Letter From The President: Who needs privileges?

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,
I can?t believe that I am just about to leave office. Jeez, I will soon be relegated to the oblivion which is the lot of an African ex-president. I will no longer dominate the frontpage of the Daily Graphic (don?t they have anything else to put there by the way?) and I will not race crazily around like Michael Schumacher. But I surely hope that my successor will be an NPP man who will take very good care of me when am retired. I pray to God that the next President should not be someone who will ?withdraw? my privileges the moment I take out my last skeleton-full cupboard from the Castle. If I am left to choose my successor, I would only crown the man who will prove to me beyond all reasonable doubts ? by swearing by one of his balls or taking an ?antoa nyama? oath ? that he?d ensure that I live in comfort and run my hotel without any let or hindrance. Fortunately for Sikaman (but very unfortunately for me) I am not allowed to do that. Only the good people of this country can decide who the next president should be.