Letter From The President: State of the Nation - Bad

Countrymen and Women, loyalists and opponents presenting my assessment of the state of our nation is not always a very pleasant task. I dread it. But the constitution demands that I do. As the first citizen of the land, I have no choice than to fulfill all my constitutional obligations – unlike most of you, I don’t often have the privilege of bending the rules.

I am very sorry to report that our country is not in good shape at all and the future is bleak. All those who claim that the future is bright might either be living in a world of their own or simply running away from reality. I, as the Excellent One, have been doing all I can to fix the mess created by Jerry Boom’s infantile handling of the affairs of our nation for 20 years. I believe that a table-top petty trader might have managed this country better than Jerry Boom did in two decades. He did us very little good so I blame all my failures on him.

Since I ascended the Black Star Stool (which I only get to actually sit on just once in a year on occasions like this when I deliver my sessional address) I have been trying very hard to underdo all the Jerry Boom Mess. It has not been easy for me at all. The last year was particularly challenging. My major objective was to help my people to live above HIPC – pretend to be ok even though they are highly indebted and poor.