Painful passing of a dad has a lesson for you, sons and daughters

May you, o, sons, and daughters, take a serious note of the advice herein stated. It will be well with you if you heed the advice coming to you because of a personal experience I had when I paid one of my best friends a visit when holidaying in Ghana in March this year.

This friend, now late Mr.... (name withheld), just passed away on Sunday, June 23, 2024. He had decided to proceed to Ghana to return no more to the UK about fifteen years ago.

I maintained telephone contact with him and paid him three visits in different years, spending a few days at a time in his hometown when I went to Ghana on holiday.

During this year’s visit to deliver medication purchased from London to him in his hometown, I found him seriously ill, hardly able to walk even a few steps. I will not describe his illness any further.

However, what made my eyes well up with tears was when he narrated to me how wickedly his biological son, who was staying in the house in the next room to his, was treating him.

He would be screaming, weeping in pain, and calling for someone to fetch him water from the fridge in the kitchen or take money to go and buy him food. His son would be in his room, totally ignoring the father’s calls for help.

From his narrations regarding the callous treatment being meted out to him by his son, the father confided to me how he had been compelled or influenced to amend his testament (will), which I agreed with.

A father or mother may be influenced by how kindly or wickedly you treat them, especially when they are terminally ill and writing their testament. This is my advice to you, sons and daughters.

In the case of my deceased friend, some people may have a shock of their lives when his testament is read after his funeral.

I will not make any further disclosures but will simply advise our sons and daughters to show us more love, especially when we are taken ill, if they want to become beneficiaries of our will.

I will in the future come back to reveal more details about my friend’s bitter experience at the hands of his own son.

The fact that your father could not take you abroad does not merit such wicked treatment from you.

The cripple thinks he is doing his mom by dragging his buttocks on the floor, but indeed, he is doing himself, so an Akan proverb goes. You will end up losing out as a son or daughter if you maltreat your father or mother in their dying days.

Mr.... may your soul rest in perfect peace. May the flame of our friendship continue to glow even in your passing.

“Damirefa due, due, due ne amanehunu.”

A word to the wise is enough.