Not everyone wants us to succeed

Dr. Gaisie 3.jfif Dr. Annie Gaisie

Sat, 11 Apr 2020 Source: Dr. Annie Gaisie

What is the motivation for this type of behaviour?

If you can survive the attempts to make you fail, your success rate will increase.

Why would anyone not want their friend or relative to succeed? Surprisingly, not everyone will celebrate your progress neither will they be happy with your success. Once you began to have "clear vision" and chase after the things that make you happy in life and you start succeeding, that is when people will begin to envy you.

Why? Shouldn't people be proud of you instead, that you are breaking the norm and doing something exceptional? As pleasant as it sounds, this isn't always the case. Have you ever been told in your life to never live your life based on the expectations of others? That is probably one of the most valuable lessons or advice that you have ever received.

As unfortunate as it is to say, many of us believe in the exact expectations that we are told. Without trying new things, we've already considered ourselves "incapable" of succeeding in certain areas, based on other people's experiences and expectations of us.

We take the words of other people, give up on our dreams, give up on everything we believe— all because someone along the way belittled us.

What most of us do not realize is that, we are meant to exceed our limits in life, because that is how we grow as individuals. That is how we discover our potential and achieve the desires, goals, and dreams that we set for ourselves. That is exactly how we live the lives that we want.

Where we will one day look back when we are older and say to ourselves: I lived a fulfilling life.

So, what exactly are some of the reasons as to why people do not want to see you succeed in life?

1. Is because of their personal need for control. Most of the time, when other's see you doing "better" than them, it gives them a sense of discouragement. They fear that your success will change the perceived views of the outside world—regarding their own success. This behaviour tends to happen with those closest to us such as friends, family, and co-workers.

2. Because if you do, they begin to question themselves and feel "behind" in their own lives. So rather than them being inspired by your success and doing something positive, they bring you down in hopes that you don't get "ahead" of them.

3. In some instances, some people have reached hard for their dreams, only to fall short, often times through no fault of their own. Chances are that the same people who put you down for your success already know what it's like to be belittled. Simply because they may have gone through similar types of abuse. The only difference is, they let those negative opinions of other's get to them which led them to give up on those dreams.

4. Some people that notice your success, will recognize all of the hard times that you may have had to endure—to get to the point that you are at. They will understand that your success came with sacrifices—the one's that they were not willing to make. With that being said, a part of them may be angry at themselves for not doing everything that they could have done.

Understanding that if they just had a little more perseverance and courage, potentially they could have been successful. Typically anger is a normal response in situations like this because of buried emotions and jealousy.

You do not have to conform to every society's expectations. Don’t allow negative comments from others rub you off your big break. Not everyone will celebrate you, but this is because you are unique and some people struggle with strong Assertive and Confident women. Keep your head held high, surround yourself with history makers and reach for your dream.

You are not done yet. Most people who bring you down are already struggling with their own insecurities.

By: Dr. Annie Gaisie, Psychologist - Addictive Behaviour.

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Columnist: Dr. Annie Gaisie