Is Divorce to be Entertained?

Fri, 14 Aug 2015 Source: Twumasi, Patrick

In creation varied accounts such as the Priestly or the Yahweh indicated the cluster of water on earth till the creator (God) separated them into water above (in the sky) and water below.

Day and night were also split to light and darkness. Each of the entity has a definitive beginning and ending in their performance as stipulated by the Universal engineer, God, hence, the cliché that everything that has a beginning surely has an ending. Human beings start childhood, end it and enter into adulthood, then pass on to eternity. Very good pals might separate based on job mobility, change of location or sadly death. Beautiful buildings standing at a city center would cease to hold on to its delightful looks and fall off admiration. But one union of humanity considered being separable only by nature – death – is marriage which is gradually being carried along by the wind.

Marriage among the orthodox is a sacrament and is considered holy and pure. It is said couples are brought together by God to continue God's plan of continuous creation. The Union is well orchestrated with man and woman leaving their parents to become one in flesh.

Additionally, religious studies have described marriage as sacred union which comes directly under the blessing of God. Therefore, what God has put together let no man put asunder. This has been reiterated umpteen times during weddings of Christians.

Divorce is frown upon in every human community and religious setting. In Christianity, divorce is permissible and admissible only when adultery had evidently occurred on the part of either of the spouse.

Until it is established that either of the couple has engage in flirtation, divorced spouse cannot remarry. When re-engagement of marriage takes place, it is counted as adultery in Christian interpretation.

Divorce has been looked at from various schools of thought. It is seen as re-transference of the wife by a simple writing to her own family. The causes of divorce like those of most social evils are often many and intricate. A greater percentage is based on adultery, cruelty (physical and verbal abuse), desertion, drunkenness and neglect. Personalities marry but characters co-exist. A cat does not fall in love with the mouse. What an affair it would be?

Relatively marriage in Africa is between families as comparable to individuals elsewhere. According to Prof. Canon John S. Imbiti in his book "Africa Religions and Philosophy", couples come together as one flesh. This is identified or realized in the children brought forth. A child is a 50 percent of the father and another 50 percent of the mother, which makes the 100 percent of the offspring.

Analogically, a man pours 50 percent of himself into a bottle that needs 100 percent to be full. While the woman also does same. The full bottle is from two sources that willingly came to consensus to fill an empty bottle. Can you imagine if there is divorce? The owners of the 50 percentages are separating and are demanding each what belongs to them, wreck! This is done violently most often. Picture it mentally?

A child in a properly constituted marriage home finds fulfillment in both parents through implementing each 50 percent by the couple. Upon divorce there is split in the one flesh that came together to be revealed in the Child or Children. Husband and Wife each draws away the 50 percentage poured into the bottle making the full 100 percent.

In other words, children involved are ripped apart. Physically, these kids can be seen hale and hearty, but mentally and psychologically they are disorganized. Spiritually these offspring's from the one flesh are torn and no more exist. Remember that at the beginning of this piece, there was reference to couples coming together as one flesh.

Hence, the oneness which is identifiable in the child will be parted. Imagine two pieces of paper held together by an adhesive, if it is separated each side will suffer a tear. Divorce is a source of injury. Indeed it is an injurious situation.

Clinically observing, parents who have consumed their marriage for three decades and have grown up children and probably blessed with grandchildren serve as the central holding of the family. As soon as they pass on to the land of our silent fathers, 99 percent of such families loosen up to tie up in nuclear families – father, mother and children. This is as a result of the central adhesive fall out. That is when natural divorce is said to have taken place-"death does us part". Most often the percentage that are a close knit, will even struggle to obtain and maintain a united front, because the source of unity is no more. Grandchildren can not congregate around a magnet – grandparent. The only medium of assembly is visiting themselves.

It has been put forward severally, ought divorcees to be allowed to marry again? Quietly, it is a thorny issue. Should marriage that is engaged in physical and verbal abuse as well as adultery and neglect, be encouraged?

Analytically, a divorcee has only 50 percent of his or her self. 50 percent is locked up with the previous marriage. Nonetheless, if there was an issue or not, the 'break' or 'split' of the 'one flesh' will leave each bruised and injured to become one flesh again with another partner.

We believe to understand, when a previous union result in a child, years after separation both couples are brought or held together by those kids. In the case of medical referee(s), parents of patients are required to be present, Parent Teacher Association (PTA) request the presence of both couple. Whether divorced or not in the above stated instances both parents have to appear. That is the 50 percent left in the past relationship.

This is why God in his holy wisdom instituted marriage and gave divorce no dais, but only death and when there is adultery. And even in the case of the latter permitting divorce, the decision to dissolve the holy union is thrown to the offended couple. So, is divorce the apt opt? Does divorce mutate the complex society and family?

Many wonder why most often there is festering anarchy in homes of re-married divorcees. Both or a couple might enter current marriages with children. When such environment exists, there prevails rivalry between the wives and children from pervious marriages. Most children do not forget they bear the 50 percent of their parents which does not resonate with the present.

Some husbands do impregnate their step daughters. Why? Such step fathers do not have any part of themselves say the 50 percent poured in these ladies who fall victim to these domestic rape. However, some step mothers also do same, but not as often reported as the former.

Additionally, widows and widowers normally have 50 percent of themselves buried with their loved spouses who have fallen and bitten the dust. Hence, with part of them locked down in the grave and corrupted, most desire not to jerk into re-marry. Most often, such partners do not live long, after their better halves have joined the heavenly choir.

Again, on the attainment of independence the first President of Tanzania, H.E Julius Nyerere symbolically poured together sand collected from Tanganyika and Zanzibar as a sign of the union between the two islands forming a great nation. How possible will it be to separate the sand from each other? Such is marriage, it is inseparable!

The above should be pricking your mind whether divorce is the ideal in many instances. However, divorce often becomes a necessary evil, while it remains one of the most devastating events to hit any growing child.

Divorce is evil-good.

Patrick Twumasi


Columnist: Twumasi, Patrick