Love From Afar

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 Source: Ayiku, Charles Nii

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In Ghana today, there are a lot of women and men, whose love ones are based outside Ghana. Most of these love ones are either working or schooling abroad and find it difficult to visit home very often. Even when they have the opportunity to visit home, they do not get enough time to enjoy with their love ones. A lot of long-distance relationships have end ed abruptly due to the inability of those involved to keep it alive.

Let's face it long distance relationships are tough. Horrific phone costs, obsessions with mailboxes, jealousy and feelings of loss and abandonment cast a dark spell over the crazy thing called love. But, distance can also offer an alternative to the fast paced same-country relationships.

Long-distance relationships give you time and space. It allows you to focus on your own life without some of the self-absorption of first time love. You independently develop a life which helps you to learn who you are, not whose girlfriend or boyfriend you may be. It can also encourage a slower development of your relationship. This allows for introspection and an honest assessment of your feelings for your partner.

In today?s article, we are going to look at suggestions on how we can make a long-distance relationship work. These suggestions must be made real by the two parties, which are the man and the woman.

The most important part of my suggestions are on communications. Staying in touch regularly is the key to surviving a long-distance relationship. With communication we can use the following:

? email, telephone, text message, letter, etc.

? Send little gifts - to show how often you think of each other.

? Make some surprise calls - make the odd call just to say "I love you."

? Send regular pictures - this will help your partner keep a visual record of what you're up to.

? Keep a diary - then share it with your partner each time you meet. You should remember to keep your partner informed about your life. You may live separately, but sharing information about your activities and friends is still important.

Another way of keeping a long distance relationship work is by way of building trust. Because you can not see each other, it is difficult to keep an eye on each other; therefore there is the need for you to build trust. Make extra effort to be reliable and make sure you do what you say you are going to do. If you are able to trust yourselves in little things, you will be able to trust yourself in big things-like fidelity. Suspicion will only break the relationship down.

Also, do well to share your feelings about the relationship - both the positives and the negatives. This will give you the opportunity to really understand each other and give the support and reassurance you both need. Talk about your resentment at the situation rather than at each other and look forward to the time when you're next together. Furthermore, No matter how frustrated you feel, always remember that this is not how it will be forever.

DO NOT focus on your sadness. When you feel sad always go to the gym and by the end of the workout you would feel better. You may also engage yourself in other useful activities.

Keep busy! It's so important to stay active and live your life, don?t hold back from doing the normal day to day stuff.

BE STRONG. It's so hard, and at times very lonely, keep good friends and family around you.

What about what other people think? Some people may think you are wasting time in this relationship. However, it's not what other people think that should matter in deciding how to manage your long-distance relationship. It's what you and your partner mean to each other. Nonetheless, it is more helpful to have supportive friends.

In addition, with the right amount of effort and interest on both parts, a long distance relationship can survive the obstacles it will frequently be challenged with. As long as you trust each other, inform one another of your personal lives and keep in touch, your relationship can turn out to be one of the most successful and happy relationships that ever existed on earth. You both will be secure, happy and satisfied until the day comes when you will re-unite for good and build your wonderful future together.

So my fellow Ghanaians living home and abroad. These are my suggestions. I know long-distance relationships are very complicated and challenging. However, throughout time a lot of people have had to be miles apart, and have been able to maintain a solid, happy and successful relationship until they could be together again. In order to find success, I believe the suggestions above can help build healthy, fulfilling and enduring relationships.

Absence can make the heart grow fonder when you use the time to show your partner how much they mean to you.

Views expressed by the author(s) do not necessarily reflect those of GhanaHomePage.

Columnist: Ayiku, Charles Nii