My 2011 Awards

By Nana Awere Damoah (with inputs from Nana Kweku Ankobiah, Dela Kobla Nyamuame,

Winfred Edem Ofori, Yvonne Amenuvor, Sunday Aderemi, Genevieve Parker, Kwame

Akpesey, Stephen D Yankey, Kwabena Agyapong Asare, Nana Kweku Ankobiah, Francis

Kennedy Ocloo, Dela Kobla Nyamuame, Richard Billy Hanyabui, Jacob Nana Dapaah)

This is very eclectic. Enjoy. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

1. Most publicized jobs: FONKARites and GAMEists. The Yutong bus driver is a close

third.

2. The most misunderstood statement: “2011 will be an Action Year.” Di Wo Fie Asem

(DWFA) and All Die be Die are close.

3. The most Seetay Waa (aka False hope) Project of the Year: STX Housing Project

4. The most anti-climax moment of the year: The revelation of the Rawlings tape on

the Ya-Na killings. In an interview with Joy News on 13 June, the Attorney General,

Martin Amidu said “The Rawlings’ Ya Na tape is useless.” According to him the

so-called video evidence in the possession of the Attorney General is an interview

session between Victor Smith and one claiming to be a cousin of the Ya-Na. “So if

there is any tape in the possession of my office it is a tape of an interview

between Victor Smith and this gentle man. It is not a tape of what happened on the

precise day and time which will give a clue to somebody doing something or saying

something or not. It is a tape of something narrated to Victor by someone who claims

to be there. That tape cannot be direct evidence in a court of law.”

5. The most consistent utility company: Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG). You

could always count on them to disappoint. (They maintained it from last year).

Jointly nominated: Ghana Water Company. The Kufour/Mills gallons came back with full

force.

6. The most popular new word: FONKAR. Wayome is a close second.

7. The most popular passengers: those in Michael Teye Nyaunu's Yutong bus story.

8. Most popular make of bus: Yutong. Was even likened to Ghana (still reigning from

last year)

9. The most popular social commentator: Dela Cofie.

10. The busiest service unit: Ghana Fire Service. The success rate was, however,

low. This year, they got some new equipment. Hope they can now fight fire above four

stories.

11. The most silent politician: Dr. Edward Mahama (maintained the position from last

year).

12. Political victory of the year: Samia Nkrumah elected Chairperson of CPP.

13. Political loss of the year: Nana Konadu Agyeman Rawlings. Her aides accused

President Mills of earmarking 90 million Ghana cedis for the FONKAR-GAME contest,

and ended up getting 90 votes, representing 3.1%.

14. Critic of the Year: J J Rawlings.

15. The most popular abbreviation: DWFA.

16. The most talked about commodity: Oil.

17. NGO of the Year: PNC. Ooops, it is a political party, I forgot.

18. The busiest actor and actress: Agya Koo and Kyeiwaa.

19. The promise most expected to be fulfilled: “2011 is a Year of Action.” (Last

year, it featured thus: “The most soothing and well-received political promise:

“2011 is a Year of Action”. We had been expecting that statement for two years.

Better late than never.”)

20. The most listened-to politician: JJ Rawlings. Everyone listens to his speeches,

even when some know they may not like what he says (maintained from last year).

21. Biggest Prank of the Year: The world was coming to an end. According to Yvonne

Amenuvor, the biggest idiots in Ghana were those who actually believed the same

prank when it was predicted to happen again in November, on 11.11.11.

22. Phrase of the Year: All Die be Die, made by Nana Addo-Dankwa Akufo-Addo. A close

second was the statement by Baba Jamal, “If it is a sheep, you can say it is a cow”,

in his interaction with staff of the Information Services Department. Nana Konadu

A-Rawlings' "BE BOLD" is worthy of mention.

23. The most popular Movie of the Year: Attah the Mortuary Man.

24. The most inconsistent reason for an action: Baba Jamal giving alternative

reasons for the seizure of copies of Attah the Mortuary man movie.

25. The most anticipated death (Africa): The most anticipated death (Africa):

Brother Muammar bin Mohammad bin Abdussalam bi Humayd bin Abu Manyar bin Humayd bin

Nayil al Fuhsi Gaddafi.

26. Team of the year: Wa All Stars.

27. The most scarce product: LP gas (still reigning).

28. My inspirer of the year: Bright Simons. In 2011, he was named among the top 11

Global Innovators, in the Top 11 in 2011 list. “Bright Simons from Ghana who

invented mPedigree, the free text-messaging application for fighting counterfeit

medicines, and launched mPedigree Network (www.mPedigree.Net) in Africa and South

Asia was named a winner by the mHealth Alliance.” My wish for next year is to meet

him in person, keep inspiring us Bright!

29. Entertainment fad (and dance of the year): Azonto.

30. Discovery of the Year: Sodium Bicarbonate

31. Most rewarding career of the year: Financial Engineer

32. Absentee worker of the year: The Speaker of Parliament (won last year as well).

33. Most forgotten Prophet of the Year: Prophet Segbene Xenodzi, the FONKAR prophet,

who prophesied that NKA Rawlings would beat Uncle Atta hands down.

34. Joke of the Year: ICC asking the new Libyan Government to investigate the murder

of the Brother Gaddafi

35. Sportsman of the Year: Dede Ayew. He was consistent with club and country,

active in the Champions League and winner of the BBC African Footballer of the Year.

36. Arrest of the Year: Arrest of former Ivorian President Laurent Gbagbo in a bunker.

37. Comedian of the year: Jointly won by: Kwame Dzokoto - he had a laughter wand

with which he turned on Tuesdays, Wednesdays evenings on TV3 and "Kumasi" movie

voice overs, and Funny Face in Trotro, who gave us the term ‘No Baga Wire!’.

38. Miracle of the year: transforming Cocaine into baking power. Followed closely by

Baba Jamal's report that President Mills raised his hands over flood waters and

caused them to recede miraculously.

39. Facebook Group of the Year: Dummy’s Guide to Ghanamanisms (DGG)

40. The Most Publicised Spiritual Duel: Between Obinnim and Ebenezer

41. The most debated word: Collateralization.

42. “Agyeeeeiiii” moments of the year: Continual postponement of launching of GLO in

Ghana.

43. Most Absurd Group of the Year: Unemployed Graduates of Ghana (UGAG). What

happens when their executives get employed?

44. Boxer of The Year: Bukom Banku. He is also a 'hactor'.

45. Most awkward and embarrassing moment of the Year: The minister of health going

on sick leave in the middle of Doctors' strike, only to be found campaigning in his

constituency. His explanation was that he was on sick leave and his doctors had

asked him to exercise. This is closely followed by the correction that President

Mills didn't graduate from the University of Legon with a first class, as put

forward by Baba Jamal.

46. Most truly hilarious statement of the Year: 'I understand England is on fire.'

President Mugabe's reaction to the London riots in August.

46. Most Romantic Laughter of the Year: President Mills' laughter on Asempa FM, in

response to the allegation that he had budgeted 90million GH cedis for his

flagbearership campaign.

47. Best Acronyms of the Year: FONKAR (Friends of Nana Konadu Agyeman Rawlings) and

GAME (Get Atta Mills Endorsed)

48. Mining Area of the Year: The Elmina Beach front, gold.

49. Toll Collectors of the Year: The Ghana Police Service

50. Tourist of the Year: Nana Akufo-Addo, on his Listening Tours

51. Synonym of the Year: Black Sheep = White Cow

52. Migrants of the Year: Fulanis, especially those who settled in Agogo. The

Fulanis were also the most talked about people of the Year.

53. Surprise of the Year: The death of Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden.

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Many blessings,

Nana Awere Damoah

Author, Tales from Different Tails/Through the Gates of Thought / Excursions In My

Mind

Contributing Author, African Roar

Author Page on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Nana-Awere-Damoah/e/B003NJ3E7Q

Website: www.nanadamoah.com

Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/nanaaweredamoah