Married Women Running Away After Arriving Abroad?

Marriage is seen as healthy institution since the creation of God,

and it is accepted by all the nineteen major religious affinities,

which include the Christianity religion, Jehovah' s Witnesses,

Islam, Atheism, Bahai, Buddhism, Candomble, Hinduism,

Jainism, Judaism, Mormonism, Rastafari and Paganism.

The rest are Santeria, Shinto, Sikhism, Taoism, Unitarianism

as well as Zoroastrianism.

To wit, no particular religious body abhor marriage and this

is why parents encourage their children to marry thus as to

gain respect in society and to help the growth of a nation

through procreation. Apart from religious requirements, our

African cultural and traditional souls are core values to hold

in highly esteemed level. If we all know the merits and

importance of marriage, why do some of our African married

ladies get to abroad and run away from their husbands?

Both the married and unmarried Africans living abroad are

perturbed one way or the other: The married African man

whose wife is living in his homeland or native country is faced

with the problem of using hefty sum of money to bring his wife

from Africa to come live with him abroad. Again, he is having

the problem of how to nurture her to suit his life and the

economic and social nature of the said abroad country the

wife has come to reside with him. On the contrary, the

unmarried African man faces the problem of whether to marry

a lady from the abroad nation he lives or to go to his country

to marry.

There is no vivid statistic in Ghana or Nigeria or any other

African country to depict the rate at which married ladies

living in African practice infidelity or adultery but if programs

aired on the various Ghanaian Radio or Fm stations globally

are anything to be measured or go by, then one will be closer

to excellent to say many African men whose wives are living

in Africa are still not breathing well--they are always sitting

on thorns with their wives back home in Africa. This becomes

evident when phone calls always turn into fights, pettiness,

trivialities and accusations.

Is your husband living abroad and cheating on him in Africa?

For example, when recently five Ghanaian radio stations activated

their phone-lines and asked married women who have ever

cheated on their husbands living abroad, I was astonished to

count as many as 25-married women. As some cried aloud

and asked for ways to stop, other married ladies were not

disturbed at all and said they can not stop flirting with their

boyfriends. "Wow! This is unfortunate", I said.

Are you amazed that out of four children a man living abroad

had with his wife, only one is the man' s true biological child,

courtesy blood test?

And are you worried that some of these ladies come abroad

and run away from their marital homes and flee to live with their

class-mates and boyfriends they already have abroad?

Why do you think some married women run away after coming

to their husbands abroad?

The first answer is, a lot of African men living abroad cheat

and maltreat ladies they know here(say in U.S, Europe, Asia, etc.)

and later want to get "angel ladies" to marry from Africa. And can

anybody dispute the well rehearsed American adage, "whatever

goes around come around?" Of course, no. If you lead sound,

exemplary and healthy live worthy of emulation abroad and you

pray to God, surely, He is more than faithful to give you an

equally good lady.

Secondly, many African men living abroad use over dependence

of ladies pictures given them from ladies they have not seen before

or the use of the advent of social media(facebook, myspace, etc.) to

look for their wives. The use of pictures to marry a lady you have not

known before is not only a risk, it can also lead to short marriage life

span--say only between three and five-year period.

The third reason why some married women get to abroad and take to

their heels is the fact that many of the men living abroad tell lies a lot

to the ladies in Africa. Love is love. Love is a simple thing: It' s naturally

known, felt, reasoned and deduced. If a lady living in Africa really loves

you, she will surely as of your age, visions or plans, religion, where

you' re from, education, profession, whether you' re really single or

have a child or you smoke or drink, mention just a few. Thus, learn to be

simple and honest.

If your profession abroad is house-keeping at a hospital or home-care

or hotel, tell her the truth. If you' re taxi driver, let her know

before she comes.

If you are not an accountant, engineer, doctor, lawyer, pastor, etc. do not

be a braggart or blow your own horn deceptively. Remember that ladies are

very intelligent and they remember all you tell them on phone. Why should

you tell a lady you want to marry from Africa or your wife living in Ghana or

Nigeria that you are living in your own acquired or purchased private house

when in fact, you 're aware that you are in a small studio or one room with a

room-mate? If you tell her any lies and she is not a very good devoted

Christian or Moslem or her parents have not brought her up with the sense of

purpose and kindness, she will surely run away. But if she doesn't, she might

choose having affairs without your knowledge.

Nonetheless, one important factor which makes some African ladies run away

from their husbands is "showering of money". Countless men living abroad think

that by virtue of the power of U.S dollars ($) or European pounds,

they can dictate

the pace to the ladies living in Africa. No. It does not work properly

thus. Note this:

There is a vast difference between giving a lady money from your heart without

having any "attachment" with it or without having any mindset of going to Ghana

or Nigeria one day to have sex with her to recoup your $ and proposing

love to her

and start giving her money through the various money transfers. Please, do good

for good. Because it is one best way God blesses people. What most of

African men

living abroad don't know is that a larger number of the ladies they

talk on phone to in

Africa are having their own serious boyfriends or dating-lovers. In

many cases, there

are rich men in Africa(some are married there and just using these

ladies for extra

sex because of poverty) who rent homes for these ladies secretly. Thus

if you think

you live abroad and give her so $100 so she should love you for sex when you go

to Africa, the re-write your thinking notes very well. That's one

reason why some of

the ladies pretentious act to allow a man abroad to marry her; only

for her to get

to U.S or Europe and run away to her known lover abroad. But all run away ladies

are not having things on a silver-platter at all: They are facing the

music of God

on their minds. So why running away in the firs place?

Additionally, one surest way of seeing your newly arrival wife run

away is by bad

parents of your wife(your parents-in-law) or bad friends of your wife.

If God is not

on your side and your in-laws "damage, spoil and poison" the mind of your wife

before or after her arrival abroad, it may hammer you heftily and that

alone can see

your wife parking and leaving when you go to work. And if your wife already has

friends in the country she' s coming to, be prayerful.

The good scenario is that not all married ladies brought from Africa run away.

Some come here(in U.S) and help transform the husbands totally. And through

God fearing ethics, such ladies clean homes, do laundry, grocery and cook for

their husband and give their whole heart and love to their husbands.

After all, they

don't want to be ungrateful to their husbands or face the wrath o God one day.

Truly, men living in Africa also have their share:There are so many

men who are just

looking for ladies living abroad to marry and take advantage of them.

Whereas certain

men in Africa are looking for lady doctors, others are also seeking

for lady nurses. And

as other men are looking for lady pastors, some are searching for rich

ladies abroad.

But the truth is, I know of a lot of married ladies who came to U.S

from Ghana, Nigeria,

Senegal, Gambia, Togo, Ivory Coast, etc. who were brought by their husbands and

fled from their husbands and married same African men from the

countries I have just

enumerated above. Interestingly, all such marriages ended abruptly

into the ditch of

dejection. Don't do evil to any human or else your conscience and soul

will never be

delighted. And the huge question is:Have you taken someone' s wife from airport

and snatched her? Do yo know how much it cost men to bring their wives abroad;

only for you to practice sex with them or take them forever? Be careful!

Why do you think married women run away more than married men?

Never use assumption to think (that) all African ladies or men are the

same:The fact that

we know of a few married ladies or men ran away after arriving abroad

does not mean

the man or lady you want to marry from Africa and bring him or her

settle with you abroad

will run away. Just be a prayerful person. Be an optimist. And,

always, never use any

malapropism statement when talking about yourself to an unknown lady

or man living in

Africa. Be real! Be honesty because honesty pays a great dividend.

Written by: Isaac Amissah.

Email: isaac4honesty@gmail.com

Facebook: Isaac Amissah.

This writer is a radio presenter(talk host) of Volta Power Fm and you

can listen to his programs

every Monday at www.voltapowerfm.com (click on "ON AIR" at the top

right of your pc) from

5-10p.m Eastern Time of U.S (Ghana time 9pm-1a.m).