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Opinions Thu, 6 Mar 2014

Once an Audacious Lady Has Now Become a Coward,

Hiding indoors

The First Lady of "Animiakrom" is currently suffering the visitation of the Law of Karma. She is holding herself in the inner chamber of her house which is under lock and key. The security of her house is beefed up by local macho-like servants. She is haunted by the long arm of the law that has proved to be her nemesis.

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Inspector "Nsemfo ye ahyei" and two of his officers have been trying to gain access to her to serve her with a notice of the breach of law, but in vain. Hey servants, I am scared shitless of the law enforcement agents. Should any turn up at the door, please tell them I am not around. Make sure no stranger is allowed inside the house, not even a housefly, ok? Yes, our First Lady, said the faithful servants in harmonious unison.

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The First Lady picks up the phone, dials a number. Krrrrrrrrr, krrrrrrr, Hello, First Lady, answers His Majesty the King, "Odisika Kalabuleman". What Can I do for you? Your Majesty the King, please someone accompanied by the police is understood to be seeking to serve some document on me. I understand our agreed plan to impose my "Obo3fa dadeEfa" on the "Animiakromians" has backfired.

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They have served a similar document on me, says His Majesty the King. I am also trembling like a leaf come under the intense harmattan wind at the moment. Even though I have developed a tough skin, thicker than that of the elephant probably, I am still panicking that I have played myself into the hands of my detractors. I have negligently given them cause to run off at mouth, raining insults on me as usual. I don’t know if I was born jinxed. I seem to anger most people by my weird actions which are, as dishonest as the chiefs surrounding me.

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How can you help get my plans back on track, inquires First Lady? First Lady, you sound crazy. Now, we are in the grips of the law and you are asking how I can assist you impose your favourite candidate on your people. I can’t help. It is now God for us all and each one for him or herself. His Majesty slams down the phone on her.

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She sobs for a while, wipes the tears off her eyes and promises herself to deal with His Majesty the King at the appropriate time. First, he will never again see my nudity. He will have to cough up any pesewa he has taken from me. Oh no, it was my fault. God is punishing me for denying my people to favour the King and his band of "greedy bastards"

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The "Animiakromians", once cowards, are now emboldened, firing salvos at me and His Majesty the King. They are warning His Majesty the King over the radio not to impose my candidate on them else, there will be bloodbath in the town. I would push for the bloodbath if I had my own way but God will push me into his second mightier trap if I dire challenge His wish. I had better throw in the towel.

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His Majesty the King summons his top confidants to an urgent meeting over the events unfolding in Animiakrom. My elders, he says, we have committed an unpardonable crime against the State, the gods and the departed souls. We first hatched and executed a plot to intentionally deny the true paramount royals of Animiakrom their birth right by putting up their stool for sale to the highest bidder. Little did I know that as we were proposing, God was disposing? We have been caught with our pants down. What is the way forward from this impasse?

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The usher, "Odiawuo Akyempenhene", stood up, Your Majesty, it will come to naught, he said. Are we not living in the land of "Ahufuo3" where the top brass in which we belong can commit crime with impunity? His view was seconded by the other vociferous chief with sunken eyes.

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God is sitting quietly up there watching them. How can these chiefs be that ignorant? Do they not realise that I am in charge and will make sure they pay dearly for their crimes? It cannot continue like that. There is time and season for everything. Their cup is now full up to the brim. I shall show them that I, God the Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent, will do whatever it takes to reverse their evil intentions no matter what it takes to do so.

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In a dream, God warned His Majesty the King. Hey, you mortal being, have you forgotten the mishap of King Nebuchadnezzar? I am going to soften your tough skin. You will begin to feel the pains, as stubborn and unrepentant as you are. Who bequeathed the right to choose the chief of Animiakrom upon you, you charlatan? Your days are numbered. Repent so that I shall have mercy upon you. Kalabule will take you nowhere, oh greedy little human being.

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The next day, His Majesty the King called his confidants and revealed his dream to them. They all agreed enough is enough with their conniving evil machinations against the true royals of Animiakrom. They phoned up First Lady and strongly warned her to throw in the towel, and then go and lick her bleeding wounds. "The evil that men do lives after them".

Why have you done this to me, sobs First Lady on the phone. Shut up and let’s be realistic, said the chief with the sunken eyes. We were only helping you to twist history but unfortunately, our ways are not God’s ways. We have failed in our attempt. Your stupidity has given us away. Why should you utter certain words and make statements that knowingly infringe the laws of the land in public? Can we fight God? No!

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We shall from today forward, learn to be principled, avoiding blatant corruption that leads onto death and disgrace, says His Majesty the King, "Odisika Kalabuleman".

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What a fabulous fiction! I dedicate it to my fans.

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Columnist: Adofo, Rockson