Our Responsibility Towards Our Children Abroad

It is the hope and ambition of every Ghanaian abroad that the children they left at

home while they struggled abroad to regularise their stay, join them as soon as

residence and work permits are obtained. There is also the group that get married to

natives of the particular country where they reside and get children by them. There

are also children who are born abroad by parents who are both Ghanaians. It is the

responsibility of the parents to teach the children the way they should go so that,

as the Bible says, when they grow they will not depart from it.

Often, the Ghanaian children born abroad or brought over when they are very young

(like 6 years) turn out better in the foreign societies than children brought over

from Ghana when they are in the early teens (13 - 15 years). Such early

teenagers are the most likely to become displaced. They know something about Ghana

and come abroad and see completely different things (like the freedom here and the

tons of time boys and girls have on their own in this society). The shock can be

overwhelming for them and if the parents are not "hard" on them, they can easily

go astray. Such children are also the ones who are never likely to learn the host

country's language fluently especially when they find themselves in a poor part of

the city dominated by foreigners.

One difference can also be easily seen in the parents' educational status. Often,

children of Ghanaians with a high level of education turn out better in life than

children of parents with low education. This is a sociologically proven fact even

among the natives. That is why Ghanaians with low education should exert themselves

even more to make sure that their children are well educated - beyond the levels

they themselves did not have the opportunity to reach.

Most parents are happy to see their children rattle the English language like the

British or the American. Those who live outside the English-speaking areas like

France, Italy, Spain, Germany, Sweden, or Finland feel proud to see their children

speak like the natives. There is obvious advantage in this but the disadvantages of

neglecting the mother tongue far outweigh the advantages.

Language is a very important aspect of the culture of a people. A child who is

taught the Ghanaian culture will never give something to an adult with the left

hand. Such a child will always leave the hall when his or her parents have visitors.

They will greet the visitors and leave. Such a child gets to know God very early in

his or her life. The reverse is the case of those Ghanaian children who are

completely drowned in the foreign language and culture.

There is also another problem. Most parents work full time, eight hours plus extra

working hours for increased income. The children of such parents become very

dependent on their friends. These children become victims of peer pressure since the

parents are not often at home. The children are not supervised and they develop low

self-esteem. They do badly in school, because their parents do not have time to help

them study and improve their performance in school. The parents are materialistic

and think that their children are doing well when they spend long hours on

computers, video games and watching TV, which actually corrupt the children. For

most of the time when they are with their friends, nasty thoughts engulf their

minds. They very often go on a stealing spree. Most of such children are arrested

and sentenced to jail terms. It is estimated that of all the immigrants serving jail

terms in British prisons, a certain unacceptable percentage are Ghanaians. Many of

these Ghanaian children and youth have never visited Ghana before. They hardly know

any member of their parents' family. Those Ghanaians married to natives of the

countries where they live face enormous problems of "Ghanaianising" their children.

Yet these Ghanaians are busy putting up buildings and businesses in Ghana with the

hope that when they are no more, their children will take over these investments in

Ghana. This is wishful thinking because these children know nothing about the

families of their parents, don't speak any Ghanaian language and lack the Ghanaian

culture. They will never be able to live in Ghana and feel at ease and happy. Such

children will never be able to inherit their parents and take over their investments

and properties in Ghana.

Many educated and wealthy Ghanaians including business executives, lawyers, doctors,

engineers have remained abroad due to the mistakes of their parents. These people

have lost touch with the motherland due to so many factors. They lack a sense of

belongingness to any of the two cultures they can lay claim to. They are not fully

Ghanaians because they cannot speak any of our languages. Yet they don't feel they

fully belong to the countries of their birth because of the colour of their skins

and the foreign cultures of their parents.

A clarion call is urgently going to Ghanaian parents abroad to take the stages of

their children's growth and development in a foreign land seriously. They should

always speak their mother tongue to the children. Never mind if the child answers

you in a foreign language. Once you remain focused, the child will gradually change

his tongue when he speaks to you. What we should know is that we are not the ones to

teach them, English, Deutsche, Finnish, Swedish or the languages spoken by the

countries where they are resident. These children automatically pick the language of

the country where they are. Children often laugh at their parents when they speak

the foreign language with a Ghanaian accent. It is laughable that some illiterate

Ghanaian parents still continue to speak foreign languages incorrectly to their

children.

Even though most parents have big investments at home, they are reluctant to move

back home. They want to wait and see their children achieve great heights in

education.When the children complete their university education, two problems

present themselves: the children soon realise that they are not ready to go to a

country they know very little or nothing about. The parents suddenly become aware

that after forty years abroad, old age has caught up with them. Who will inherit

their investments and properties at home when they die?

Some Ghanaians who wait until they go on pension abroad very often give up the idea

of returning home for two main reasons: At that age it is very likely the parents

are dead and therefore there are no urgent responsibilities in Ghana. They also have

in mind that medical care for the old is better here than in Ghana. Old age abroad

is a period of loneliness since since your children are not always there when you

need them. It is therefore better for such a person to take a bold decision to

return home since the extended family are always available to help.

Some pensioners will also say, what is the use of going home when my children will

never come to my home? I don't need my children to be my pension payer as I am to my

parents. The major thing children abroad do with great expertise is remembering to

give the old man or woman a card during their birthdays or father's or mother's day.

Our childrem must be taught their parents' language. An effort should be made to

take children home when they are in their teens for at least three months in order

to get them familiar with the parents' relatives as well as the home country.

It is therefore the responsibility of parents to instill confidence in their

children by making them believe that they are Ghanaians who will one day return home

to take over their father's possessions.

Written by:Stephen Atta Owusu

Author:Dark Faces At Crossroads

Email:stephen.owusu@email.com