Letter from The President: Bodyguards and Maids

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

I am very much ashamed of my Interior Minister. But I don?t know what to do to him. You know he?s very rich and he contributes a lot to our party?s campaign and I fear that if I sack him, the party will lose his money. He also can behave like a loose cannon sometimes, saying things he needs not say. I know you know about all those things that have happened in his household. For those of you who don?t know, I wouldn?t mind taking on the unpleasant task of telling you about the shameful incident involving the minister?s bodyguard and his maid. It happened that a ring went missing in the Ministers house. All the accusing fingers pointed in the direction of the maid and all the tongues in the household started wagging and spitting on her. After an intensive round of interrogations, the minister?s bodyguard allegedly decided to employ Abu Ghraib methods to set the girl?s tongue loose in order for her to confess to a crime she insisted she had not committed. The bodyguard, did not tie the maid to a leash as happened in the famous jail in Baghdad but he allegedly used all the ?macho? strength he had acquired over the years to beat the girl senseless.

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

I am very much ashamed of my Interior Minister. But I don?t know what to do to him. You know he?s very rich and he contributes a lot to our party?s campaign and I fear that if I sack him, the party will lose his money. He also can behave like a loose cannon sometimes, saying things he needs not say. I know you know about all those things that have happened in his household. For those of you who don?t know, I wouldn?t mind taking on the unpleasant task of telling you about the shameful incident involving the minister?s bodyguard and his maid. It happened that a ring went missing in the Ministers house. All the accusing fingers pointed in the direction of the maid and all the tongues in the household started wagging and spitting on her. After an intensive round of interrogations, the minister?s bodyguard allegedly decided to employ Abu Ghraib methods to set the girl?s tongue loose in order for her to confess to a crime she insisted she had not committed. The bodyguard, did not tie the maid to a leash as happened in the famous jail in Baghdad but he allegedly used all the ?macho? strength he had acquired over the years to beat the girl senseless.