ghana Meteorological Department, for getting a mention in the President’s speech on Independence Day for not giving enough notice that it would rain on the day. The ceremony happened under a heavy downpour.

83. Speech of the Year: A tie between Nana Akuffo Addo’s declaration to contest for the NPP’s Presidential Primaries and Kwansima Dumor’s tribute to her late husband Komla Dumor.

84. State Secret of the Year: The GFA Budget for Brazil 2014.

85. Unsettled Minister of the Year: Mahama Ayariga for his comments that the Finance Minister’s honesty makes government uncomfortable and his unpreparedness for interviews.

86. Nickname of the Year: This is a very tight category. Contenders are Nana Borrow, John the Promiser, B?hy?ba, Promise M and Kofi Dubai. Undecided verdict, too close to call.

87. Future House Builder of the Year: General Mosquito, with his plan to build the Kwasia Bi Nti edifice. Did the GH¢256,000 land from Daily Guide?

88. Mysteries of the Year: The location of the Malaysian Airline Boeing 777 with 238 passengers and crew, the whereabouts of the hiplife artiste Castro the Destroyer and Suweiba's baby , and the identity of who said Tweeaaa.

89. Parachuting item of the Quarter: The Ghana cedi. Its slide downwards has even been ahead of the rate defined by gravity.

90. Export Commodity of the Year: Tweaa.

91. BaldHeads of the Year: Nii Ayi Tagoe, Kwami Sefa-Kayi and Anny Osabutey

92. Most Consistent Company: ECG. You can always trust them to de-light their customers.

93. Brand of the Year: ECG – No challenger.

94. Most stubborn public servant: The CHRAJ boss. She is still in her hotel after all the hullabaloo surrounding her accommodation.

95. Advertising Campaign of the Year: ‘Share A Coke’

96. Most Popular Repairs of the Year: Steel plate used to repair broken portion of bridge on Tema Motorway

97. Most Popular Local Dish of the Year: Fufu. It was mentioned in Parliament to be a cancer-causing agent.

98. Picture of the Quarter: Brigitte Dzogbenuku in the #?occupyflagstaffhouse?? demonstration on 1 July 2014.

99. Most Silent Politician: Nana Konadu. Michael Teye Nyaunu is a close contender.

100. Comedian of the Year: Kalybos BoysKasa, the only boss with 1 ‘s’.

101. Prayer of the Year: “Dear Lord, with the current increase in the price of everything, we are grateful to you, Lord, that you have not increased the tithe to 15%.” May the saints say Amen!

102. Talkative of the Year: Franklin Cudjoe. He fearlessly spoke his mind on most issues, online and on air.

103. Most Forgotten Headmaster: Koku Anyidoho. He tried to resurrect his political career but he is still waiting to hear from late President Mills.

104. Most popular events: Demonstrations

105. Most Controversial Issue of the Year: University of Ghana charging road tolls.

106. Most Loyal Football Supporters of the Year: Manchester Unilted and Arsenal Supporters. Of special mention is Anny Osabutey.

107. Ghanaian Astronaut (specially known as Coconaut) of the Year: Fauster Atta-Mensah

108. Religious leader of the Year: Pastor Mensah Otabil. Starr FM even established a desk at his chapel to turn his sermons into news items.

109. Internet Celebrity of the Year: Kalybos

110. Advert of the Year: MTN radio ad featuring Master Richard. Makye wo s? catarrh…h???ntin!

111. Movement of the Year: The Kpa-Kpa-Kpa Movement.

112. Footballer of the Year: No award. Protesting against the shambolic nature ouf our Brazil outing.

113. Regime Critic of the Year: Dr Tony Aidoo, until his appointment as the Ambassador to Netherlands.

114. Young Entrepreneur of the Year: Tonyi Senayah of Horseman Shoes. He is now known as “The President’s Shoemaker”.

115. Most Promising Brand of the Year: WearGhanaTV station of the Quarter

116. Wittiest Facebooker of the Year: Hon Rodney Nkrumah-Boateng, MP for Facebook South, International MP Baako P?, et cetera, et cetera. Husband of three international stool wives, including one PhD, not from Dayspring.

117. Facebook change agent of the Year: Efo Dela, for the advocacy he championed for the Apam boy who was later offered a scholarship by Ashesi University.

118. Most Popular Facebooker (Female): H.e. Olga Vladimir-Boshovoi Phd

119. Most Popular Facebookers (Male): Francis Kennedy Ocloo and Samuel Fahren Otoo.

120. Facebook Journalist of the Year: Manasseh Azure Awuni and Mabel Aku Banasseh

121. Most Listened-to Politician: Hotly contested! Nominees included Dr Bawumia, John Boadu, Asiedu Nketia (General Mosquito), Sir John and Akua Donkoh. As at the time of going to press, there was no clear winner!