Interesting Ghanaian Terminologies – Part Two

African wisdom is very rich and the attitude of African leaders continues to beat me very hard. So this week, this writer has gone back into our African glossary and brings to readers, more intrigues from our interesting terminologies.

In Ghana and the larger Africa, construction workers never work in the night, because light is not meant for the night but rather for the day. So road construction takes place only in broad daylight. Because native African wisdom prescribes that road construction should take place only in the day so as to create huge hold ups on the roads. That is the fastest way to increase productivity.

When you hear the phrase the economy is ready to take off, know that a new group of friends and relatives have just assumed the reigns of government and they are going to do everything possible to make themselves millionaires before they leave office.

And did you know that in many African countries, the economy is always ready to take off? Because the plane that flies economies is always on the tarmac?

If you hear a politician say that the right foundations have been laid for an economic boom, know that the national kitty has been emptied.

The cliché, government alone cannot do it means that because of the creature comfort of the few ruling elites, basic amenities for the ordinary man must not be provided.

Well, have you ever encountered this one? In Africa, the answer to a question is a question. Try visiting an African country!

When a politician is caught in the web of immorality or graft, the best form of defence is “where is the evidence?”

When you are told at the ministries to go and come tomorrow, the simplest thing to do is to drop an envelope and instantly your queries would be answered.

In Africa, if you want to gain recognition, simply bleach your skin, because light skin is the licence to fame and riches.

When you refuse to pay bribes either in the courts or at the police station, your docket gets missing.

In Ghana, when somebody is leaving your presence, the best way to inform you is “I am coming” and of course in Nigeria, if a person is going, the phrase is “I don’t go”.

In Nigeria, if you want somebody to excuse you, you say “sorry”.

On Ghanaian roads, the police stop and conduct spot checks on drivers of public transport (trotro) because they are the main group of people who contribute to the police’s micro-savings scheme and of course in Nigeria, the police stop motor bike riders (okada) – hey, they are able to beat all the crippling traffic in Lagos and make more money so they have to save some money with the Nigerian Police Bank! If you go through a driving test at Ghana’s Driver and Vehicle Licensing Authority (DVLA) and are told that you failed the examination, just know that you did not drop an envelope.

Politics actually means “poly-tricks” or many tricks so if an African politician tells you to look up, look down if you want your life prolonged.

The phrase “the good people of Ghana” actually means a group of Ghanaians who belong to and believe in the ideologies of the ruling party and would do anything to defend every bad policy of the government.

A university is where people are taught to nurse tribal and ethnic hatred. If you doubt this one, please check the admission form of any Ghanaian university and you’d see that two of the major pieces of information required of an applicant are your tribe and hometown.

When you apply to a medical school and are called for an interview, one of the most likely questions you are asked is whether or not a member of your family is a doctor.

These and many more of the above are what might have informed a former African leader, Julius Nyerere to say that “as the rest of the world is going to the moon, Africans are going back to the village.”

By Kwabena Mprah Jnr

Email: kmprah@gmail.com