Opinions Wed, 9 Oct 2019

Negative impact of technology on relationships

Technology is the sum of techniques, skills, methods, and processes used in the production of goods or services or in the accomplishment of objectives. Although we don’t realize it sometimes, the use of technology increases every day.

Most of us are now dependent to the technology and use several of them to fulfill specific tasks that we perform in our life.

Technology is very good and can be used wisely but since its inception even relationships have been migrated unto virtual platforms like social media as well as other mediums. That seems to keep families together even when physically they are apart.

Online courses which enable people to stay far away from campus and yet further their education and even make friends online has become another trend by which people access education without much stress. People initiate relationships online, query data bases, date online, book appointments, buy or shop, hookup online etc.

Unfortunately wrong ways of using them has affected and impacted negatively on our nuclear family.


Thousands of marriages across the world have had a fair share of the trend which has rendered many homes broken.

Since this introduction lots of married men and women have canonized the word privacy which did not exist in God’s own original plan for marriage. (Genesis 2:34, Mathew 19:5, 1Cor 16:16, Ephesians 5:31) meant the two are one flesh and shares everything in common. Which explains your secrete is my secrete and my secrete is your secrete. Anything that happens to one part of the body cannot be kept secret or hidden from the other parts of your body. That is how deep the statement one flesh or one body means.

Between us there’s no privacy. I believe anybody you can share your most secrete which is actually your 'genital area' must be your husband or wife because it is the deepest secret of a man and woman. In fact sex is the deepest communication between a man and a woman and should not be taken for granted.

Today biblical perspective of marriage stands in stark contrast to societal acceptance of cohabitation.

God’s word is filled with numerous references regarding sex outside the boundaries of marriage (Acts 15:20; 1Corinthians 6:13, 18; Ephesians 5:3; 1 Thessalonians 4:3;Hebrews 13:4, for example).

Couples who are sexually intimate without being married are living in opposition to God’s will. In this kind of sinful relationship, they cannot experience the authentic sexuality God intended for them. Premarital sex, then, is a “disconnect” from God’s intention for sexuality. It can cause confusion and lead to some real difficulties before and during marriage.

Likewise, many couples who choose to cohabit before marriage do so because they want to know what marriage will be like. However, cohabiting couples who later marry say cohabitation is different from Marriage (Cohan & Kleinbaum, 2002).

Marriage tends to change the nature of the relationship. What was once casual becomes legally binding. Many engaged couples declare that, “marriage won’t change us,” but find out that it does. Communication patterns and roles which were established during courtship are renegotiated after marriage. This is where we adopt to change to keep the relationship on its toes.

When marriage was instituted there was no phone. Why should we allow recent technologies to change the original plan and purpose of God for Marriage? Technology can be used for the good of mankind but not to set families apart.

Why should we restrict couples from going into each other’s phone or computers? I will answer that: because we are giving each of them the opportunity to keep secretes and make individual choices at the expense of their love relationship. We are giving them options to either be loyal or disloyal, to be faithful or unfaithful, sincere or insincere. That is what the church of God has also adopted from the circular world.

Why are we living in lies and deceit?

Now it is obvious that recent technologies has unveiled and expose the weaknesses of lots of men and women who are in marriages and committing adultery or having multiple partners. People are video recorded having affair outside their marriages,some audio tapes are trending on the internet unaware. Some renowned person’s names are being mentioned across social media regarding illicit sex.

Another unfortunate trend is, we rather turn to advice couples not to invade each other’s privacy, giving them the opportunity to indulge with multiple partners. Well, we can pretend it doesn’t exist but it is real. So therefore what is love relationship if there is disloyalty? We are only crying out for peace in homes by avoiding couples from invading into each other’s terrain but we are not crying for justice.

We should not take each other for granted meaning you shouldn't do anything at the blindside without telling your better half, soldiers look out for each other on the battle field in other to achieve a common goal.

What is love?

The word love which we disrespect and have turned our heart away from and have thrown out of the window today is found in every book of the bible. Which means God is actually serious about it. We know love is sacrifice, please search the meaning of sacrifice. The English dictionary says Love compasses a range of strong positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

Unfortunately pastors and councilors have joined the crusade and are now speaking the language of the world.

1.We are married and yet dating other people on WhatsApp and other social media network.

2.You can communicate and book appointment in guest houses and hotels to meet your girl or boyfriend to spend some time together at the expense of your marriage.

3.You are afraid to leave your phone and go to the bath or washroom because you will be unable to explain everything you have on your phone if found out.

My password is your password, your password is mine no matter what the makers of phones and computers call it. Marriage and families have existed before technology and any other parasite that steals our loyalty to our loved once. It is disappointing to know churches have also joined the world and trying to fit these ideologies into the bible to suite the agenda. Now the believer reads a scripture and would want to negotiate on the scripture. We cravenly need space to unleash our immoral behaviors.

Well, Paul knew and warned us in 2 Timothy 3, that, these and many more are coming and we have to be aware.

Another disaster is where celebrities are boldly misleading people online, showing what they have acquired and their achievements as a result of feeding on people’s marriages and dating men for money and wealth.

Students can’t study anymore, young folks are aggressively pursuing properties even if it will course them their integrity and life. I hope religious leaders and councilors will go back to the truth and add their voices to eradicate the saga. Teach morals, virtues and loyalty. If we can’t be truthful to ourselves who are we going to be honest with?

I trust that we will join forces together to reverse this evil agenda, calculated to render many homes redundant and bring the discipline back. I edge all married couples that, you may have had some preachers and councilors contradicted themselves in this area, but it should not be your story. You may be fighting financial battles, marital battles, you may be in need of a child, job, resources to start a business, want to go to school or change a job but never compromise your faith in God’s original purpose and plan for your marriage. I edge you to hold fast, never to give up on your loved once because love is sacrifice and is still is.

If we work within God’s frame work for marriage, we will be at peace and parasites that steal our loyalty to each other will not have its way into our homes.

Columnist: Emmanuel Egyir-Croffet