Ken Agyapong: The vulgar politics Of exposed genitals & bad-mouthing - Part 2

Thu, 11 Feb 2016 Source: Kwarteng, Francis


Afia Schwarzenegger could be somewhat right or justified in saying that politicians like Ken are why Akufo-Addo cannot be president. The irony is that, why she made this apocalyptic augury is unwelcomely difficult for us to fathom, certainly a view others may not necessarily find unknottable. It could, however, be that Ken’s undignified suit of embarrassing gaffes and ignominies, by-heart talk, and apparent lack of intellectual or philosophical familiarization with the civilizational doctrine of public diplomacy do not reflect positively on the New Patriotic Party (NPP) and the long-overdue materialization of Führer Akufo-Addo’s political ambitions.

But that is stretching the man, Ken, to become taller than the hair on his head. In that case also we will be making a beeline for Führer Akufo-Addo’s “All-die-be-die” and “Yen Akanfuo” singsongs which we may have to juxtapose with Ken’s battle cry, declaring that Akans (“Asantes”) should kill Gas and Ewes, a statement he had repeatedly denied ever making outside the context he actually meant it to have been understood. Clearly, the battle-cry choruses of the two Machiavellian political characters are merely spitting images nonetheless. This may also explain why the two click. In one sense therefore, trying to dissemble one’s exposed genitals in the full glare of the public-eye can be as tough as Afia’s hippo-skin and as excruciatingly loud as her hippo-mouth.

In another sense however, Afia’s hippo-mouth can swallow the exposed genitals of Ken’s battle cry without so much as giving up a scintilla of martial sweat. It was for this reason that, she publicly requested Jordan Ayew to send her a picture of his humungous exposed genitals, in the wake of Afriyie Acquah’s wife’s public disclosure of Ayew’s monstrous package, hidden somewhere in his Gray’s anatomy. This is just by the way. That being said however, Afia knew Ayew’s was not a hidden openness that could be doctored, much like she now knows the endarkened gingivitis-mouth of Ken’s exposed genitals cannot be doctored.

Elsewhere, we have seen the bureaucratic futility of public officials and partisan hacks trying to cover the exposed genitals of persons awarded illegal judgment debts. But denying the obvious is what our diabolical politicians are known for. Yaw Osafo-Marfo preached apocalyptic political ethnocentrism and when his preachifying to a privileged gang of political pharisasees was caught on tape he quickly distanced himself from it, defending himself on the grounds that the said tape had been doctored. It seems that Osafo-Marfo’s exposed genitals lacked a dangling pendulum of testosterone-manufacturing balls, having been publicly eviscerated and the eviscerated balls used to prepare spicy hilal kebab by and for his sophisticated political enemies.

As may have been expected Ken appeared on national television to defend the eviscerated Osafo-Marfo. Führer Akufo-Addo said nothing by way of public disapproval since Osafo-Marfo was merely rephrasing “Yen Akanfuo.” Thus, claiming one’s tape has been doctored has been a powerful alibi for disgraced public culprits such as Osafo-Marfo. We should make it unambiguously clear that this convenient alibi sells like hot cake because of its exculpatory attributes as well as of our culture of impunity and partisan political cultism.

Ken’s undoctored exposed genitals may do the political ambition of Führer Akufo-Addo in if he [the latter] does not demonstrate leadership of political market criers who go astray from public diplomacy. Ken’s undoctored exposed genitals are there for all to see. We could not therefore agree more with Afia that people like Ken are why Führer Akufo-Addo cannot be president. Time will tell.


One cannot fathom why, to borrow Ken’s vulgar phraseology, a comic bed-wetter and a political prostitute in the person of another pied-character, such as Prof. Amoako Baah, has always managed to conveniently keep a discomforting blanket quietness over legislator Ken’s embarrassing social gaffes and humungous ignominies. And we no doubt know that Ken ideally fits the public profile of a political “bed wetter,” “prostitute,” and “ugly bitch” than we can possibly say of Afia Schwarzenegger. This fact is regrettably lost on the comical prophesier Prof. Baah.

Yet, the same Prof. Baah is not pricked by the nauseous qualms of rational introspection and intellectual balance when he recently descended upon Seth Kwame Dzokoto, an aspiring legislator and a comedian-cum-showbiz icon on the ticket of the National Democratic Party (NDC), and by his ethically unbalanced and tendentious rhetorical coup d’état against the leadership of Paul Afoko, Sammy Crabbe, and Kwabena Agyapong. In fact, Prof. Baah and legislator Ken are no less comically robotic than the showbiz personality whom we have come to know as Dzokoto.

There is, without a doubt, that Ken’s public profile of vulgar rhetoric diarrhea and insensitive public posturing are deserving of sustained public reproach. What is more, Ken’s and Prof. Baah’s misbehaviors are clear indications of how far dismal our partisan political cultism has sunk the body politic. In this sense Prof. Baah, Sir John, and Ken are the Bob Okolas and the Nkomodes of our time, perhaps the only momentous difference amongst them being Prof. Baah’s misapplied intellectualism to public diplomacy and political strategy aimed at the radical activation of the rational pragmatics of opposition politics.

It is in this larger context of events that we recall Ken threatening to use some of his wealth to set up a rival political party, if party delegates did not vote out the old party executives in Tamale, including Jake Obetsebi-Lamptey, Sir John, and others. It is interesting that we did not hear from Ken again as to whether he actually meant to execute his threat. It could be that because some influential persons in the highest echelon of his party’s hierarchy with privileged (or insider) information counter-threatened to expose the source of his flaunted wealth, he decided to go mute.

This counter-threat, however, reignited the speculation that Ken’s flaunted wealth may have originated from his involvement in illicit trafficking in narcotic drugs, a simmering speculation Afia recently resurrected as part of her public verbal spar with him, even as we will not ignore Ken himself publicly admitting to some of his close family members having been involved in illicit narcotic trafficking. But we do not think Afia has the necessary incriminatory evidence to nail him. Where are Martin Amidu and Ana Aremeyaw Anas to help us track down this illusive evidence?

Kofi Adams also recently revived the hibernating theory linking Ken’s wealth to the shadow or underground economy of illicit narcotic dealing. Still, we cannot and should not hold Ken responsible for the scarlet sins of his family members via guilt by association. Thus, those who have the evidence should make it available to the National Bureau of Investigations (NBI), the Criminal Investigations Department (CID), the Attorney General, and the Economic and Organized Office (EOCO) to assist in nailing him. In a similar vein we will like Ken to proffer evidence linking Kwadwo Mpiani, John Kufuor, Paul Afoko, and Kwabena Agyapong to the acid-bath assassination of Adams Mahama.

As a matter of fact, there are so many allegations Ken has made which he has never bothered to proffer evidence for. In other words Ken should speak his piece or forever hold his peace. We as Afia to do the same. Anyway, ex-Asante Kotoko Ahmed Simba Toure has hauled Ken before court to answer a libelous charge he [Ken] leveled against him. Ken allegedly accused the plaintiff of infecting Afia with HIV.

“I can say he is senseless because he is elderly man with little brains,” Ahmed says of the defendant.


It is high time we made it unambiguously clear to Sodom-and-Gomorrah public office holders such as Ken, that his bed-wedding and prostituting tongue are not no longer suited to the ethical oversight of public decency and social diplomacy and, for this reason, he should recall himself from parliamentary obligations. On the other hand we will have wished if Führer Akufo-Addo could make it easier for him by, among other measures, politely asking him to retire his parliamentary seat for Dzokoto to take it over or, by petitioning the executive leadership of the opposition party to haul him before its Disciplinary Committee for purposes of internal censure. Of course, we also understand that Dzokoto is not from Ken’s constituency. We however make this statement in the spirit of political morality.

More so until recently when he mustered courage to ask Ken to hold his bed-wetting and philandering tongue from public pronouncements on matters relating to internal party deliberations, Führer Akufo-Addo has been exceptionally quiet over Ken’s crude and grotesque public pronouncements. Führer Akufo-Addo’s silence is strategic as he has chosen not to criticize him because he needs some of his wealth to finance his own political campaigns. This is nothing new. It is common knowledge Ken is a major financier of the NPP and that could explain why he does not respect anybody in the party. This is what our dubious duopolistic democratization means in terms of political commoditization and commercialization.


As we said before, Ken is probably doing more to harm the political fortunes of Führer Akufo-Addo and the NPP than could ever be said of Paul Afoko, Kwabena Agyapong, Nyarho Tamakloe, Arthur Kennedy, Sammy Crabbe, and Kwadwo Mpiani. Again, Sodom-and-Gomorrah politicians such as Ken are why some see Ghanaian politics as stinking to the high heavens. Probably more important is the fact that both P.C. Appiah-Ofori and Afia view Ken’s crass misbehavior as a negative reflection on the potential political fortunes of Akufo-Addo and that of his party. This is why the Disciplinary Committee of the NPP and those NPP members of the parliamentary Privileges Committee should treat Ken with the full rigor of their internal constitutions and regulations, more specifically in line with their standing orders or code of conduct.

The Disciplinary Committee could treat Ken in the situational likeness of jazz trumpeter, Miles Davis, who had to turn and flaunt his back toward a racist French audience because they booed and taunted him even as he entertained them. Regrettably we unabashedly embrace our unpolished and unsophisticated public officials as they disgrace and destroy the image of Ghana and its institutions. No wonder Ghana is sinking so fast if public caricatures like Ken with bed-wetting and philandering tongues can be elected to the legislature and even addressed as “Honorable.” The people have themselves to blame for electing such primitive caricatures to public office.

Even more important that honorary title, “Honorable,” for public scoundrels such as Ken is as disgusting as the imported bootleg wigs our goat-and-yam-verdict-selling jurists wear are as anachronistic. Regardless, instituting effective internal prophylactic measures against any potential evolution of vulgar verbal outbursts as in Ken’s sorry case will go a long way to promote a modern civilization of public diplomacy in Ghana’s destructive partisan duopoly.


In the end Ken could have dealt with Afia by suing her (and her employer) for libel. He needs to do this, that is, set a deterrent precedent, as the drug charges against him keep surfacing now and then. He is also not helping his case with his misguided ethnocentric outbursts. Calling some of his perceived enemies and detractors names, for instance, as “Mossi” does not pass muster. And what if radio presenter Mugabe Maase is Mossi?

Ken must therefore learn to shut his trap and not respond to every public attack on him. Like every other Ghanaian, though, he has every right to defend himself against personal and political attacks by setting the record straight. In other words he is within his rights to do so. Afia was also within her rights to defend the president, given the fact of Mr. John Mahama being a public citizen owned by the people via the national Constitution. That is, being a figure owned by public trust also means that Afia is no less justified to defend the president, his mother and his brother, as Ken is in attacking the president, his mother and his brother. All this requires a measure of decorum and decency on our airwaves.

The president’s private life, however, deserves all the protection and respect it needs unless it violates or unethically interferes with the public trust and his constitutional mandate. On the other hand perhaps, Afia should have allowed President Mahama, his brother and his mother to defend themselves. But, Afia is not one known to shut her trap as she effectively uses it to pull publicity stunts to bring attention to herself and her programs, something she has been doing for some time now to endear her to her fans.

The truth is that the social universe of Afia’s hippo-mouth takes up more space in the public domain than her entire anatomy.


Both Afia’s and Ken’s crass misbehaviors are appalling and shameful. But it is rather Ken’s we are more interested in given his position as a legislator and as an influential public figure, a person of interest with huge employable investments in Ghana. And that is not to leave Afia off the hook completely. Having said that, we will also want to submit that Ken’s crass misbehavior is not contributing positively to Ghana’s social and political civilization. Namely, his crass misbehavior is generally far from the ethical-moral epicenter of social civility and political toleration.

What we believe is probably the major problem with his crass misbehavior is that, it tends to de-civilize the intellectual and spiritual mainstream of Ghanaian social and political culture rather than civilize it. Maybe his arrogant crass misbehavior stems from the fact that his fortune and success have gone to his head. Nor should he think he is the richest person in human history. That title respectfully goes to Ancient Mali’s Mansa Musa. Nor should he also think he is the richest African. Again, that title respectfully goes to Nigeria’s Aliko Dangote. Lest we are not misunderstood, we want to make it clear that we do envy Ken’s material wealth though some of his major critics could be.

The fact is that there are better educated, humbler, and wealthier legislators from around the world who are making significant contributions to human progress and civilization. Ken could learn from such individuals, for Ghana cannot afford to have nagging market criers as legislators and politicians of note. He can take a closer look at the US Senate, for instance. We need not belabor this point because he spent some time in the US and should be familiar with our arguments.

The other fact is that Ken has the people of Ghana and Ex-President John Kufour to thank for part of his material wealth and sociopolitical success. On this latter matter Bryan Acheampong, an ex-aide to Jake Obetsebi-Lamptey, had made this point quite clear to Ghanaians. Beyond these basic facts which are already in the inventory of public knowledge, one is tempted to say that being a legislator or a public figure carries with it great responsibility, self-respect, and respect for the public. It also requires circumspection in one’s public, and even private, pronouncements and public mannerisms as a positive reflection of one’s dignified self-carriage and respect for public diplomacy.

This explains why Ken may want to use a public relations publicist, a publicist for short, to represent him, his public interests and his business empire, for he is not that rhetorically and diplomatically intelligent when it comes to issues of self-representation. His brand will suffer gravely someday if he continues to misbehave as crassly as the way he does today and with it privileged impunity, which he believes he may continuously enjoy, for, after all, public patronage of him and his brand and social respectability are transient. We believe he knows this.


Let us also point out that the exposed-genitals mental landscapes of Afia and Ken are not what Ghana and Africa for that matter needs at this moment in time. The country has myriad challenging problems confronting it, redoubtable challenges that require innovative and maverick minds to solve, not a constant reminder of two mindless children’s emotional trivialities and of their paedomorphic personality clashes, in the sense of a back-and-forth social sodomy of undelightful, undignified, and childish insults.

Perhaps the exposed genitals in the endarkened gingivitis-mouths of Ken and Afia deserve each other. In other words they should get married. Why do we say so? Because birds of a feather, they say, flock together. Therefore, we entreat them to play Jagged Edge’s track “Let’s Get Marred,” Lionel Ritchie and Dianna Ross’s “Endless Love,” and Luther Vandross’ “Here and Now.”


Ghanaweb. “Ahmed Toure Sues NPP’s Agyapong.” Soccer News. February 8, 2016.

Ghanaweb. “We Will Make Kennedy Agyapong’s Life Unbearable—Jake’s Aide.” Sourced from Peacefmonline.com. January 30, 2014.

We shall return…

Columnist: Kwarteng, Francis